Tower Of Babel

When O.J. Simpson was on trial, I got caught up in all the hoopla surrounding the case… or not… I mean, not in the hoopla, in the disgust which arose because the American media decided that nothing else mattered and that everyone everywhere should be subjected to the long drawn out case and all the boring bullshit that surrounded the whole thing. I think I was so happy when O.J. got off because I felt like that lawyer, O.J., black people and all the fed up watchers of television got a chance to thumb their noses at those T.V. bastards who decide what we watch.

Still, when O.J. wrote that book, “If I had done it” or whatever the phuck he called it, I felt nauseated. I felt like saying to him, “Pussy, you get weh by the skin of your teeth and then you did this?!” and then putting on some heavy slaps in his face. The man is a total pussy, he isn’t good enough to do… anything at all for me, rasta! Nothing at all!

So when I heard that the Goldmans had been awarded the rights to his book, I laughed. “Yes, you little fucker you! I hope you didn’t see a dime from that book! I hope you get totally broke and you end up on the streets! I hope it gets so bad for you that you end up in such a hole that even other homeless people are pissing on you as you lie there in the gutter, you shameless little bitch!”.

Miss World 2001, Agbani Darego has nice teeth. Apparently she likes Dobermans as well.

I wonder if she would like Jerk Pork? Hmmmm. :

This song would have been my theme song if it had been around back when I was about sixteen. Well, I was after the chicks, the bars, the mansions and the cars, but not the dope. Unfortunately I couldn’t sing and I didn’t want it enough to learn to play guitar, and so here I am, a poor, bruck pocket I.T. guy…. its so sad.

Yeah, thats how I felt at sixteen, and there is still a part of me that wishes that I could be living something like that, even after all these years, and even though another part of me whispers in my mind’s ear that I really wouldn’t enjoy that type of lifestyle at all.

It has been a number of years since then though, and time is passing rapidly too. You know, that line of thought has made me feel like sharing this joke about age with you, its a joke sent on by a bredrin in Jamaica about age. Check it out.

The Love Dress

A woman stopped by unannounced at her son’s house. She knocked on the door then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law laying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.

“What are you doing?” she asked. “I’m waiting for Mike to come home from work,” the daughter-in-law answered.

“But you’re naked!” the mother-in-law exclaimed. “This is my love dress,” the daughter-in-law explained. “Love dress? But you’re naked!”

“Mike loves me to wear this dress,” she explained. “It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can’t get enough of me.”

The mother-in-law left.

When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and then she laid on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive.

Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively. “What are you doing?” he asked. “This is my love dress,” she whispered, sensually. “Needs ironing,” he said.

“What’s for dinner?”.

I hope you enjoyed that. TTYL.

Though I-an-I am feeling a little out of sorts, it feels GREAT to be back home, you know. Sleeping in my owna bed, driving my owna cyar, doing shyte thats familiar. Sometimes you need to get away for a bit and sometimes you are just glad to be back. In honor of being back home in the Cayman Islands, I am going to run two local songs for you. the first is “Oh Land of Soft Fresh Breeses” (the National Song of the Cayman Islands), performed by “Abby” on CBR’s album, “Where I am from”, and then “Where I am From”, also from the same album. On the CD, the songs follow each other too, and as one finishes, the other one starts, and it sounds great to me. Personally, I would have made them into one track, if I knew how to. Anyone to help a brother out? Anyway, here are the tracks…

You know the saying - “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” - actually became the title of a book!!! Well, as a woman, I have to admit that there is a certain ‘vocabulary’ we women use and most guys don’t really comprehend it…

So I decided to give you guys a little help:

Nine words women use…

1.) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with “nothing” usually end in fire.

4.) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That’s Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you’re welcome.

8.) Whatever : Is a women’s way of saying F@!K YOU!

9.) Don’t worry about it, I got it : Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to #3.

Hope this helps…

A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung from the end of a
Pole, which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it,
While the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of
Water.

At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot
Arrived only half full.

For two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a
Half pots of water to his house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of
Its accomplishments — performing perfectly what it was designed to do.

