Tower Of Babel

When O.J. Simpson was on trial, I got caught up in all the hoopla surrounding the case… or not… I mean, not in the hoopla, in the disgust which arose because the American media decided that nothing else mattered and that everyone everywhere should be subjected to the long drawn out case and all the boring bullshit that surrounded the whole thing. I think I was so happy when O.J. got off because I felt like that lawyer, O.J., black people and all the fed up watchers of television got a chance to thumb their noses at those T.V. bastards who decide what we watch.

Still, when O.J. wrote that book, “If I had done it” or whatever the phuck he called it, I felt nauseated. I felt like saying to him, “Pussy, you get weh by the skin of your teeth and then you did this?!” and then putting on some heavy slaps in his face. The man is a total pussy, he isn’t good enough to do… anything at all for me, rasta! Nothing at all!

So when I heard that the Goldmans had been awarded the rights to his book, I laughed. “Yes, you little fucker you! I hope you didn’t see a dime from that book! I hope you get totally broke and you end up on the streets! I hope it gets so bad for you that you end up in such a hole that even other homeless people are pissing on you as you lie there in the gutter, you shameless little bitch!”.

So I was surfing along this morning and I came across an interesting article. The article said that Mel Gibson has been named to a list of the top 50 coldest people in Hollywood, where cold is the opposite of hot! What?

The article says that Mel has a new movie out but who cares… Who cares? I care!

So Mel is a bit anti-semitic! So he drank and drove! No one is perfect! We would have hoped that Mel was past the drinking and driving bit, but hopefully its nowhere near a daily practice. As for the anti semitism, so many people are on that list that we really shouldn’t get upset with Mel for that!

Hell, the Jews fall over themselves daily trying to make us all join the anti-semitism bandwagon! Not that I am saying that I am anti-semitic, hell, a Jew saved MBJr.’s life back when he was in his terrible twos! The Jews do have a knack of getting themselves bad press though, you gotta admit it!

I am sure that the guy who wrote the article is a Jew! So probably are the people who voted Mel unto that list in the first place! (the writer and those people who put Mel on that stupid list are the “fassys” referred to in the title!) ) Louis Farrakhan was right about one thing! The Jews in America are very powerful and they work together to further the interests of the Jews. They are most likely responsible for this list.

Mel Gibson is a great actor, and I will probably watch his new film.

You know, I am willing to bet that we read of Mel being tops in some other list, but at the opposite end of the spectrum, in a year or two!

Mel is a top shotta! Mel is a biggah boss! Mad Bull say so! Oonoo nuh fi forget it either! Awoah!

I can easily imagine the scene! I have been to the tax office at Constant Spring Road all too often, and I know that this is the Tax Office that most of my friends and compadres visit. Possibly they get there first thing in the morning like I try to do. It just works out better, you know, because at that time, the crowds haven’t yet built up, so its easier to find parking, and also, you can get through with your business inside the Tax Office that much quicker…

Now imagine, Friday morning gone at the Tax Office, a man attacked a tax office worker. Now, even though they (Tax Office workers, and gov’t. employees in general) can be infuriating, I cannot condone what this man did! No one could! What he did was simply beyond the pale! The man poured a bucket of acid over the woman! Can you believe it? At the Constant Spring Tax Office! People, I could have been there! Any of my friends could have been there… in fact, if I start calling around, I might well find out that one of my friends was there! Or maybe, they were on the scene right after!

The crime and lawlessness in Jamaica was once the preserve of the ghetto… I mean, every now and then, someone we knew would feel the lash of the evil ones, but most of us felt that those who were from our neighbourhoods who were stung were probably “mixed up” in some wickedness. Well, now, no one is safe, anywhere. This shyte is there menacing us, all the time, where ever we are! Its time we got up off our butts and acted! We have got to start fighting back, anyway we know how!

As for the poor Tax Office worker, she went off to hospital, probably to a life of horrible disfigurement. What of the man who did this to her? Him rassclaat dead! The people who saw what he did gave chase, cornered him and beat him to death. I don’t know how long it took, but I am sure it wasn’t long enough! I am only sorry that I wasn’t there to help put on some licks on the bastard, and that we can’t bring the man back to life and then beat him to death all over again, at least five times or so!

