Tower Of Babel

A Jamaican lady pregnant with twins was in a car accident and went into a coma. During the coma she gave birth to twins, a boy and a girl.
Some time later when she awoke from the coma, she was told that she had given birth and that her brother had been nice enough to name them.
The mother was extremely upset to hear this. She told the nurse that they never should have let her brother name the children because he was an idiot from the country.
The nurse assured her that he had done rather well; he named the little girl “Denise”. The mother seemed to be okay with that, so she asked what he had named her son. The nurse replied, “Denephew”.

This one comes your way courtesy of the Chocolate Lover. In payment, check out the sistren’s site nuh… I don’t really like leaving you without anything from me personally, so I decided to give you my answers to last Fridays’ Friday Feast.

Appetizer
If you could take lessons to learn any musical instrument, which would you want to learn?
I was going to say a drum machine, but after careful consideration, I think I will go with the steel drum.

Soup
Have you ever mistaken a person for someone else?
Uh huh. More than once, actually. Yes, I am human
The worst one probably was when I went to visit my girllfriend one time. She always used to wear these short shorts and sit on the couch in the living room. Anyway, on the day in question, I came through the fron door and there she was, in her short shorts and sitting on the couch waiting on me to arrive. Seems like while she was waiting, she had fallen asleep. I decided to creep up to her quietly and awaken her with a long, lusty, very wet, kiss. I bent at the hips and turned my face sideways as I moved down to kiss her awake. As I was moving in for the kill, (seriously, I was about four inches away from contact, I realised that this was not my girlfriend, but her mom! Man, I backpedalled so fast I nearly fell on my ass!

Yeah, she and her mom looked a lot alike and they were shaped alike too, trust me! :thumbsup:

Salad
On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how well do you keep secrets?
Maybe I am a seven… still, if I feel it is really worthy of being a secret, if anybody finds out is not me! Ah mus’ you, because I not telling NOBAHDEE!!!

Main Course
What’s the closest you’ve ever been to a dangerous animal?
Well, I have stood up right next to a lion, but it was behind some really thick glass (at Busch Gardens), so that doesn’t count. Hmmm… Well, if you accept that pit bulls are dangerous, I have stood beside several… I have even patted a couple.

Dessert
When was the last time you lost your patience?
Probably too long ago… it was Christmas 2005, actually. I blew up on a security guard at the airport who passed his place with me. When he then told me that he wouldn’t let me board the flight, I told him that if I didn’t board the flight, NOBODY was going to board it! I was ready to attack the man, rasta… Lucky for me the Air Jamaica Customer Service Manager overruled him. (He knew I was in the right) I am glad still, because if he hadn’t intervened, the best I could hope for was that I’d have missed my flight, and the worst was a short stay in Northward Prison, so…
Still I fear that another eruption of impatience, anger, rage and truculence is near… its bubbling up, just below the surface, like molten lava… who knows when the pressure will get the better of me? Who knows who will be the victim? Who knows if we’ll both survive?

This entry was posted on Sunday, January 28th, 2007 at 10:12 pm and is filed under Funny. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.