Tower Of Babel

My sistren Diana at work related this story to me today. I found it quite interesting. Here goes….

One of Diana’s friends, a single female, decided to employ a painter to do some painting inside her home recently. The man was recommended as reliable by one of her male neighbours. The man turned up for the job on the morning as planned before she left to go to work. She showed him where was to be painted and then left for her job.

During her lunch hour, she decided to pass by her home to see how he was getting along with the job and to have some lunch. She did have some leftover food in the fridge from the previous night’s dinner which would have been more than adequate for lunch. When she reached her townhouse, she called out to the painter, but there was no reply. She knocked but there was no answer. After calling out for a few more minutes, she went back into her car to get the keys for the front door and opened it. She called out again, but there was still no response from her painter. She was a bit puzzled. She walked around to the dining room only to find an empty bottle of her Appleton rum on the floor, which was not previously opened. She saw no glass and no chaser. He was drinking the rum straight form the bottle and evidently finished the quart. Then to her horror, in the bay window, there is the painter, shirt off, snoring away cuddled up with one of her cushions and drooling on it as well. She was shocked.

She proceeded into the kitchen only to see a dirty plate on the kitchen counter and the pots with the leftover food which she had planned to eat, thrown down in the sink. She became livid. The painter was still blissfully in deep slumber and totally unaware that she was around. Eventually, she tried to wake him up by poking him with her finger and shaking him. This was to no avail. He was obviously drunk to rass!

She thought about what to do for a while. She opened the backdoor only to see thrown down on the lawn an empty can of her bully (corned) beef and, to make matters worse, an empty tin of her cat’s food!!! The bastard had eaten one of her cat’s tins of food! Eventually, she became a bit afraid and decided to call out nextdoor to see if her neighbour who had recommended him was home. Luckliy he was and she asked him to pop over for a minute. Before he came over, she went into her bathroom to find the toilet seat up and the roll of toilet paper left in a state. Luckily, the bowl was flushed as she did not see anything gross and solid!

Her neighbour used a piece of bamboo to rouse him from sleep and eventually he awoke. Poor girl was livid and started cussing him, as after all of this, there was no evidence anywhere to suggest that any painting had even started! Hear what the painter replies, “Lady, me nuh know a wah you a gwaan bout so. Jus easy nuh!” (Lady, I don’t know why you are getting so upset, just relax!)

Eventually, they were able to get him outside and demand that he leave the premises. However, they decided to call the Police just in case he gave any trouble in his drunken stupor. He agreed to leave and said he was going around the backyard to put on his shirt. Well, guess what? He falls asleep on the lawn around the back. Eventually, the Police took so long to come that her neighbour offered to take him to a bus stop far away, after all, he was the one who had recommended him. Talk about some damn nerve eh? I am sure that I would have been quite pissed myself and cussed some serious claats, if a similar thing had happened to me. What would you have done?(Bear in mind seh man dead inna dis country fe less dan dat!) Peace.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 18th, 2002 at 12:02 am and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.