Tower Of Babel

Yes bredrens, in the last few days, I have really been giving you true ‘Doctor’s visits’. I don’t seem to have the energy to think up any lengthy posts that will stimulate healthy discussion. Fear not this dry spell will pass. Speaking of which, it has been hot nuh rass these last few days. It seems Summer is here already.

Yesterday, I went into an office at a place where they repair car radiators. Do you know those little jokes people put up in their offices? Some of them can be quite funny. Well, I saw this one, “Credit is a disease, but you won’t catch it here!” Do you know any good ones like this that are funny?

Anyhow, as a man who aims to please (especially the ladies ), I have posted yet another orchid bloom as promised. Please enjoy.

Anyhow, I am off to wash the hospital grime off my skin and head down by Dr. Spanish, my other bredren, for a few. The man informs me that he has some 21 Year Old Appleton (yes the one in the Blue Bottle!), and that is almost as sweet as kitty! So, lata all.

Well, I scanned quickly through the Gleaner this morning (rahtid bwoy, work can really dominate and cramp a man’s lifestyle…..but I guess we caan live without it) and came across a sports article. The Reggae Boyz play South Africa in their country today. Unfortunately, I will not see the match (if it is broadcast live), because of work (same crap again) as it is scheduled for 1:30 PM our time. Anyway, hope that our team can gwaan wid big tings and buss up de South Africans. After all, that is quite a distance to travel to go kick ball. Later, seen.

Well, here is the second picture of the orchid blooms that I promised to post. Again, it is so beautiful.

I really wanted to post something to stimulate a little discussion, but my brain is already half asleep. So, hear what..I going bed soon. Morrows.

I have come to realize that my digital camera is very much a part of me. I take it just about everywhere. It is an Olympus C700 with 10X zoom. The Smart Media card I have in it has 64MB of space, so it stores about 128 pictures. I have taken some good photos with it, and there is lots that the camera can do, but who the hell really wants to sit down and read through the damn CD that comes with it? What I love about them is that they have made the photo studio almost obsolete. No need to drop off for processing. Take your photo, download from the camera to the computer, and print on high grade photographic printer paper.

Today, I passed by the home of one of my Mother’s friends. She was showing me some of the exquisite orchids that she has in bloom at present. I could not resist. The picture above is just one of them taken today. I am going to post one per day during the rest of this week. Hope you enjoyed this one, I think it is beautiful.

Yes friends, my sister Rufie after a long absence, has posted a little joke from our ‘family archives’. It made me laugh just thinking back on the day. Go check it out as she needs comments to encourage her to keep at it.

I went to a funeral service yesterday. I can’t say it was at all sad, it was more a celebration of life and rebirth. In some ways it remnided me of the service we had in May last year when my Aunt G passed away. Both these people seemed to be so at peace with God from so long ago. They are in a better place.

On Friday night, I had a few VXs with Mad Bull and we were discussing burial and funerals. I stated that when my time comes, I wish to be buried and I do not want to be cremated. Why? Well, I know this may sound stupid to you, but I do not wish my body to be burned. I’m pretty afraid of fire. I’m fully aware that when we die we are simply flesh without feeling, but that is MY wish.

Mad Bull took the other side. He wants to be cremated as he says that he does not want to rot and have worms eat him. That is his wish and he is entitled to it as well.

Financially speaking, cremation is a much cheaper option costing about a third of burial here. I know that this is a morbid discussion, but facing facts, we are all going to end up at that point someday. Do you have a preference for your final disposal? I think it is important that at some point, this is voiced to someone close to you so that it can be done to your liking. Anyhow, I’m going to kill this death and dying discussion….pun intended.

I was chatting with Mad Bull again recently, and the topic of caterers for functions came up. I related a little story that had put my poor Mother into a rather embarrasing situation some years back.

We were having a dinner at our home for some Canadian business associates of my Father. The dinner was scheduled for 7:30 PM and it was being catered. The guests arrived and all appeared to be going well. They were chatting away, enjoying drinks and saying just how much they liked what they had seen of Jamaica.

At about 7 o’clock, there was no sign of the food arriving, so Mummy called the caterer. An elderly woman had answered and assured her that the food had long left and should be here anytime.

Well, we waited. 7:30……no food. At 8 PM my Mother was not at all amused, and Daddy started to get quite concerned as well, and he is not a man that worries easily. You see, he could easily see future business possibly becoming endangered by having invited people to dinner and only being able to offer them drinks. Damn, the people may well have had to go back to their hotel with gas!