The poor cracked pot was ashamed of its imperfection, and miserable that it
Accomplished only half of what it had been designed to do.

Perceiving itself to be a bitter failure, the cracked pot spoke to the water
Bearer one day on the way back from the stream. “I am ashamed of myself. I
Want to apologize to you for delivering only half of my load. Because the
Crack in my side causes water to leak out on the way back to your house,
You don’t get full value for your efforts,” the pot said.

The bearer replied to the pot, “Did you notice that there are flowers only
On your side of the path, not on the other pot’s side? That’s because when I
Learned of your flaw, I planted flower seeds on your side of the path. And,
Every day while we walk back from the stream, you have watered them. For two
Years, I have picked these beautiful flowers to decorate my table.

Without you being just the way you are, there would be no beauty to grace my
House.”

MORAL: Each of us has our own unique flaws. We are all cracked pots. But
It is the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very
Interesting and rewarding. You simply have to accept each person for what
He or she is, and look for the good in everyone. Blessed are the flexible,
For they shall not be bent out of shape. Remember to appreciate all the
Different people in your life.

Blessings to all my crackpot friends.

If you haven’t read the precurser to this post, start reading by going here first, please…

Well, all this introspection led me to see something that was once said to me - when I owned a store several years ago, I hired a trainer to come in and give Customer Service training to my staff, and I participated. At that time, they told me that they saw me as a “NURTURER”.

I realize that this is so true… I am a natural nurturer - its my first instinct… As such, I LOVE to help people. That leads me down a path to chaos at times, because I don’t know when to say NO - or HOW, sometimes!!! So, people, at times, take advantage of that aspect of my personality. Midas gets really annoyed with me about this, because it can really get ridiculous at times, and leave me frazzled, stressed, resentful (stupid, since I bring it on myself)…

But it also allows me to really make a contribution to the betterment of others - I’m not claiming to be Mother Teresa here; I don’t mean on a global level… I mean on an individual basis, I love to help new agents get started. I love to train…

This has led me to take on the role of Chairperson of our Career Development Committee - and I’m really excited about having an opportunity to help new agents get their careers off the ground - if I didn’t have that help when I started, who knows if I’d still be a Realtor today - much less a successful one!!! And I’ve learned that I really LOVE training - not teaching, in general, like high school or such, but training in career development. I can spend hours working on putting together a presentation that I hope will really help people develop and build success quickly!!!

I also realized that I love to help people I care about when they’re having problems… problems in their careers, their relationships, their finances - whatever it may be… I love to try to listen and to help them to learn the benefits of viewing things from the other person’s point of view, consider alternatives, pray, have faith… I love to close a day knowing that I helped someone - made a difference in their lives - made a Kingdom difference by showing that someone cares… that God cares and He Listens!!!

I remember hearing years ago that if you care more about helping a customer than you do about the income they represent, you’ll achieve success you cannot imagine! Well, I took that in, and really adopted it as my foundation for doing life and doing business with others… And you know what I’ve learned from that - IT’S SO TRUE!!!

The South Florida Real Estate market has made a sharp and dramatic shift from being a Sellers’ Market (where the Seller holds all the cards) to the reverse - a Buyers’ Market, where the buyer holds all the cards. Many realtors love this type of market, because the more a Seller recognises how much they need a Realtor, the more commission we can request.

For me, I see this market as being one that is so much tougher on the Seller, they’re making so much less money and at times, barely breaking even - that I keep my commission lower, and if I sell the house on my own without any cooperating realtor to split commissions with, I reduce the commission - I just think that’s fair - that’s how I’d like to be treated!!! Why should I make more than the seller nets out of their own property?

I know this is not a popular view in my profession and I certainly don’t mean to demean other Realtors who work the traditional way - it is a business after all, and they’re right to look at the bottom line!!! Its just my nature now to care more about my clients’ needs than about the money I can make from them - so its MY way - not necessarily the RIGHT way - just MY way!!!

Enough about that aspect of my life though - can you smell my obsession to my career?

