Now here is an interesting tidbit. I went to Yahoo.com this morning and noticed that “Rastafarian Religion” is among the top searches for the day! I’m not sure why that would be, but I am wondering if Zahra Redwood (Miss Jamaica Universe) had something to do with it? I mean, what else is going on in the Rastafarian community right now to have generated such interest? What do you think?
So, I got up early this morning, 5:45 AM, and switched off the outside lights. Went back to bed after holding a long leak with the intention to sleep only for another fifteen minutes, as I had plans to wash the Accord before heading out to work. The colour of the car (navy blue) shows up dust and dirt very easily. It was last washed on Thursday, but rain fell that afternoon, so you know how it go. In addition, some bird seemed to feel that my new wheels was the perfect place to leggo a shit. I’da like shot the feathered crapper if I could positively ID it! 
So, got back up at 6:05, brushed teet and headed to the kitchen, looking for the bunch of keys to open the store room where the car wash liquid and big fluffy sponge that is used to wash the car is locked up. Well, me look, and me look, ’till me all start cuss unda mi breath….all now me nuh see nuh keys. I will have to ask my housekeeper weh she do wid de key when she reach dis mawnin.
So, I woke up early with a plan in mind, but dat one get frig. Eventually, decided to chill in front of my fish tank with my cuppa tea, spending about fifteen minutes of quality time….it is cool out on the patio at that hour, watching the fish is relaxing, and of course, man deh inna him favourite next to nutten garb. Could easily not go to work today, but then again, that might be a bit too greedy as tomorrow is Labour Day, so a holiday in the middle of the week. Of course, it would have been sweeter if it was a Monday or Friday, adding some length to the weekend, but I still thankful for the day from work. I know I WILL NOT be labouring. A later than usual wake is on the agenda. In fact, tonight some of the crew from my high school class are to pass chru the yard for some spirit. (Scratchie, if you read dis you welcome to reach!) We will be having a brunch in order to raise a likkle funds for charity on July 1st. I was put in charge of arranging the printing of the tickets (which yours truly designed using MS Word). I am to collect them during lunch time. So, distribution begins tonight. I may well lick street after dem bwoy leave the yard with my bredrin (cousin) Jamdown Canadian, who goin reach the lime also.
Apart from that, I jus here a fart round and pass some time, as this is a bit earlier than usual for me. Better go look after some breakfast now still…… So until next time……over and out.
Ok, Ok, ok… I am building a lyric for a song… trust me, this one will make me BUSS (become famous) like Weird Al Yankovic… This is the beat I am going to use…
Ok, here are my lyrics! Run di track!
“Awww, this is the way I fart,
When I fart, people say “Pussy Clart!”,
What the PHUCK is that SMELL?
It smells like it comes from HELL!!!
Awwww, this is the way I… ” Ok jump in now!
Trust me, I just know this one is destined for the top! I will share the money with you, just help me build this one, cool?
By the way, this post was sponsored by Absolut & Ocean Spray, otherwise known as Vodka and Cranberry juice… Peace out…
Up to about week before last Friday (say about the 4th of May) we were having a wicked dry spell here in Cayman. Then that Saturday, there was a veritable cloudburst and just like that, BRAPS, we were in the rainy season! Since then, it has rained just about everyday!
I am glad for the rain because I was beginning to wonder if all the plants would die and if the place would catch afire like what was happening up to recently in Tampa. Now that no longer looks likely. Right now, MBJr. has asked me to take him to the beach but its raining, so that plan is on hold.
Instead, I have been here in front of the computer. I am supposed to do some work on a couple of websites for some people over the weekend, but so far, I haven’t done as much as I would have hoped. Why? Well, I am easily distracted. Today my distraction came in the form of Wordpress Version 2.2!
Yup, Version 2.2 has been released and it contains many bug fixes and some interesting new functionality, so you know I was chomping at the bit about installing it!
Well, I have just upgraded the Tower to the latest version of Wordpress! I will fool around with this software at the Tower for a day or two and then if all is still going well, I will upgrade the Mad Bull’s Blog too. Anyway, the upgrade to the Tower is done, so maybe I should go look at the stuff I have to do re those websites… 
TTYL…
Hail up. A shortish post while I finish my breakfast…..ok, you want to know wah me a nyam? Two slices of multi grain bread with cheddar cheese, two slices of paw paw (papaya), an otaheite (nuh how how de ra$$ dat suppose to spell) and some ortanique juice. My vitamins will top it off, and after a visit to the boyz room (will spare you all the details of that), I should be good to go for work.
Now what is up with the title? Well, being a male you might be wondering yourslef….. After all, being the ones with the ’spare parts’, we dudes usually are the ones doing the jooking…nuh true? Well, guess what? Get your mind outta de gutter…a nuh dat me a talk bout! So, what den?
