Laughter is the Best Medicine!
I had a rough day at work, and I feel that I need to compansate for that. I-an-I a go play some pool tonight so I won't be long winded here at all. I am just going to drop a couple of jokes on you and then I'm going to flash, seen? Here they are...
Ghetto ParrotA woman had a parrot that she took with her everywhere she went. She would even take the parrot to the club with her when she went dancing and drinking on Saturday nights.
Whenever the woman went onto the dance floor, the parrot would yell, "The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire, we don't need no water-let the muthafukkah burn! Burn, muthafukkah, burn!" The crowd on the dance floor would always cheer and holler in appreciation when the parrot would yell. This would make the parrot yell even more and of course make crowd go wild. This would go on all night long, everytime the parrot went out.
One Sunday morning the woman took the parrot to church and into the choir stand with her. When the choir started to sing, the parrot yelled, "The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire, we don't need no water-let the muthafukkah burn! Burn, muthafukkah, burn!
Feeling very embarrassed, she corrected the parrot loudly, "No, no, you do not say that when we're here!!".
The parrot looked around and asked, "Why not? These are the same muthafukkahs that was at the club last night!!! 
Pretty good, huh? Yeah man, whos your boy! Nuh Mad Bull, man! Have another one on me. Just click on the little link down there...
"A Beer Before It Starts..."A man came home from work, sat down in his favourite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts." She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer.
When he finished it, he said, "Quick, bring me another beer. It's gonna' start." This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer.
When it was gone, he said, "Quick, another beer before it starts." "That's it!" She blows her top, "You bastard! You waltz in here, flop your fat ass down, don't even say hello to me and then expect me torun around like your slave. Don't you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long? . and . . . . . . ."
The husband sighed. "Oh shit, it's started." 
Well, I trust you enjoyed those? Good. I thought you would. Anyway, all fun and jokes aside, I don't plan to drink much at all when I go a street, because the police here have issued a stern warning... there is evil afoot... read the police warning nuh...
Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman. Many females use a date rape drug on the market called "Beer."The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large "kegs". Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them. A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no strings attached sex.
Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several beers, men will often succumb to the desires to sleep with horrific looking women whom they would never normally be attracted. After drinking beer, men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that "something bad" occurred.
At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as "a relationship." In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer term form of servitude and punishment referred to as "marriage." Men are much more susceptible to this scam after beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.
People, this is serious! Please! Tell all the men you know to come here and read this warning! If you fall victim to this "Beer" scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly victimized men. For the support group nearest you, just look up "Golf Courses" in the phone book.
For a video to see how beer works click here.
I hope all you men who read this are planning to heed the cop's warning too, you know? Whats that? Why am I worrying about these women because I am already married? Yow, is some
desperate females we talking about, you know! Yes, rasta, they would box the bread out of a young baby's mouth, and they wouldn't think twice re taking away another woman's victim. Oonoo pray for me, you hear? Later...
Posted by Mad Bull at January 30, 2006 07:02 PM
Comments
OK, sorry to hear about your ruff day at work....so it go sometime rude yute.
Anyway, you seem to have a remedy to destress...so enjoy the pool stick.
Re the beer warning....that is why I man drink of choice is VX Rum!
The jokes weren't too bad either.....I will low you a C+ ( = weak pass!)
Cool vibes my yute.
Posted by: Dr. D. on January 30, 2006 07:16 PM
the jokes weren't bad....they can pass.
Posted by: scratchie on January 30, 2006 10:44 PM
The jokes can pass? You people (Scratchie and Dr. D anyway) have the sense of humour of a piece of brain coral! 
Doctor D, that was the way I got around the ladies too. Not one drop of beer passed my lips... V/X and Pepsi strictly! It was a good night still, played three guys and I won more than I lost so its all good! 
Hopefully tomorrow will be better than today!
Posted by: Mad Bull on January 30, 2006 10:57 PM
LOL! I must admit, that parrot one was funny.
I will be sure to avoid that damn drug called beer, especially after the flash movie!
Enjoy yuhself!
Posted by: stunner on January 30, 2006 11:31 PM
After the fruit vendor lady's parrot cussed me I don't think I like parrots 
Posted by: guyana-gyal on January 31, 2006 08:08 AM
Nice ones. Lick some shot now an post some gyals.
Posted by: revolution_man on January 31, 2006 05:21 PM
That beer aint sayin' sh#@! I know of the best drug used to lure men..and it turn dem eediat even when dem dont get it!!.............RRRRAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!RAAAAAAAHHH!!
Posted by: natty on January 31, 2006 05:50 PM
ha ha ha, ya in form yout
Posted by: jdid on January 31, 2006 06:58 PM
Loved the parrot one.They lucky they eh end up with broken necks
Posted by: kami on January 31, 2006 10:46 PM
Hi Mad Bull-Just passing through.
Posted by: sunshine on February 1, 2006 02:20 PM
Post a comment
OK, sorry to hear about your ruff day at work....so it go sometime rude yute.
Anyway, you seem to have a remedy to destress...so enjoy the pool stick.
Re the beer warning....that is why I man drink of choice is VX Rum!
The jokes weren't too bad either.....I will low you a C+ ( = weak pass!)
Cool vibes my yute.
Posted by: Dr. D. on January 30, 2006 07:16 PM