In my tour of duty I have realized that culture has a big impact on the way we interact with other people. Specifically with regard to the granting of ‘favours’ and the use of money.

Now with regard to the favours bit – I have seen where Jamaicans as a whole are a fairly courteous bunch. We may not be big on the human rights thing, but we have a healthy respect for each other – (or we might get )! Seriously though, when driving, we does give “bligh”, keep spaces and give ‘skips’ in lines, and generally good at acknowledging someone when you enter into their space (personal or otherwise). (“yes my bredren”)

Much to my despair, this does not obtain in all places….now, although I, as a Princess, realize that the chivalry thing is practically dead, I still expect civility – after all, it is literally (and phonetically) the base of civilization, a.k.a. society.

I realize that some places are different – but what happens when we put 2 Jamaicans together in a different place? We supposedly act towards each other in the same way we act at home?….well, it depends.

I have proven yet again, that once you go to the Diaspora for too long, you start to change. You forget the way we would think about each other at home. It changes from “how you keeping” to “what can I get?”

Now the thing about being away from Yard, is that when you see another Yardie you look out for each other. No matter your social status, you can relate to each other – for all we navel string bury unda de same stew peas/curry goat/ackee etc. tree. Oh, I rambling.. back to the favours bit.

So, far from home you help another Yardie ….who asks for help that you would hesitate to give some of your own family – but you far from Yard, and you know you would appreciate the same level of assistance. And de “tanks”? Well, if you get any at all, it is an invitation to dinner perhaps…where after you eat your belly full, the bill arrives and you are told what your equal portion is, including service charge and the mandatory tip (tenk goodness fah credit card!) Now, if you inviting me to go “dutch” please let me know in advance – for then I would choose my company far more carefully!!!

I tell you, too long in the first world does harden your heart. No longer do people send a thank you card, bring little gifts for the hostess when you have dinner parties, or even call or e-mail to say thanks. Gentility and manners are just totally gone through the window! This is not a bourgeois thing to do – when Granny in de country did visit she fren dem, she would a never walk wid she 2 long hand! 2 mangoes or a slice of sweet potato pudding, or a K.C. Icy Mint to ra$$! Dat is where we did learn these tings, and now so many living so far from Granny, dem forget!

This is a thing that I will sorely miss and will deeply regret its passing. Being genteel is not “old fashioned” or stodgy – it is merely being civilized, and is the one thing that separates us from our primate cousins.

As an independent woman, who believes one can do anything, it is intriguing how one little incident can change the way you may decide to live your life.

Now, I don’t have a Batfink complex.. (”my wings are like a shield of steel”!!) - growing up in Jamaica has well equipped me to being aware of my environment. However, I am mentally ill prepared to deal with an invasion of my space.

In the Kingdom, it is the season of nuff fetes and merriment, all of which requires substantial resources. By extension therefore,it is also the season of petty theft.

My street is similar in profile to a Hope Pastures settup - older people, mostly professionals, nicely manicured gardens etc. Thieves will pass through to see what they can see. And since the trade dispute with the land of the Hummingbird, the fishermen have moved from flying fish to purses. My St. Lucian girlfriend who was staying with me lost her cash a month ago - so I have indirectly been a victim - they broke in (or fished out as it were), and therefore I think I am now exempt. Well….
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Why do I know so many people who have moved away from our island, leaving behind an elderly parent, aunt, uncle or grandparent… and why do all these elderly relatives want to use email to communicate with their relatives overseas, and of course, none of these elderly people have ever used a computer before, mind you…

And why do all of these people know me?

What have I done to offend thee, God?

I’m sorry… really, I am!

Since it seems that there are still those among you (read Dr.D and Natty) who question the veracity of my conviction to become a prolific blogger, let me immediately dispatch your concerns. I am highly motivated having, over the past ten years off marriage, rendered my wife immune to my rants. Now that I have been granted this opportunity to ‘share’ with a new audience I feel compelled to make the most of this before everyone is lulled by my drivel into wishing that each post was my last.

I am generally chipper and positive in my day to day interactions with people, but I am struck by a trend that I have noticed of late and wonder if anyone else has noticed. The saying ‘common sense isn’t common anymore’ took on new meaning over the past week as I was forced to deal with what I will refer to as ‘cranially challenged’ people. Just seems to me that they tend to crawl out of the woodwork just as soon as you hit that sweet spot of your day where you are most productive.