Let me share a short one with you. Monday night gone, I was on the patio. It was about 10PM, and I was in my ‘man o yard’ garb…(AKA boxers). There I was pretty relaxed with a rum and coconut water sipping, while doing some reading on the patio in a comfortable chair. All of a sudden, out of the blue, I felt as if a prickle had stuck me in my right leg……didn’t feel very hot, but it did get me distracted enough and had me looking at the chair to see what could have caused that. After about a minute, the feeling had more or less subsided and I found nutten, so I passed it off as ….well, nutten. Went back to reading and sipped some more of the goodly VX and coconut water. ‘Bout two minutes later I felt as if an injection needle had been jabbed into my foot again……. rassclaat!! I tell you, I cuss some heap o bad wud. Held on to my leg in distress and then saw the likkle shyte of an arthropod that was responsible for my pain! Of course, I must have killed the damn wasp about fifteen times! Turns out the wretched thing with wings and and a sting, was building a nest beneath the chair, and I suppose my leg was friggin up his plans. Anyhow, my leg got all whealed up, red, swollen and hot. I had to doctor it myself and is only since last night that things more or less returning to normal. I tell you, I have been stung by bees before, but I think this is my first close encounter with a wasp. All I can say is try stay far from dem. So, overall, I ended up being on the receiving end of a most unpleasant jook! Personally, I prefer to do it the male way, and continue to be the jooker rather than the jookee! And, my jooks don’t cause pain either….strictly pleasure! 
Anyhow, in case you forgot, the weekend looms, its TGIF time. Enjoy it. And BTW, for the locals who may pass here…..what a rain sweet last night!
Bwoy, so many things have been happening in Jamaica recently and hardly any of my Yardie blogger bredrins have commented on any of it, they must be really busy…. There is always something going on to distract you from the poor economic performance! Here are just a couple of things I noticed (some quite late!):
I guess the biggest thing to buss in the newspaper was the story that the Scotland Yard investigators have said that Bob Woolmer died of heart failure, not manual strangulation! (actually, Stunner spoke out on this issue)
Wow! That makes the Yard police and the pathologist look especially bad! The Jamaica Constabulary Force has responded. They are sticking to their guns!
Who do I believe? Well, I find it hard to believe that the pathologist can’t tell when someone was strangled. If that is true, well, it is really awful. 
Still, I can’t believe that! Maybe the police could have made an error, but I don’t think the pathologist would make such a big boo boo… Something is rotten in this whole affair.
Next up that I thought was interesting was the story of the public washing of dirty laundry between the Attorney General and the Supreme Court Judge.
Hey Yo! Whattup? Guess what? One of the non-Caribbean blogs I read is BACK! Yeah, I always found the Company Bitch to be an interesting read, but then recently, she made her blog a private blog! Now today I stopped by, just to see what was a gwaan, not really expecting anything, and I saw that she has opened the blog back up to the public! I am really glad too, because I saw this little gem!
Overheard in New York: Office EditionDue to a bit of an emergency, I was in the office photocopying at 8pm last night.
Thankfully a co-worker was also there, with the important task of paper-clipping, and she was just as irritated as I was.
When two people are irritated about a work-related situation, the only thing to do is blame it on someone who isn’t there. Continue reading her post here…
I swear, she does write some interesting ish, man! 
Well, as I said, I been doing more reading that writing of late, but this ‘write’ has perhaps been stimulated by a ‘read’ over at Mad Bull’s site, as well as a personal experience of mine that took place early last week.
The Bull was showcasing a photo of Kingston’s waterfront that apparently another blogger had posted. Can’t say I recall ever checking the blogger’s site, not ’cause I have anything ‘gainst the individual, is just that since I not so prolific with this thing anymore, I not much into checking out new sites……. I kinda stick with what I know and like. And as a BTW, since I mention that, nuff of onoo mussi check seh man stop read and comment pon onoo site. Not really, what happen is that mi computer and blogger in particular (not my fav…always seems to be causing worries) seem to have issues. In many cases I can’t open comment boxes, can’t post comments or whatever…..furthermore, on many of the sites where I do get the comment box to open, dem people name blogger no longer seem to recognize my password. So the comment nuh get post, man get vex and cuss rass, and so it endeth……so, if you don’t see any words from me, it nuh necessarily follow seh me dash you weh. Maybe someone like MB can try to fix these ‘issues’ or I may need to call in a anodda bredrin with ‘tech’ skills (which I am not afraid to say I lack when it comes to these things called computers).
Anyhow, continuing….. MB was writing about the decay of downtown Kingston, which I agree in many ways is a big shame. Downtown Kingston did play a great part in the history making of this nation….and for that reason alone, we should try to preserve it. Mark you, it is not only in Ja. where there have been parts of cities that have decayed. However, in many other places (perhaps where there is more money) lots has been done to make good on the decay. Old delapidated buildings are demolished, and new ones replace them, economic growth is stimulated, and a transformation of sorts occurs.
