Contradictions
God as my witness, I can’t really recall where I first posted this… But tonight as I was wading through blogland, and pondering the reason for my compulsion to be kind, i clicked on this email I had saved on my last birthday - which was a total bust, btw…, and here came the answers pouring forth:
Nibbs – the Lion
An African friend of mine told me a couple of weeks ago,
“You are the daughter of a lion”.
Now to be honest, he wasn’t really referring to my Dad, but since then, I’ve been thinking alot about his comment, specifically in reference to my Dad.
You see, Dad, a.k.a Sixty-Five, was truly a lion of a man.
Along with our mom, he raised seven kids - faced the joys and sorrows of parenthood with all of the challenges life can possibly throw at you - and through it all, he always taught us to be kind to others and to look out for those less fortunate than ourselves - no matter how tight money may have been at a time, he always gave to those who were down on their luck. I remember him telling me once, “If someone tells you they’re hungry, you have to help!”
He taught us that in every circumstance, joy and laughter prevail. He taught us that your family is the most important possession in the world. He taught us to be fearful of God, and he tried to teach us all to practice the faith they raised us to have - even if we all grew to be stubborn on this at some point in our lives…
He taught us how to pick ourselves up and keep going, no matter what, and he taught us to smile and laugh in the face of everything - it always makes things better if you smile…
He was one of the most loving and devoted husbands/fathers I have ever known - we were his world! Literally…
Being the child of a lion like our dad comes with a certain responsibility. We strive to be truly good people, because he taught us that way of living… he taught us to really consider right and wrong, and to consider the impact of our own actions on others… he taught us to be loyal and faithful, loving and generous, caring and compassionate - if I make him sound like a hero - he was mine!
I still feel sad about losing my Dad, because I miss him so much - he and my Mom are the foundation of who I am - they are the foundation of why people think I’m friendly or kind or always smiling or always willing to drop my own pursuits to help - because its how he taught me to be - so I cry.. I feel joy that he is free now to enjoy the fruits of a life well-lived… but I cry… I miss him alot.
And whenever, I feel worried, stressed or concerned, whenever I’m conquering one of my fears, I feel him there… smiling; proud; holding my hand. I can talk to him still, but I can’t hear him respond, I know he’ll love me for all eternity, as I will him - but its still hard, y’know… he’s my Dad!
Q & A time - there’s MORE…
Okay, I type through the tears - time does not make me miss my Dad less, it helps me pretend more!
But my question is this… is the way we are - the jumping to help, to be fair, to be good and kind - is it a strength or a weakness?
Why do the wicked seem to win and the good seem to suffer?
How many times do you hear people say, “He was a blessed man - he deserved his good life.” (or some variation thereof) or
How many times do you hear it said, “He was a good man - there’s a special place in heaven for him”.
The bible does teach that the way to heaven is not through a good life here on earth, but that through suffering here for Christ we will achieve everlasting life - but doesn’t that contradict human nature directly?
I mean, isn’t it our nature to be ‘here and now’? And if it sucks here, who aspires to everlasting life - an everlasting life of what????
Having grown up with deeply spiritual parents, I feel a real fear of questioning God, but the core of me asks these questions… what’s up with the contradiction of life itself?
October 28th, 2004 at 10:30 am WOW-Seven-you are one of those evolved souls. Nice. What lovely memories you have of your father. Me and yu could talk fe hours on this subject of spirituality, and your questions regarding the contradictions of life? First of all, I don’t go to church. I don’t believe in organized religion. However, I do believe in a God and I would like to call my self a spiritualist. To put it in a nutshell, I feel that God exists in us. I would like to call God our 6th sense. You know, that inner voice we hear at times. I know now through regular meditation and prayer, that inner voice can ring so loud and clear. I believe that Heaven and Hell is the life we create for ourselves on earth. I dont’ feel anything that happens in our lives is a coincidence but opportunities if we can see it. My belief is good karma makes way for good karma. Don’t worry about the wikid for life will take care of them better than we could. I’ll leave you with this- “When we live in love, we bring the Kingdom of Heaven on Earth” Peace!
October 28th, 2004 at 10:53 am Seven, I remember when you first posted this blog. 1. I believe that my NEED to be kind, to see or try to see the good in each person that I meet, to be happy and to share this happiness with others to be a personal STRENGTH. Occasionally, (some times more than occasionally) it may appear that it weakens us, but I believe it to be an overall strenght. 2. The wicked only SEEM to win…they are probably better at hidding the weaknesses in their lives. Maybe it is just that they don’t wear their weaknesses on their shoulders (so to speak). Like Sunshine, I believe that what you put out there into the world, comes right back at you. Sometimes, it may seem to be in a form different to what you expected it to be in, but if you look closely enough you will find it. (Sometimes you may need to look for years. ) 3. I truly have no answer to this one. I am at a stage in my religious life that I can only call “disillusionment”. This started when our Father died. He was indeed a very good man, who had given of himself each and every day. We saw it daily within the family, but many people outside of the family saw it daily too. Yet, he did not have riches or particularly good fortune, or what we think of good fortune, throughout his life. Although I do believe in God and I would like my life to be celebrated in our childhood religion at its end, sometimes I wonder if this whole religion thing is not just a “comfort for fools” in the grand scheme of things. This could be why I have decided, unconciously at first, not to worry about the ever after, but to live each day in an effort to bring some comfort to others in whatever way that may be. Of course, some days I am the one in need of the most comfort, but that is only being human. On those days I try not to spread my anxieties too far into my daily world - you know, as few negative thoughts as possible. I believe I may be rambling now, but I hope someone out there understands at least some of this.