I am also a person committed to achieving my full fitness potential… I have gone through so many periods where I’ve slacked off - but I really am committed to not just looking good, but to achieving greater levels of fitness and setting new challenges for myself! I thrive on accomplishment - so reaching a point where I’d run a marathon or something like that would be a HUGE accomplishment to me. But I have to work so much harder on this…

I am currently not living a truly balanced life… I work, work, work… I get up, and go to work! I come home (whenever I get done) and work some more. Midas works through the night these days doing currency trading, so I bring my laptop down by him and WORK till I actually fall asleep in the chair some nights!!!

Because of this, I’m trying to train my mind to feel no guilt if I need to go to the gym in the middle of the day - its a serious goal of mine, so I need to commit to doing it whenever I can - as long as I get it in! I need to train myself into thinking its okay to take a day off, relax by the pool. I need to TURN OFF THE COMPUTER at a set time each day!!!! I spend far too much time ‘meandering’ as Midas calls it…instead of relaxing, READING (one of my passions, which I never seem to do anymore)

I need to make some serious changes in my life too - there are things I’m really not happy with about myself… so I need to take my own advice and PRAY and HAVE FAITH!!!

But as I said - I am a work in progress - I like to think that I try to really be as honest with myself as I can be… I have some great friends who call me on it when I’m in denial - and I am SOOO grateful for them! But I do try to look at every situation and analyse it from all points of view - if I’m wrong, I want to and often am the first one to own up to it (even if its really hard)…

But I am only a work in progress… God is making so many changes in my perceptions, some are little subtle things, some are monumental!!! But each day, I grow… each day, I develop… Each day, I learn that in giving you have so much personal reward, and as a side benefit - a person committed to finding a way to give back to YOU!!!

I don’t really know WHY I felt the need to share all this… nor do I know why it should interest you in the least… I guess I’m just rambling about stuff on my mind!!!

But if there’s some little point in here that touches you, interests you, motivates you or awakens you - hey: Let me know… You’ll make me go to sleep feeling better… feeling that I made a difference to someone - and that’s really what its all about for me!!!

The firework show for Weston is now starting - Midas and I don’t go the city park to watch, because its always such a crowd and a hassle to even get in - PLUS we can see the full show from our back patio!!! So off we go to take some champagne and sit out to watch the fireworks show - I’m not an American - I’m an EXTREMELY proud Jamaican! But I am a most grateful beneficiary of the land of opportunity - so, Happy Independence Day, America - let’s get the troops out of Iraq and back home to their families where they belong so that we can live freely AT HOME - let them come home to protect their home - and celebrate many, many more Generations of Freedom!!!

Okay, so let’s switch it up again!!! I have to say that from age 12 - 18, I was like any other teenager - could eat whatever i wanted, weight was never a concern! Then 18 - hormones kicked in - and the jamaican average diet knocked me flat on my feet. Breakfast - eggs/tuna sandwwich - whatever/ Lunch - 2 Patties/Sandwich of some sort/ soda… After school you get home by 3pm or thereabouts (depending on distance of school from home) and I’d cook up some corn beef and rice as a ’snack’), then dinner - rice, potatoes, yam, dumpling, green bananas, macaroni and cheese - and oh, by the way, some chicken!!! No lie, friends, as Jamaicans, we have a ridiculous diet!!!!

Once 18 hit, the weight started piling on!!! I went on diet after diet - I remember for my wedding, I did this diet where for weeks all I could eat were complex carbs (potato, sweet potato, yam etc - cooked with no salt, no sugar - aka - no flavor!) Then I got to add chicken/fish - but again- no salt - in fact the only spice we were allowed to use was curry! So I had curry everything for months till my wedding day. I lost loads of weight - looked great - but it took years for me to be able to eat curry again - and curried chicken is and always was one of my favorite foods!!!

Then my 20’s - overweight, smoked, the whole nine yards! Midas and I moved to Canada for a while and when we decided to move back home, I determined there was no way I was going home fat - I was 5′4″ and over 160lbs - not obese - but definitely heavy!!!