There are efforts presently to restore the ‘down’ end of our city, but in many ways, I have to agree, the success seems to me, like a fart in the wind…here now, but gone in seconds…..for want of a better analogy. I have to agree again, criminal elements, fear of lawbiding citizens, an unwillingness to do business/invest expensive money in an area where one may reap limited rewards financially etc. are some factors that contribute to the seeming failure to resuscitate the dead or dying downtown. It would be nice if things could be turned around, but I don’t see it happening in the near future…….
The Bull also mentioned that he felt much safer in New Kingston…..and I do agree with him there, though personally, I would much rather do business on its outskirts, as it is just a headache to bob and weave through the traffic and finding a parking space during daytime hours is like hoping to find rocking horse manure!
Personally, my experiences with downtown ever since leaving the Blue and White of North Street in ‘81 have been very limited. Since then, I have had more than twenty years associated with the UWI, and and about another seventeen or so associated with its hospital.
Monday night of last week, I was called by one of our Nurses regarding a patient’s blood pressure……it was markedly elevated. Now, despite the fact that he was not admitted to our servce for this, we do have to look after it. Turns out that the man has been known to have ‘pressure’ for a long time, but has not taken any medcation for same for almost a week, and of course, like many of our true blue Jamaican patients, hadn’t a clue what he was taking for it (when he was being compliant)…..fellow thought that telling me ’bout ‘a likkle brown pill’ was providing me with a wealth of pharmaceutical knowledge. Needless to say, the pressure was so high, I had to be titrating it down using an intravenous antihypertensive….until he was within a safe range…….lest him go get a ’stroke’. While I am waiting to check on his pressure, I hear two gunshot buss in the distance, breaking the relative quiet of the night……it was ’bout 11:15 PM. About thirty seconds later, I hear the ‘reply’ ….three shot, but these sound like dem a leggo from a heavier gun. Eventually, things go quiet again. ‘Bout fifteen minutes later, I am dong a final check on the patient’s pressure and it is now satisfactory…..I am writing my notes in his docket and preparing to leave…..when all of a sudden, the REAL BLOODCLAAT deal start buss. Trus me, I actually jumped when I heard the first few leggo. This time, it sound like dem a buss right on the hospital compound…..and there was a true war going on lasting for about ten minutes. Trus me, nuff shot did fire. Eventually, it stopped….doh ask me if anybody did dead…I haven’t a clue and nutten was heard about it in the news next day. Of course, as dem seh, ‘coward man keep sound bone’….I delayed my departure to return home in order to draw cover for the night, hoping that I wouldn’t get called again. When the security guard was opening the gate to let me out into the parking area, he told me to be careful, ’cause de dutty bwoy dem a buss shot outta road!’ I told him I had heard, and that I would do my utmost best. Driving through the gate to exit, I see two Police cars guarding the exit and entrance gates of the hospital. The road otherwise in Papine was almost like a ghost town. I got home safely in about fifteen minutes (yeah, I did press out the cyar).
Long and short of it, is we need to continue to pray for Ja. Land We Love. We all can’t flee to ‘foreign’, for if we do, then the wrongdoers will have won the battle. This country belongs as much to me, as to any of its other decent citizens. Just remember, there is only one (or perhaps) two ways by which we can help to bring about change…. 1. By voting, 2. By being good role models for others to emulate. I can’t right now tell you that either P (referring to the JL and PN) is better, but I do feel that the present regime siddung too long inna de chair and is time fe dem fe get evicted! I think I going stop there. Post may seem at times disjointed, but it is truly from the heart of one Jamaican man who can easily love and hate this rass of a place (rass being used more as term of enderament here) at the same time. Time to flash and get ready to go see some private patient yaw! Blessings.
I like this song. It nice still. What oonoo think?
Timbaland - Give It To Me ft Nelly Furtado and Justin Timberlake
Yes, rasta, and the one Nelly Furtado looking sorta nice as well! 
Oh, and have you heard Rihanna’s latest? The one she did with Jay-Z - Umbrella? I love that! The other day Natty was telling me she didn’t like it, but I believe its grown on her. Me, I just got it from the start, know what I mean?
Well, like I had promised, my scarcity has continued, with me surfacing every now and again to write down a few words. I am sure some of you have concluded that I have given up dis bizniz, and in fact, I am almost there….much more reading than writing. I had a chat with Mad Bull, last week I think it was, and I told him that apart from not having the time to do this on a regular basis, I really am not getting outta blogging what I did previously. When I was ‘well into’ this thing I would post most days at least once, and in some cases, twice a day. I would leggo a post in the morning (making me late for work on a number of occasions) and then I would nyam my dinner in front of the compi, looking out for comments and then surfing through the sites that I would read regularly. Not so anymore……it really means nutten to me anymore when I haven’t written anything down for weeks. In fact, its a nice feeling if a day passes that I do not even press the power button for this machine (indeed, I am no geek/techie/computer addict…..whatever you waan call it). So, perhaps, like a volcano that has had its period when it would erupt on a regular basis, I think this site is entering a period of dormancy. Every now and again, there may be some stirring in the bowels, and a likkle suppem might let off, but not with any regularity or furor…..