As the Mad Bull can attest to, I was without my car while he was here because one of these ‘mental minnows’ decided that it was perfectly acceptable for her to reverse in my office parking lot without looking behind her to see if the coast was clear. I always wondered what kind of non-driving fool prompted somebody to invent those proximity warnings that now come mounted on the bumpers of well appointed SUV’s …….well, I found out last Monday.

Then there was the case of the parts lady ‘Margo’ from Rick Case Hyundai in Ft. Lauderdale who spent 10 minutes on the phone with me trying to convince me that because my car is right hand drive, I would need to purchase the left hand fender to replace the right hand one that was damaged. In the marshmallow that is her brain, she was convinced and tried to convince me, that somehow the fact that my steering wheel is on the other side of the car from theirs, meant I needed to order the opposite panel. If anybody reading this is wondering if it does……run, don’t walk, to the nearest asylum and check yourself in.

But today was the crowning glory. I found out that there is a certain island south of Cuba which still depends on the mother country, that cannot renew a passport that bears its name and was issued on it’s behalf by the mother country. If I am losing some of you, that was intentional….if you are still following then I expect you have already come into contact with the phenomenon that is the Immigration Dept. of that Island.
That no two people in this Dept. share the same view or information is amazing when considered against the fact that somewhere inside those hallowed walls there actually exist a written law that addresses this plight without leaving much to the interpreters discretion. The resulting chaos and confusion, not to mention wastage of time might simply be one way of discouraging access, but it should be criminal. How I long for those good old days when common sense and the checking of rear view mirrors prevailed.

OneLove

While the Mad Bull and Sandra were off in East End doing the Kunta Kinte thing I took the time to do some reminiscing of my own. My friendship with the Mad Bull is one of those things you look back on and smile about. Growing up in Kingston, Jamaica back in the infamous ‘seventies’ was in my totally biased opinion, the best of times. The friendships forged while at StGC have survived miles of socio-economic and geographic separation not to mention the ever-present test of time. This is what makes our alma mater great. Regardless of where you are in terms of your own personal growth, membership in the brotherhood still has its benefits.

It had been six or seven years since Mad Bull and I last ‘linked up’ and I haven’t seen Dr. D in damn near twenty years, yet the channels of communication have always been open. Any conversation with a member of our graduating class usually begins with inquiries into the where about and well being of our classmates of old. Invariably the information passed on would be current because of a feeling that I believe that we all came away from that school with…..we are our brothers keeper!

Alas, I was able to break out of my reverie when I remembered that my otherwise unblemished record was tarnished after an incident involving the Mad Bull in Mr. Atkinson’s economics class. As I recall the incident, the Mad Bull and I had become involved in a heated political debate and had failed to heed the warnings of the much-despised Atkinson to return to order. We were summarily dismissed from the class and I received my first demerit two weeks before finishing High School and going on study leave to prepare for the dreaded ‘A’ level exams.

Mad Bull has confessed to me that demerits for him were a little more commonplace and so this particular one had no particular significance to him, but for me it still is one of the stories I like to tell my children when we sit around on rainy days talking about when ‘Daddy used to wear short pants.’ That the Mad Bull and others like the goodly Dr. are a part of these stories and therefore a part of who I have become still gives me that warm fuzzy feeling inside. Thanks guys, for the memories, the stories and the friendship…..always the friendship.

Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam……..To the greater glory of GOD.

So, Friday morning, I went to a meeting to discuss this problem they have at work where the Aged Receivables report is not balancing back to the General Ledger. Now this is the second meeting I have attended on this issue. I went to one sometime last week. The meeting was called by a bunch of auditors, so I should have known to fly the coop. Auditors are even lower on the totem pole than lawyers, people! Scum of the fuckin’ earth!

So at that first meeting, I was asked if I could tell them where the aged receivables report got its data from, since it differed from the balance in our general ledger. Now I was invited to this meeting maybe half an hour before it started, and I wasn’t told what it was about. I wasn’t given a chance to find any of the info those bastards wanted, people! I therefore told them that I didn’t know where it got its data from, but I could go and check in the program and find out for them.

