Tower Of Babel

Gentle people, I have had a nice Sunday so far today. After the activities with the funeral and gathering at the house yesterday, the latter, which I might add was quite enjoyable, I’m a bit tired this morning. Last night I was down at Mad Bull’s pen watching the World Cup ’till well after 2AM. In truth, there was little soccer viewing that took place, after a certain hour I think the TV was watching us as we both fell into blissful sleep. It was good company nevertheless MB.

This morning at 11:00AM I had a meeting to attend at a friend’s home. His house is situated way up in Smokey Vale, on a road named Aries Avenue. I feel they may have called it this, because one gets the impression that at night you probably feel as if you are amongst the stars due to the elevation of the place! This was my first time there. The view from up there is just fantastic! Also, it only reminded me of something about Jamaica that I only know too well. A NUH ALL A WE WHO LIVE YAH A SUFFAH!!! (It’s not all of us who live here that are suffering!!!) The homes, pardon me, that should read MANSIONS, that I passed on the way to this friend’s house leave nothing to the imagination. Tings a gwaan for these people!!! (These people are living the good life!!)

After the meeting, I was admiring the view and I mentioned to my Father, who was also at the meeting, how spectacular the view was. Daddy jokingly asked me if we wanted to sell our house and move into this neighbourhood. So our friend then proceeded to inform us that the empty lot next to him was for sale. The asking price for the land was ONLY 4 Million Jamaican dollars!! (about US $85,000.) Now, after we sell our humble dwelling and buy a piece of land for 4 million dollars, we would probably sit and look at the land for another ten years waiting to start building. Yes friends, this little country of ours is truly a special place. My only regret is that I did not carry my digital camera with me to snap the lovely vistas and mansions.

Driving home, I realised that I was two cars behind Mad Bull on Constant Spring Road. So I rang him on the ‘cellie’, told him about this place and lamented about the fact that it’s time that we start to earn some REAL money, as clearly we have not even started to comprehend the meaning of the word living. We plan to take a drive up there again soon. MB promised me that if I can buy the land, then he will forward the funds to build my dream home. Thanks in advance mi bredren.

Another thing that made my morning was a story in the Outlook Magazine of the Sunday Gleaner. Now being a Medical Practitioner myself, I make it my duty to read the “Doctor’s Advice” column in the Outlook Magazine every week. The topics that people ask advice about can be quite hilarious indeed. This particular question by a distressed Mother was easily among the best I have seen. It was titled, “Did bullet make her pregnant?” In essence, the Mother reports that her daughter was involved in a drive-by-shooting and apparently was hit in the belly by a bullet. Now, luckily she was not badly hurt. She subsequently became pregnant but SWEARS to her Mother that she’s a VIRGIN. (I wonder to which bodily orifice she refers? Her nostrils perhaps? I know, I’m really terrible!) She is now swearing that the bullet made her pregnant.

Her Mother apparently made enquiries and the bullet was alleged to have hit a man in the testicles before hitting her daughter. The daughter now says that the bullet must have had some of this man’s sperm on it and resulted in her pregnancy. How this could be, baffles me. Apparently they want to a Doctor (not I) who told them that it is possible, and that a similar case was documented in Medical Journals. The Doctor who responded to the story in the newspaper, agreed that this was so, however, he stated that this was about 140 years ago, and that it was most probable that the girl was trying to hide the fact that she was actually sexually active, from her family. He went on to state that he feels that this is the case with this girl also and recommended that she seek the services of an O&G specialist to confirm her virginity (or lack thereof). I must congratulate him for giving sound advice. Nuff applause and clapping of hands to you Doc. I operate by one principle in Medicine when it comes to women and the missing of a period. All women (regardless of how much they are willing to swear on the Bible that they have never had sex) are pregnant until proven otherwise, once they have missed a period. I don’t think this approach has ever failed me professionally. As for this unfortunate ‘virgin’ pregnant young girl, all I will say is, “Yeah right!!!” Thought I’d share that one with you in case you didn’t see it yourself.

Well the weather has taken a turn for the better since Saturday. I don’t think we need a shower of rain for a while. On account of the good weather, I think I am going to put on my track shoes and go walking. Hope you enjoy the rest of the Sunday and I’ll be looking out for more World Cup happenings. Cool runnins.

This entry was posted on Sunday, June 2nd, 2002 at 4:50 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.