Anyhow, with that preamble, I do have a likkel bit to share. When last did someone play a prank on you and you fell for it? Well, last Friday evening for me. I was finishing up clinic at the hospital (and I was also on call) when the cell rang. Now I did not recognize the number coming up on the screen and being on call, and it was about 4 in the afternoon, I answered in the usual professional way, in case this was a work related call…….”Hello, good afternoon….” I hear a male voice on the other end…..”Is this Doctor D?” I replied in the affirmative. “This is Michael, your patient……the one with the rash on him foot…..” (I am quite puzzled as I really don’t recall who this person is.) He continues…”The cream weh you gimme fe rub pon mi foot naw work…actually de rash a spread and get worse….” I say to him, “Sir, I do not recall who you are, where did I see you?” (I see patients in three places in town and one place in rural Ja.) He does not answer my question and continues…..”You see dis now, de man doh even memba him patient dem……is Michael dis man……” I again ask him the question, but he does not answer. He continues chatting about the rash on his foot and the cream and telling me his name again, by which time I have stopped speaking and am listening to him in silence……he then says….”Hello?” I say, “I am still here Sir, but I suspect that what you will need to do is to make another visit to see me so I can re-evaluate your situation….” He starts to laugh…. “Visit again? Den nuh more money dat?” At which time the laughter gets even more raucous as if he is ridiculing me. He then identifies himself……”Yow my yute……is Ranny dis man! But how you sound so cool and professional?” I had a good laugh myself and said to him, “You know is only cause I am in front of two of my female colleagues why I doh leggo some good claat pon you ra$$!” Anyhow, we chatted for a bit and he said he was sorry that he had not recorded the convo to play it back for the rest of the crew from my high school class. Yep, he caught me good with that one.
Any of you saw the boxing match with Mayweather and DeLa Hoya? I am a big boxing fan, but I didn’t see it as it seems HBO didn’t carry it Saturday gone. It was showing at Cuddyz, but I couldn’t bother to go there to see it, in fact that place lost it for me long ago…haven’t pushed that door in at least a year or maybe even more. Anyhow, after doing a likkle net searching yesterday I see where Mayweather won by split decision, and then promptly announced his retirement after…saying that he wants to spend more time with family and that professionally, he has nutten more to prove. I really didn’t have a favourite for the match, but if HBO shows it this weekend, I will probably tek it een. However, it is never the same when you watch a replay of a sporting event to me……nutten beats live action! (Tek dat any way you waan interpret it! )
Last night I was at my cousin Legal Aid having a few drinks. His wife Eye Doc was apparently having a friend over for drinks, so they roped me and few other crew members in. When I arrived, Legal Aid was upstairs showering, and Eye Doc opened the door to let me in. I was ushered ’round back where she and her friend were seated sipping on some Merlot. She gave me an intro to her friend, and MY MY!!!! I was a very interested man to rass…. (though I think I did pretty well to not show that I liked what I saw……) we shook hands and Eye Doc made the boo boo of introducing me as Dr. D….dermatologist. At which time I told the lass my first name….no need to provide the medical information at a time like this. Anyhow, we got to chatting a bit while Eye Doc had gone into the kitchen to get some snacks……eventually I fixed me an Absolut and coconut water……yes, I know its not popular, but its not bad tasting at all…..I really wasn’t in the mood for a heavy rum buzz with work to go to this morning. I found her easy to chat to, friendly and when she got up to go to the ladies room, I was even more interested when I saw the bady! Blurdcleat!!! Anyway, we did a bit more chatting and eventually two words slipped off her tongue that kinda got me…..”MY BOYFRIEND” Anyway, it came as no shock to me that a young woman like this would have a man on the scene. The night dragged on, jokes were told, lots of laughter shared etc. Eventually, of all of us gathered there she was the first to leave. I later asked Eye Doc when next she will be having her over as a guest, as I MUST be included on the list of invitees. Turns out a bredrin of mine knows the yute who is on the scene. So life go, but one never knows. I doh know if is mind over matter, but some of the questions she was asking seemed to be searching me out…….anyway, was still nice meeting her. Type of lady who looks great as a natural, she had absolutely no makeup on that I could see. I can imagine that she woulda look well wid a likkle colour on her face in the right places. Anyway….the search continues…..
Apart from that, not much going on but work and the regular limes, but for most peeps I know, that is the story of life…..so what to do. Tek it easy you hear.