A good crap!
Oh well, I guess you may all be wondering what sort of ’shitty’ title this is for a post. But here goes anyway.
I was speaking with a patient today. He has a chronic skin disorder which is fairly well controlled, so we dealt with that in the usual manner. He also is paraplegic an account of an accident he had a few years ago and is confined to a wheelchair. He then asked me if he could quiz me about something non-dermatologic. I told him sure, in the event that I couldn’t give him a good opinion, then I’d let him know as I certainly do not consider my medical knowledge on all matters to be the best.
He proceeded to tell me that as a result of his paraplegia, he hadn’t crapped in six days! Bloody hell, I thought to myself. Now this is one of the problems that comes with being paraplegic, as there is loss of the nervous connections with the bowel. Hence, the normal movements of the bowels, called peristalsis, is impaired resulting in bouts of constipation.
I recommended some tablets called Dulcolax and Mineral oil. Hopefuly, that will have him going.
Personally, I am a very regular person. I can’t leave the house in the mornings before having a good crap, I would just feel ill. The thought of not doing anything for six days is really beyond me. I would just feel full of it! When it hit me was how much I take a good shit for granted. It’s things like these in life that for us ‘normal’ people are routine, can be such a problem to others in situations like this. Can you imagine as a young man in your thirties not waking up to a good erection in the mornings, having to pass urine through a tube in your penis called a catheter, not being able to walk or have some good sex? Just think about it for a while and then you will realise that we do have lots to give thanks to the Almighty for.
Other people that I know, have mentioned to me that they can get corked up by having to share a hotel room on a business trip with someone from the office that they are not too familiar with. The idea of using the john before the other person and perhaps leaving a smell behind, makes them feel a bit embarrassed. Or I have met others who don’t want to let their farts rip as they’re ashamed. I can understand this, especially in female company, where I do try to curb myself. But hell, if it’s a male with whom I’m familiar, there’s no shame in that department. Hopefully, it’s not the offensive malignant smelling type! Some of you may think I’m disgusting, but as the saying goes, let fart be free! It just may save you a doctor bill!
These things really don’t bother me at all as they are just normal body functions and I don’t think I’ve ever considered myself to be an anal retentive type.
Anyway, I really hope this guy gets the shit out of him as there’s nothing like a good one to get the day started with a smile.
You’ll have to pardon me, as the World Cup is over and I don’t have much to talk about at the moment, so all sorts of crap were going through my head. I’m gonna go now before you all comment and say that I’ve got my orifices mixed up and am chatting shit! Later.
July 1st, 2002 at 9:07 pm Hey Dr D it’s not all the time you can talk about serious stuff, sometimes you just have to chat shit…..it may just turn out to be more interesting than the serious stuff
July 1st, 2002 at 10:16 pm Doctor D, I agree. We should all have a crap a day. Second best kind o relief of pressure…nuff said ladies and gentlemen. A visit to the throne room is almost necessary for me to enjoy a good run. By the way, Brasil did impress on Sunday morning. I now fully agree with your comments that they know when and how to step up a notch and rise to the occasion.
July 1st, 2002 at 11:11 pm Yes baje doc. We agree with each other, I guess it’s something to do with the fact that we were in the same medical class. By the way, I know only too well what the first and best way to relieve pressure is that you aluded to. We will keep it secret for all those who may not know eh?
July 2nd, 2002 at 10:22 am sounds like you all need to do that AND RIGHT AWAY!
July 2nd, 2002 at 11:18 am We should give thanks for those who face more challenges than we could ever imagine, or handle ourselves. They serve as God’s reminder that no matter how heavy we think our Cross is, there is always someone else that carries a heavier one, so rather than complain about ours…..carry it with humility…and see if we can’t help someone else with their burden as well.
July 2nd, 2002 at 10:35 pm Phleg, a very true word you have spoken.
July 4th, 2002 at 3:55 pm Its interesting how you can philosophize so well about the simple things in life. What you say is quite true. Some people would give up the world to have the things in life which were always taken for granted. I guess that’s why some people believe that everyday should be lived like its the last one. We never know what tomorrow may bring. keep the faith and continue spreading the gospel according to ‘help.’