Tower Of Babel

What a weekend with regard to the World Cup, huh?! I am writing this post while watching one of the games, actually… Ghana played some beautiful football on Saturday to put on a 2-0 beating on the Czech Republic. The Czech side that humbled the U.S. so recently looked like a shadow of itself! I was very pleased with the performance of the African nation. I hope they beat the U.S. when the two finally meet next week Thursday, bwoy! I want at least one African nation to go through to the second round and they are playing some beautiful ball, so…

The U.S. raised their game to hold the Italians to a one - all draw. Note, the U.S. didn’t score, Italy had to assist them in this regard, but the Americans kept the goals scored against them to only one and they did pepper the Italian goal with a number of good shots! Good game, U.S.A.! As for Italy, them want some shot!

Hey, I am not an Italy fan! (not when it comes to football! Some of the female fans in the stands now… thats a different proposition all together! )

I hope the Czechs beat the Italian’s ass on Thursday as well!

And what do you all think of the refereeing in this World Cup? Ok, the referees are just implementing the decisions of FIFA, but whats up with all this issuing of yellow cards? Yow, I see some perfectly normal looking tackles being referred to as fouls and yellow cards are being issued for them… its almost as if they are saying you can’t tackle a man for the ball at all! Whats up with that?! This isn’t basketball, this is football! Ah wah wrong wid dem! Cho man! ABC just had up some statistics: over 120 yellow cards and several (was it 8, cyah remember how much) red cards have been issued already!

And I think this has been a World Cup with very little really nasty play.

Hey, in the half time I couldn’t bother to listen to those American commentators analysing and carrying on and on over what the U.S.A. has to do to make the second round, so I switched channels to Hype TV! I watched this video of a song by a Dee Jay called “General B”, its called “Wine Up You Body”. What a lot of EXTREME ENERGY in the wines the ladies in the video were putting down! They were putting on some ‘dutty wine’ style, mah peeps! It was nice to watch, but truthfully, if a girl was wining on me like that during the real act, I would have to issue her a yellow card, rasta! No bwoy, those moves are too energetic! They could result in the tool getting bent out of shape at the least (quite painful! Trust me, I know!) and in a broken penis at the worst! If the girl continued with the rough stuff after my initial warning, I would have to send her off, star! Dem ting deh can result in permanent damage! Anyway, as I said, the video was nice to watch. Took my mind off of football for awhile, you know… Thank God for Hype TV!

Hey, Brazil have beaten Australia 2-0, but they really didn’t play as well as they could have, IMHO. People, the bredrin ting has to stop. Ronaldo needs to be benched from today forward, IMHO. Start Robinho instead. Yeah, Roberto did set up the first goal, but he was playing like only half a man! Why put 10.5 men on the field when you can put on 11, you simi? On top of that, though, Australia put a lot of shots near to the Brazillean goal, too much if you ask me. Hey, Brazil could have been taking the ball out of the back of their net on at least two occasions, and its just luck why they didn’ have that happen. Some tightening up is necessary or some hotshot team will bore up dem nahni (score plenty goals upon them) in the second round! Ok, I done talk!

Enough World Cup chat! Have a couple of jokes on me… here is the first one.

The Deaf Bookkeeper

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has screwed him out of ten million bucks; his bookkeeper is deaf. It was considered an occupational benefit, and the reason he got the job in the first place, since it was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not be able to hear anything that he’d ever have to testify about in court.

When the Godfather goes to shakedown the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million bucks, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language.

The Godfather asks the bookkeeper: “Where is the 10 million bucks you embezzled from me?”

The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the 10 million bucks is hidden. The bookkeeper signs back: “I don’t know what you are talking about.” The attorney tells the Godfather: “He says he doesn’t know what you’re
talking about.”.

That’s when the Godfather pulls out a 9 mm! pistol , puts it to the bookkeepers temple, cocks it, and says: “! Ask him again!”. The attorney signs to the underling: “He’ll kill you for sure if you don’t tell him!”. The bookkeeper signs back: “OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo’s backyard in Queens!”.

The Godfather asks the attorney: “Well, what’d he say?”. The attorney replies: “He says you don’t have the balls to pull the trigger.”

Heh heh heh heh… what a man wikid doh, eeeh? Still, maybe I would have done the same thing! What about you?

While you ponder that question, gwaan prips the second joke nuh…

“An Empty Seat… At the World Cup Final?”

A man has tickets for the World Cup final. After he has been sitting in his seat for a few minutes, the man in the seat behind him taps him on the shoulder and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him.

“No,” he says. “The seat is empty.”.

“Absolutely incredible!” said the man. “Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the World Cup Final, the greatest sporting event in the world, and not use it?”.

“Well actually,” he says, “the seat belonged to my Wife. She was supposed to come with me but she passed away. This is the first World Cup final we haven’t been to together since we got married.”.

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” replies the man. “That’s terrible. But couldn’t you find someone else to take the seat? A friend or relative, or even a neighbour?”.

The man shakes his head “No, they’re all at the Funeral.”

OMG!!! What a man mad! Still, it is the World Cup Final! Wah fi do? Happy Father’s Day, folks!

This entry was posted on Sunday, June 18th, 2006 at 2:30 pm and is filed under Entertaining. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.