Manners
In my tour of duty I have realized that culture has a big impact on the way we interact with other people. Specifically with regard to the granting of ‘favours’ and the use of money.
Now with regard to the favours bit – I have seen where Jamaicans as a whole are a fairly courteous bunch. We may not be big on the human rights thing, but we have a healthy respect for each other – (or we might get 
)! Seriously though, when driving, we does give “bligh”, keep spaces and give ‘skips’ in lines, and generally good at acknowledging someone when you enter into their space (personal or otherwise). (“yes my bredren”)
Much to my despair, this does not obtain in all places….now, although I, as a Princess, realize that the chivalry thing is practically dead, I still expect civility – after all, it is literally (and phonetically) the base of civilization, a.k.a. society.
I realize that some places are different – but what happens when we put 2 Jamaicans together in a different place? We supposedly act towards each other in the same way we act at home?….well, it depends.
I have proven yet again, that once you go to the Diaspora for too long, you start to change. You forget the way we would think about each other at home. It changes from “how you keeping” to “what can I get?” 
Now the thing about being away from Yard, is that when you see another Yardie you look out for each other. No matter your social status, you can relate to each other – for all we navel string bury unda de same stew peas/curry goat/ackee etc. tree. Oh, I rambling.. back to the favours bit.
So, far from home you help another Yardie ….who asks for help that you would hesitate to give some of your own family – but you far from Yard, and you know you would appreciate the same level of assistance. And de “tanks”? Well, if you get any at all, it is an invitation to dinner perhaps…where after you eat your belly full, the bill arrives and you are told what your equal portion is, including service charge and the mandatory tip (tenk goodness fah credit card!) Now, if you inviting me to go “dutch” please let me know in advance – for then I would choose my company far more carefully!!!
I tell you, too long in the first world does harden your heart. No longer do people send a thank you card, bring little gifts for the hostess when you have dinner parties, or even call or e-mail to say thanks. Gentility and manners are just totally gone through the window! This is not a bourgeois thing to do – when Granny in de country did visit she fren dem, she would a never walk wid she 2 long hand! 2 mangoes or a slice of sweet potato pudding, or a K.C. Icy Mint to ra$$! Dat is where we did learn these tings, and now so many living so far from Granny, dem forget!
This is a thing that I will sorely miss and will deeply regret its passing. Being genteel is not “old fashioned” or stodgy – it is merely being civilized, and is the one thing that separates us from our primate cousins.
August 8th, 2004 at 9:05 pm You know Princess, you make a very valid point. Being away from Yard for so long has changed me a lot, with respect to how I interact with people. Back in yard, me and a girl go out, you not checking the girl, is just you sistren…no big deal for me to pick up the bill, it’s just the right thing to do (grow wid Granny)…if I don’t have enough money, I would rather to see the lady eat and me do without [like I say, is not check a checking her]–is just so it go. In the US, the same behavior will result in women thinking that you’re being “too pushy” or you “want repayment [in kind] for the meal”. What is a brother to do? Well, I’ve come to the point where I decide that I will bury my chivalrous behavior until I go to a place where the women appreciate a chivalrous gentleman–after all, when in Rome do as the Romans do [though when they were coming up with that saying, they’d never seen a Jamaican there before…cause we do what we please!]. {arf,arf}
August 8th, 2004 at 9:36 pm Princess P….is which man ask you out to dinner and den expect you fe pay! Mokoot! I’m much like the Dawg above (two Jamaican man)…if me and a sistren go eat a food, I am still and will always be a man…nutten fe pay a bill. One of mi female colleagues and I go eat lunch together regularly and we alternate the bill. As to the way how yardies interact inna foreign. A nuh all o dem treat we like we is we own. And, a nuh all yardie u too waan embrace still…. See me inna Central London one Sunday afternoon on the banks of the dutty nasty River Thames. I see three Lexus GS 300 park up. Dancehall rhythms bussing out, cyar dem a vibrate, all four doors open! Bout 9 Dance hall divas wid wigs in all sicadelic colours (I never owned a digital camera then…would make excellent blog fodder now), neon green, blonde, shocking pink, purple, pants wid large holes and nuff flesh exposed (dem not nuh slimmas). The men, ring pon every finga, head have Nike carve out, nuff gold teet. And of course, dem is cussing the fabric. Well, you done know who suddenly is not a Blue Passport holder (new one dem maroon now nuh?) Please don’t get me wrong….I embrace Jamdown, but a nuh everyting bout we that me proud of. Caan tek de low class