Soon come……….
I was stimulated to write this little post after I read this entry by Yamfoot (AKA Michelle)
Now, as a Jamaican and citizen of the Caribbean, I have come to learn that we tend not to be very good when it comes to time. Yes, I’m fully aware that traffic may well slow you down when commuting from place to place, especially in urban settings but leave a little earlier to take that into account.
Here in Jamaica we love to use the term, “Soon come!” And trus me, soon is a term that is relative. I guess ’soon’ varies from person to person. If you know someone who is notorious for tardiness, then his soon could well be tomorrow or next week. I have also noted this trend in some of the other Caribbean territories that I have visited. I wonder if this is because the pace of life here is a bit slower compared to First World living? Now, in some respects, I don’t mind the ’soon come’ sort of laid back lifestyle. I really would not like to have to live like some of the people I have seen in urban regions overseas…constantly on the go, meeting deadlines and carrying around high stress levels. But, I respect them for punctuality. At the same time, I am not fond of extreme lateness on either side. I don’t like to keep people waiting…. and this applies to patients as well. Conversely, if you tell me a particular time, try stick near to it nuh. 9PM is not the same at 11:30ish. If you get caught up in a situation, caal nuh. At least it shows that you respect the other individual’s time. Read on if you have the time nuh………..
I now recall a Christmas dinner we had here a few years ago. It was a relatively small crowd, about ten adults in all. Now, if you ask me, a Christmas dinner is a pretty personal affair. It is not a jerk chicken free for all who wants to come affair… (at least not at my home). In other words, you don’t cater for twenty if you invite ten (even though a good host always provides for a few more than are invited….that’s what I grew up learning.)
Anyway, one of the company we had invited (who were family and close friends) was one of Daddy’s bredrens from school days. Yeah, him separated from him wife long time and have a likkle Cuban girlfriend who is probly younger than him daughter. Him not working and nuh money naw run. So, Daddy kinda sorry fe him since him seh nutten naw gwaan fe him….and him most likeley don’t have nuh Christmas dinner fe nyam. Now, I myself would not like to be in a situation where Christmas Day (or any day for that matter) come and I don’t have a plate of food to eat myself, so I had no problem inviting Daddy’s bredren and him Latino gyal to join us.
We told him we were having dinner at 3 PM. (It really is a late lunch or early dinner in fact.) I actually told people three o’clock so that they could come and have a drink and some appetizers, rap with each odda etc., while we await the arrival of the notorious latecomers.
Anyway, at 4:15, everyone else was here, and gas was tekking up we belly, including Daddy (who tends to get a bit vexed when he waits to eat too long), so we went ahead and enjoyed the meal. No word from Daddy’s bredren.
At about 6 PM, the phone rings. I (unda some VX) answer. It is Daddy’s bredren, “Merry Christmas Doc!” I return the greeting. He asks to speak with Daddy. When they are chatting, I see my Father covering the mouthpiece of the phone…….’Him want to know if him can bring him girlfriend bredda and the bredda girlfriend as well.’ I don’t want to offend anyone, so I said tell them yes, (and we do have enough food.) OK, they are coming now (albeit almost three hours after the dinner time.)
You know what time dem reach???? After 8!!….some people had already left. What did Daddy bredren have on? (Remember this is a Christmas dinner….and you nuh deh at you own yard!) An old T-shirt, washout grey with the two sleeves torn off revealing him hairy armpit…look like suppen you would go walk or jog in. A old pair o shorts, and rubber flip flop slippaz! Everyone else in his party (Cuban) were reasonably well attired for the affair. In actual fact, someone asked me, “Doc. Me was a wonda if is wash him come fe wash cyar!” (Doc. I was wondering if he came to wash the cars!) Now trus me, the man didn’t have to wear a suit, but put on suppem half decent nuh? You weren’t invited to a domino and bully beef sandwich affair.
Well, guess what? He eventually had to go into the fridge and help himself and his guests to some grub, ’cause all was already packed away when they arrived and kitchen done clean. I can just see my Mother’s face while I’m typing this….God rest her soul. She would not have been amused.
Anyway, as I have taken time to share a likkle story about time, why don’t you return the favour (time permitting). I will be back later to check and see what you all have to share in the time I’m away from the blog. I’d stay with you, but have some patients to go see shortly and I wouldn’t want to have them waiting now, would I? Soon come back. (And what did I say ’bout soon?)