I came up with this GREAT concept - I learned in Canada to enjoy coffee (never did while living in Jamaica) and I learned that coffee took away my hunger… So - I drank coffee - all day, and smoked - all day - and ate ONLY at dinner!!! Basically, I starved myself to weight loss!!! It worked though - I lost a good 15 lbs. before moving home and after moving back at least another 15lbs!!!! I got to the point (especially since I sported a super short boy -haircut back then - that some people thought I was undergoing chemo! The more people told me I was too thin, the more pleasure I felt!!! It was such a dramamtic change from what I’d grown accustomed to!!! (Jamaican people have a way of telling you that you look well that makes you know you’re fat as heck!!!)

I learned about Herbalife and started using ephedra as well to aid in the weight loss process - and man, did I ever get skinny! I look at those pictures now and there’s still a part of me that says to myself “Wow, you looked great!”

Then, my body took over - the truth is - as my body showed, starving oneself accomplishes one MAJOR purpose - it KILLS your metabolism!!! Your metabolism is what burns the fat/calories you consume!!! My body basically ate so little it thought I was dead - so my metabolism slowed down to a non-existent pace - and I started gaining weight, despite not eating!!! How frustrating - and frightening!!! I was at a loss!!! I moved to Florida and a friend introduced me to Body For Life. I went to the website, bought the book and thought - there’s NO WAY!!! This involves eating!!! Often!!! It also involves working out - but EATING was a foreign concept!

They convinced me to try it, however, and I swear, from my 33rd year to my 35th year, I got into THE BEST SHAPE!!!! I lived the Body for Life program , I worked out and I LOVED IT!!!!! No boasting - I looked better than most people my age!!!

Then my Dad died - and I went wacko!!!! Couldn’t get back on track - went through April to August LOST!!! Gaining weight, demotivated, unhappy, depressed, grieving - the whole nine yards.

August 2003, my friend introduced me to Michelle - my strength and support for the past 4 years!!! Michelle Marie is a personal trainer who is so committed to her clients she changed my life- in so many ways!!!

I started working with Michelle in August 2003…. I’ve followed her and fought her along the way!!! I’ve been good and seen great results, and I’ve resisted and had her yell at me, challenge me for talking the talk but not walking the walk…

Through her INSPIRATION, this girl, who wrote her own excuse notes before P.E each week at Immaculate Conception High School to avoid sweating during a school day, eventually became someone who participated in a fitness challenge and actually won an award for running a 12 minute in the shortest time!!!! That was one of my proudest ever accomplishments!!!!

Now, I look at Michelle, the person that inspired me to go back to Christ, the person that won’t take my excuses for falling short of my fitness goals, but also the person who insists that I find balance in my life and learn that true fitness is not about necessarily “looking perfect”, but about eating in the heathiest ways, working out and enjoying life a little all at the same time…

Michelle has expanded her network of ‘clients’ from the people she can see weekly to the people “OUT THERE” all over the world, desperate for help. She has launched her website - www.michellemariefit.com - which seems initially to be targeted at brides-to-be, but is really there for all of us who want to figure out how to develop a healthy and fit lifestyle that will enable us to have heath, fitness and balance in our lives.

I can only encourage you to go to her site - sign up for the newsletters, order her book - more of which are upcoming- sign up for her online personal training - you cannot imagine the kind of results she can help you to achieve!!! And a more caring, spiritual, person, respectful of all faiths, you will find nowhere else. I love this girl!!! She’s my mentor (never mind that she’s alot younger than me - she has ‘got it’ in a way I’m still trying to attain!!!)

So there you have it - my personal battle through the fitness channell! Tomorrow morning at 7:30am, I have my next weigh-in and body-fat check-up - the analysis that really lets us know how I’m doing!!! It doesn’t matter what I SAY I’m eating - this analysis calls me to the test!!! Since she’s coached, mentored and encouraged me into a mindset of really being dilligent and committed, since she’s been so committed to me that I would be a total moron to fail her, I hope my analysis tomorrow proves that I’m back on track - I’ll let you know…

In the meantime, go to see her at www.michellemariefit.com

She CAN change your life - she’s a gift I want the world to know about!!!! Thanks Michelle !!! I love ya girl!!!