behaviour at all. I found too that while in the UK. lots of yardies who been there long time and ent doing so well (have never been able to afford a trip back to yard in the years they left for example) or not in no great job and ting (if dem working at all and not living on ‘Dole’) were a bit standoffish when they heard that I was doctor from yard. Some were on their guard instantly. Anyhow, I did also meet up with decent folk who treated me nicely. And when I yearned for sounds of Ja, jus go Brixton market, or the shop in Elephant and Castle where I used to buy mi pumpkin and okra for soup. Claats abound. Last but not least, I will give you the score about mi first haircut in London. Went to give the yardie barber inna Brixton the business…3 pound 50p fe de cut. While I’m waiting, I looking round at the clientele. Everybody getting dem Nike or whatever cut out a dem headback. Me nuh seh nutten to de yute seh me come from yard. When my turn come…..”Your toime mate!” So me seh, “Yow is Jamdown me come from!” Yute look pon me inna shock. So, me seh well I would like to get a haircut. Him still a look pon me in shock. “Well you nuh baass, a long time since me cut dem kinda quality head deh you nuh!” (Doc hair sorta straight.) Alrighty then. Off to the Italian man down the road who charges 6 pound for the service! Last but not least, nuh fret, chivalry may be scarce, but its still alive. When you reach yard, Doc suppose fe can foot a drink/dinner bill for Royalty. Afta all. Nice post. Sorry ’bout the epistle, but let’s say you got me going!
August 9th, 2004 at 9:39 pm Jamdown have nice people and Jamdown have some real renegades. Of course, when you go away, you will buck up on the good ones and the bad ones…Since I’ve been here, I lost some important documents (very important). Oonoo know how me absent-minded? Well, me put the papers on the roof of the car, walked to the garbage bin and threw out some garbage, then jumped into the car and drove off… with the papers still pod de roof of the car! Of course, they scattered hither and thither, and were no where in sight by the time I realised and returned to look for them!One Yardie woman found my stuff and did the necessaries to get them back to me. The man that she asked to call me suggested that I should give her a “gift”, but to be honest, I don’t know that she was expecting any still. Such were the nature of the documents that she could have made a reasonable money off of them still, but she chose to get them back to me. She is one of the good ones…Saturday gone, we went to the Fosters Supermarket by the airport… nuff yardie shop there. Well, we walking around, buying our stuff when Natty went to pick up some grapes. You know that she buck up a woman and her daughter who buss open a pack of grapes and were stealing them and eating them on the sly in the store, and they didn’t give a ra$$ that she had seen them! They just looked at her and continued eating… Those #$%@! just give the rest of us bad name, Iya! Me cyah tek them!Anyway, there be good and bad ones, and unfortunately, sometimes I think that the bad ones are multiplying more rapidly than the good ones! Therein lies the root of many of our nation’s problems.
August 9th, 2004 at 11:58 pm Well, its no excuse for the locals, but I have seen people in the US a tief and eat grapes inna supermarket too. So, MB head still space out!?
August 10th, 2004 at 9:42 am Actually, they did seem as if it bothered them that i saw.
August 10th, 2004 at 11:48 am I agree with a lot of the above. However, I think that the bad situations get more air time than the good situation. As said, there are good and bad people everywhere, I have taught all my kidlets to be polite. To open doors for the elderly or infirmed and generally to be kind and considerate of everyone. Needless to say, in the teenage years, some of these traits get slightly waylaid, however, for the most part i am proud to say that my children are polite, kind children. Let us continue to bring our young ones up to be considerate, kind people y’all!!!
August 13th, 2004 at 6:02 pm Very good point Princess. I attended a conference in Philly a year ago and one speaker, a hostess on “The View” admonished us to bring up our kids to “bring more to the table than an appetite”. She mentioned that same thing about not going to someones house empty handed. I try to instill this in my two….I try and try and still trying.
August 15th, 2004 at 10:21 am I say “heh heh” to this one and of course my point is one must offer, and let the offer be turned down. as for the dinner bit, i only go out with a group i don’t know very well, if i am cashy, cause you don’t know how the group behaves normally…ie what are the group norms. And I usually divide up the bill, I normally commandeer it and to the math (maths brains from primary school ) but yes, lack of broughtupsy is a bummer.
August 15th, 2004 at 4:51 pm To sum it up…as dem seh in Ja. “Some people doh come off a good table!” Manners, courtesy and the like are not taught in school or university. If you don’t know it from when you deh a you Daddy and Mummy knee, you not going know it when you turn big smady! Awoah. Argument done.