Eventually we gave up hope on the caterer. We had to take some drastic action. At 9PM, we called a Chinese Restaurant, I believe the name was Manor Palace. They used to sell good food, but closed down quite a number of years ago. The lady who answered, told us that they were just about to close! Rass! We were desperate, she had to save us. We told her that we were buying food for about twenty people (which was in fact the truth.) All of a sudden, her tone of voice changed. “We will wait pon you”, she said. (Hey, the Chinese are excellent business people.) We went and got the food in less than 45 minutes.

When we returned, I had to reverse the car into the driveway, so that the aluminium containers with the food could be taken out the trunk of the car and into the kitchen. However, there was no way that this could have happened without the guests seeing!

Dinner was eventually served, albeit about two and a half hours late. We did have to tell our guests what had happened and they were very gracious about it. Needless to say, they were so rahtid hungry when the food came, they had no complaints at all.

The next morning at about 11 o’clock, Mummy was on the back patio relaxing, still unable to fathom what happened to the catered food. The dogs started to bark as a strange car drove in. Out came the caterer. She was very apologetic. What was her excuse? She forgot! She thought the dinner was the following week. She said that she wished to make amends and offered to cater any function for us in the future at cost. Mummy, still a bit annoyed seemed to forgive her and then she left.

Now my Father is not one to put up with certain types of foolishness. When Mummy told him what the caterer had offered, (though in all honesty, I don’t think she would have taken her up on her offer), Daddy exclaimed, “Who, she? I wouldn’t want her to fry an egg for me for free!” Have you ever found yourself in a situation that embarressed you and it was not by any means your fault? Feel free to share and enjoy the Sunday. And BTW, I hope I’m not boring you with this post.

Hi everyone, yes I am finally here, but with that said, remember that nothing happens before the time.

I am going to tell some family jokes that I recall ok….A Saturday afternoon, many years ago, one of my maternal aunts came to visit us at home, now this aunt is very, very well endowed in the chest area and at times seems to be struggling to be steady due to the chest ‘weight.’ For this story, I will call her auntie c! She was so happy to see the family that she was hugging and kissing on everyone, she is quite happy and very friendly. Her happiness seemed to have extended quite a bit that as she hugged my father with so much force as to put pressure on her brassiere that the bra strap busted and with quite a brute force - very loudly!!!! Now my father is not really known for too much discretion, so he said aloud, ‘aunt c, I thought it was a gun shot man, I almost had to get my gun to return the fire.’ Needless to say that everyone else was embarrased, but not aunt c - that’s nothing to her - trust me!!!

I am thinking of some more jokes and will soon put them in the blog ok….bear with me. Let’s see the response that this one brings shall we?

As our government finds themselves in a situation that makes it more and more dificult to stay financially afloat and our country has a foreign debt that is climbing exponentially, we have been informed that we the taxpayers, are going to have our balls squeezed even more. The General Consumption Tax (GCT) on telephone services has been increased from 15 to 20%. So, it now costs more to chat, even my posting this here is costing me more than previously. A multitude of other consumer items that previously did not attract any GCT, are now being added to the list. This includes MEDICAL supplies and DRUGS!!

Here is an article that reports that Red Stripe will be increasing the price of its products as well. So, even the cost of a little buzz is going to go up. I guess VX will soon follow as well, and in all honesty, they can’t be blamed. The one that shocked me most on the list I saw in a previous paper was that WOODEN COFFINS are now going to attract the GCT! So, even in death, they still want to squeeze the very last they can get out of us!

I hope all those who ‘Logged on to Progress’ in the general elections last year will continue to sing the praises of this rather impotent (for want of abetter word) administration.

Having got that off my chest, TGIF, and even though it may be costing us more, I’m looking forward to a drink later. Have a good weekend all.

It has been one of those days…..driving through the gate this morning, I actually found myself thinking, “Lord help me to get through this day.” Yes, I went to work feeling tired and the day has dragged on. Anyway, I am really here doing a little surfing before going to hold a fresh (shower). Not much to share with you today, so rather than beat up mi gums, let me say adios. But, before you leave, go wish Texas T Bone and his wifey Happy Fourth anniversary.

Well, this morning I did not get to read the Gleaner as there is this menace of a puppy that keeps coming over to the house from one of the neighbours that I don’t even know, and shredding the paper to pieces! If I catch the little mutt of a mongrel, things might not be too pretty.

So, having had no paper to peruse while having my tea this morning, I am only just now looking at the Gleaner on-line. This article made me so annoyed. Can you imagine that some of the people who attended the recently held Boys and Girls Champs destroyed seats and were defacing the Stadium?? Is there no sense of National Pride in these vandals? It is a pity they were not caught in the act and given a befitting fine or punishment. PJ, our Prime Minister is by no means a favourite of mine, but I have to agree with his stance on this one. Rass bwoy, will our nation ever make any progress?