Now check this out. The company bought this software package, people. Against my wishes! They paid a bunch of foreign consultants a shitload of money to evaluate a few choices and to oversee the project to install this package. Those fuck ups picked this package, not I. Now we are talking about a “bespoke” package. My team and I have done a few mods, but certainly not to the aged receivables report. How in blue blazes am I to know where this program (that the consultants picked) gets its data from. I’ve never run the program. I’ve never attempted to fix the program. I wasn’t even aware that there was a problem with the program until I went into the meeting! Its kind of like the situation that would obtain if I were a mechanic that worked on someone’s car. If I worked on the right hand shock absorber, why call me when the engine seized up on you?

Do you know that those scum sucking bastards flew back to the motherland and wrote up a bad report, especially highlighting the fact that I had said I didn’t know where the report got its data from! Can anyone tell me WTF I would know? Its probably a good thing I didn’t know or maybe they would have blamed me for being the one to cause the problem with the report.

Now I did say I didn’t know where it got its data from, but I told those scum suckers that I knew where to find that information out, and offered to do so… Was that mentioned? NOOOOooooo!

So today in the meeting someone mentioned that the people at the head office were in a tizzy because of various issues, including the difference between the Aged Receivables and the G/L and he said that my “by now, famous” comment didn’t help the situation much!

You know that I was a mite annoyed, don’t you. Actually, livid is a more appropriate word! Anyway, no one in the meeting felt I had done anything wrong, as they know the situation, but …

You know what? I have a good mind to take these auditors out for a night on the town when they return. I’ll take them to meet Zeeks! He is one of the local dons… a man who can right wrongs! Yeah, thats what I’ll do… Scum suckers! After all, nobody will miss them anyway.. They are just a couple of auditors, nuh true?

Well everyone, only 1 more day to go of our quarantine!!!!! Are we ever excited! I had a great day yesterday. Spoke with the siblings and fiwi madda.
(Our mother) As well as lots of friends.

One of Dr. D.’s blog entries this week addresses the problem of sexual harrassment on the job. I have never been sexually harassed in the workplace, but I have been abused verbally by my boss.

My past boss aka THE EVIL BITCH is a doc. too, but I am sure that has little bearing of her personality. She had three, excellent workers (myself included) running the office for her. Attending to her every wish and fancy. And I do mean her every wish - we would even hem her clothes for her on occasion!!
We had patients who would blow us kisses when they came in and at Christmas
we got enough chocholates from the patients to last till the following Christmas.

For the past few years she was becoming increasingly more erratic. We were never sure in what mood she would be coming to work. She has always been much like the girl with the curl in the middle of her forehead…. when she was good she was very, very good! And when she was bad she was HORRID! But this increased with her erratic mood swings too. She was constantly putting us all down and often in front of patients. She would say rather loudly that she “had better things to do than be seeing patients today!”

At first we wondered if she was menopausal……she definitely is of age! But things progressed to the point where this was no longer only noticable once per
month, but through out the entire month. Little things would set her off. Like transparent tape on her file folder box….. Now remember, this is a doctor’s office. Where the patients would be sitting right beyond our desk. Where we would be labelling blood work, answering calls from patients or other doctors etc., and the EVIL BITCH, speaking rather loudly, and discontentedly would announce that we had to stop whatever we were doing to get the tape off the file box el pronto.

Whatever went wrong in the office, whether it was our error or hers, she would inform the patients, within our hearing that “her staff cannot remember to do these things….” or some such remark. Yes, I know, the word PSYCHO does come to mind!! She’d tell us to change a particular patient’s appointment, and if they then complained to her, we got blamed for it. The list goes on and on. She had each of us in tears at least once. And then at the end of the day, she would behave as if nothing had happened at all. Of course, there was never any thought of an apology!

I know that we all should have left long before we did, but we all did eventually leave, and all within 1 week of each other. Towards the end of my time there, I had the audacity to ask for an pay increase, she did not speak to me for the entire 3 weeks there after, that it took me to leave.

What makes people this way? Why do some of us think that the world revolves entirely around us? And why to the rest of us put up with it? Do any of you have any insights or have a situation similar to this.

I do have another job now, better pay, and a much nicer boss!!! So far anyway,