Rats
This morning, on the way to work, Danae of Fame FM read the news. One of the news items caught my attention. She mentioned that the Ministry of Health has decided that they need to run another rat eradication programme for New Kingston. I AGREE!
Let me tell you, I do not believe in monsters. I do not believe in ghosts, nor vampires, but if there is anything which is horrific, which is inexplicably evil to me, it is RAT! Yes, I fear rats... Don't laugh. They are despicable creatures really. I think the problem is their tail. That nasty, long scaly tail (*shudder*).
And New Kingston! Mien Gott! The place is crawling with rats. They are everywhere. The nasty fuckers are always sprinting right past my shoe in the parking lot at work when I'm leaving in the night. I go to the Hilton to cool out by the pool bar and plop! Out of the shrubbery jumps a HUGE MF-ing rat. Its enough to make you stop drinking to #%$@ (my niece still reads this blog 
)! The absolute worst one though was at the Courtleigh Hotel one "Latina Noche". I was sitting against the back wall, talking to two "chicas". I happened to glance to my right and saw a member of the species "Rattus Humongous New Kingstonus" running towards me at full stretch. You've heard of the "freeze" or "flight" syndrome? I'm definitely a freezer. I kind of noisily sucked in my breath, my face was transformed into some kind of rictus, and I sat absolutely still... I could not move... I was rooted to the spot. Said "rattus" ran directly under my chair and around the corner. Of course, the earlier mentioned beauties noticed all this, and I had to laugh it off afterwards. Me NUH LIKE RAT!!! ( I hate rats)
Anyway, why are there still rats in New Kingston. The flipping Government says they spent some amount in the millions trying to eradicate the vermin in the past. They claim to know that the problem's roots lie in the improper disposal of waste by the food vendors in New Kingston. I'm sure it would cost less to hire two inspectors, and let them pass through New Kingston establishments at regular (but random) intervals. Revoke the licencse of those who continue in their carelessness. Put the fear of God into those bastards... or at least, the fear of the P.N.P. Government, trying desperately to be re-elected... (which might be worse). Trust me, no punishment is too severe for those who encourage RAT! But no, ignore the problem. Its just taxpayer's money which will have to be spant on another eradication program, am I right? ^&#@#
Please note: Author has been drinking... If anyone has been offended by all the foul language, he sincerely apologises with the explanation : " A wha di R%^^ wrong wid you, you nuh see seh a Friday night! " Liquor fi buss to %^$#. Selah!
Posted by madbull4 at May 03, 2002 11:56 PM
Comments
MB, I have to agree wuth you totally. RATS are among the most disgusting creatures on God's Earth. I personally am very afraid of them, particularly the puppy sized monsters to which you have aluded. Medically they transmit diseases like the PLAGUE and Leptospirosis. And they have an inherent tendency to shit and piss all over the place. I agree with The Ministry of Health. Kill off dem rass!!!!
Posted by: Dr. D. on May 4, 2002 10:35 AM
Mad Bull - I certainly was entertained with your rat dilemmas - these jokes had me in stitches! I can't wait to share them with Marc Antony! I just called out to him to share Dr. D's blog comments, and now am doing it again with yours! You guys don't quit. It seems as if the liquor has quite loosened your tongue - not that I mind! We are all much the better for it. Are you sure you and Dr. D weren't still drinking while both of you psoted your comments concurrently?!
Just a though!
Posted by: Rufie on May 4, 2002 11:51 AM
yay for posting under the influence!
Posted by: kd on May 5, 2002 03:54 AM
Idiots.
Rats cannot be evil. They aren't self-aware enough to know what they're doing (do you think they know that they're invading your home... don't think so). The plague isn't caused by the rats, it's the felas. Besides, it's deadly to rats too - as a flea requires a warm body to feed. Once the rat dies, the body temperature drops, thus causing the flea to feed elsewhere.
The diseases that rats carry are NOT natural. These diseases came from OUR waste and OUR filth... we humans are also responsible as we also carry more disease then the rat. I agree that we need to keep the population of wild rats in check, but in a humane fashion. I'm sick and tired of hearing these half-baked myths, stereotypes and prejduice against rats. Didn't you know they make great pets? No, not wild ones... domesticated ones. They groom themselves daily (more so than cats), thus rats are actually clean animals. It's only the waste and filth WE produce that cause these diseases. Since rats are opportunists, they would live at any place where it's safe and warm (ie. sewers). They aren't self-aware enough to know that they have diseases, and we condemn a speices that HUMANS have helped spread in too many numbers. Go figure. You're all bloody ignorant. Do some research before discussing rats... and get over the stereotypes, you twats.
Posted by: Sauron on February 15, 2003 04:48 AM
Sauron, you sound like kind of a rat yourself.....(wink)
Posted by: Natty on July 3, 2003 10:24 AM
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MB, I have to agree wuth you totally. RATS are among the most disgusting creatures on God's Earth. I personally am very afraid of them, particularly the puppy sized monsters to which you have aluded. Medically they transmit diseases like the PLAGUE and Leptospirosis. And they have an inherent tendency to shit and piss all over the place. I agree with The Ministry of Health. Kill off dem rass!!!!
Posted by: Dr. D. on May 4, 2002 10:35 AM