April 29th, 2004 at 4:50 pm …I’m a bit crap at time keeping, I have to admit - I tend towards being bang on time…this means that I am often up to five minutes late :^(…it infuriates my wife who would always rather be there five minutes early… …but I work on the principal you mention - if you want people round for a meal that you are going to serve at 4pm, ask them to come at 3 ‘cos you need to have a drink and get comfortable first…however, anyone who turned up later than 4 would receive short shrift from me and probably no meal as well!!!…
April 29th, 2004 at 8:56 pm Hey Doc, I read your comment at Yamfoot before I read this post and drew the conclusion that it was me you were talking about. Remember how Natty, MBJr. and I came late to your last dinner… I left a comment over there if you want to read it.
Now, I can’t speak for your father’s bredrin, but here is how I feel about the issue. First things first, nobody should wait dinner on anyone! I really believe that, having nearly passed out with hunger while waiting on people to arrive before food is served.
I agree with you, if you’re going to be late to dinner, call and say something. (I did call, by the way
). At the same time, sometimes things come up and you run late… its just a fact of life. If you take my advice and don’t wait the food, then no one has to get vex bout that!
In the same way that the person keeping the dinner might ben’ up him face and feel vex because the invitee reach late, the invitee who is late for unavoidable reasons, but who goes out of his way to come still will feel fe ben’ up his face when the dinnerkeeper gwaan so.
The thing is, the dinner is not that important… the real important part should be that you take some time out and hang together, IMHO!
Based on your post here, maybe is not me you had in mind… (maybe… You did gwaan kinda vex the night still…)
What I feel about this still stands. Don’t wait the dinner and everybody will feel better. If the invitee who reach late get vex true seh you never wait pon him, eff him. Nuh him did late. Better him vex than you anyway, a lie?
Anyway, I hope you don’t get vex bout my comment… after all, you supposed to pick me up at the airport tomorrw morning and I DON’T WANT YOU TO BE LATE!
April 29th, 2004 at 9:51 pm Bwoy, it look like guilt lick Mad Bull down here. I was speaking very generally, I wasn’t chatting ’bout you at all rudes….. (but I guess the cap is a perfect fit for you here) as you are not exactly Mr. On Time. Anyway, relax uself. And if you tink seh you know ’bout lateness, check Dr. Spanish!???
April 29th, 2004 at 10:18 pm I am afraid that I too have the Sixty Five curse of being late…although I have some how minimized it to being just under the wire when it comes to being on time. In fact the other day we actually got to an appointment about 10 minutes early and no one was more surprised that I was. Anyway, for MadBull and I - it is just in the genes.
April 29th, 2004 at 11:52 pm I have some pretty strong opinions on this, Doc. At our house no one eats till everyone is at the table, and dinner will not wait if anyone is late (unless stormy weather or other unavoidable delays. And although I welcome unexpected guests for lunch frequently, if I am planning a dinner for 10 or 20 guests, I don’t appreciate anyone bringing extra guests without prior notice, no matter how much food is on the stove. But my biggest beef is when someone orders up sides or condiments that are not on the table - stuff like fresh lemon, honey mustard, or coke rather than the punch I have made. When guests want to ‘order up special condiments or extras’, the restaurant is where they should be eating…not at my place.
April 30th, 2004 at 12:15 am at our family functions, we give people a reasonable time to come (about 30 -45 mins) then we serve. who come after help themselves. but re the dress thing, that is just not on. I can see my father at the post mortem (they always do this after functions…sit down and talk about things that happen at the function) criticizing that big time.
April 30th, 2004 at 2:09 am I don’t have invited guests too often, but when I do it is for a specific time, and I’ll leave a bit of leeway, but when the food is ready it is on. If someone should be terribly late without a phone call I don’t know what they’d get when they arrived, as this hasn’t happened, but maybe just a peanut butter sandwich would do, especially if they were invited for a specific time. I don’t do well with un-expected add-ons either, as I usually cook according to the number of people present. I do at times go for a sudden invite of a friend of one of my son’s, depending on the supper - and my mood.
April 30th, 2004 at 7:30 am Hey, thanks for the comments everyone. Desiree, I would never like to be late for dinner at your place….peanut butter does not rate highly as a dinner for this dude.
April 30th, 2004 at 9:31 am LOL… well, use your watch man!
April 30th, 2004 at 9:53 pm That’s interesting Dr. D because what you describe is the same for some of the Native American population here in the states. Time is *very* relative! We call it “Indian time”.