October 28th, 2004 at 11:19 pm Aaah Seven. Take heart my dear. As much as you miss and cannot see or hear him, Sixty Five is right in your midst, just as my Mother is also……. Sorry, I have to admit that I had to pause after I typed that last line as the screen suddenly became very blurred! I really don’t feel that evil ever wins. Good prevails and should come out on top. Perhaps we may not get the rewards for trying to help, do good etc here in this life. As sweet as this one can be, remember, we do as children of God aspire to one that is supposed to be ever so sweet. Hush Seven…we all go through loss of loved ones and it is never an easy road to travel.
October 28th, 2004 at 11:49 pm Hi Seven, Very good post I have to say. It’s great to have memories of those who came before us. Your dad reminds me much of my grandfather, a very strong man indeed. May God rest his soul and may we live to bear the memories of those who came before us just as they did for those who came before them. {arf,arf}
October 29th, 2004 at 12:08 pm >> Is the way we are (kind, helpful, caring, etc.) a strength or a weakness? Well, if you believe in karma or God or were just brought up to believe that being that way is right/good for society/etc., then being that way would be seen as a strength. If you are selfish, wicked, etc, then you might not see having these attributes as a good thing. The way you see these attributes all depends on what you believe. In the final analysis, though, what we believe isn’t important. if what we believe (i.e. in God) is true, you better believe that being that way would be a strength. >> Why do the wicked win and the good suffer? Well, what happens here on Earth stays on Earth. God created us, and at one time, it seems He used to move more upon the Earth, and take more of an interest. I guess we humans got a bit boring though, or maybe He just has more interesting projects nowadays, so he laid out some ground rules and he left us on our own. In the end, we will face judgement and then we will see the wheat separated from the chaff, yuh simi? I guess what I’m saying is the wicked may prosper, but that will only happen here on Earth. In the end, it will be as put forward in the Beatitudes… “The poor shall inherit the earth” (or was that the meek?) and other stuff like that… Of course, for you to console yourself with that explanation, then you have to believe in God and in what the Bible has to say though. It is probably best for you that you do take this approach, because there isn’t much you can do to fight the wicked here on Earth, and if you don’t take that approach, you will get depressed, and depression sucks. >> Doesn’t this approach contradict human nature directly Well, didn’t Eve nyam the apple, and didn’t she tempt Adam to nyam it too? So that introduced sin into the world. Now we humans have all these base desires. We are inherently selfish, lustful, greedy, wicked beings, but we are called upon to try to rise above that. Life is just a test. Try to pass it, thats all! Awoah! Hope this helped!
October 30th, 2004 at 12:56 am Very interesting… At the end of the day, the things we are taught through our formulative years still lead us to believe in the ultimate triumph of good over evil. Hmmmm…. First off, Sunshine, I gotta tell you that the foundation of my spirituality comes from my parents -they are strict Roman Catholics and raised us in the Church. Yeahhhh, MB was an altar boy and I served on the altar beside him many, many times as altar girl ! Yet as we grew up, we each, in my family, went our own way spiritually - some drew closer to the Church, and some took different paths… But the one thing that is absolute in each of us is that core belief in God - in our own way, we all subscribe to that! For me, I kind of got angry with God after my Dad died! I have made no attempt to go to Church beyond Fathers’ Day - and then, its as a tribute to what I know my Dad would want. At the same time, my soul is aching for a closer spiritual relationship - and I am very willing to consider other thoughts, churches, ideas, etc. I believe that God has the absolute power to save a drowning man - but for some reason, though, He doesn’t always want to…. or maybe he does - the afterlife is the prize and we just can’t understand the extent till we get there! Who knows… the dead? Isn’t that some kind of backhanded prize? You know what’s funny… there’s a huge part of me that says a mental apology to God whenever I voice this kind of thought, as I was raised to believe ours is not to reason why… As to the strength vs. weakness issue - I’m still waiting for the truth to be revealed on this one! Something is wrong with the way I’ve always done things, so let me struggle - struggle against my inherent nature - to shake things up a little and report back to you after a week or two on this issue! Oh, and Sis, I understood you perfectly… its the very way I’m made up! and Bro - you always help! There’s alot more to be said and shared on this matter - I gotta tell you!.. Oh and thanks guys - I went today from blog to blog of us Caribbeaners especially - and all I saw was love… its a god/good thing!
October 30th, 2004 at 9:15 am Seven, I know what you mean…about being angry with God after Sixty Five’s passing. When Mummy left us, I wouldn’t say I was angry with Him, but I certainly did question why. Why her? As much as I wanted her to continue living, I realized that it would have been selfish and inhumane to wish her to continue in the state that she was in. Why could she not be cured and restored to her previous state of health? I guess it simply was not God’s will…which can be dam hard to swallow and digest at times. I have come to learn, that as mortal beings there is lots that we will not get the answer to here on Earth, and, if (for those of us who believe in it) we make it to the afterlife, there are no gurantees that we will when (and if) we get there either. You see, if God really is a Supreme Being, then why should we be able to understand all that happens or is under His control? There must be things that He can do to show us seh him bigga dan large! Nevertheless, I don’t want to ramble along with any great epistle here, but I do not feel that He becomes annoyed with us when we question why certain things in life happen. In doing so, what results is either a deeper understanding that we really are not fully in control, or for others it can possibly serve to distance them from Him. Hence, it may result in a strengthening or weakening of our faith. I see nothing wrong with you wishing to explore other churches, faiths etc. Catholicism was chosen for you by your parents, as it was for me. It does not necessarily make it right for you though. Keep searching if you need to, just don’t lose faith in the Almighty….whatever you want to call Him or Her….God, Jesus, Allah, Buddah. I think I will stop here, don’t want you all to feel that I have taken to preaching….I do enough in my line of work trying to get patient compliance.