The Mad Bull's Blog

March 03, 2006

Assalam O Alaikum

I swear, this must be a bad spell for me... recently I feel as if I have been plagued with nuff, nuff negative bullshyte, trust me! Its been nothing but shyte going on recently, like for instance the Satellite TV people shutting down one of my receivers in the most arbitrary fashion, and then that bullcrap with my ankle getting swollen and inflamed and then today now I realise that Natty and MBJr. are both down with some bug or other... and on my birthday too, can you believe it? Happy birthday to me, bwoy...

Cho, a so it go, into every life a little rain MUST fall! You just have to be resilient and roll with the punches, nuh true? I am not even going to dwell on it. There is more still, and you had better go read it, after all, its mah birthday! Its mah birthday, and you've gotta obey, cuz its my birthday!...

Hey, since last week I have been feeling rather lazy, so much so that I have been growing out my beard rather than shaving it. The people I work with have never seen me like this and so I am getting a lot of comments.

Some like it, some don't... one of the younger guys I work with has been telling me that I should trim it down to this pencil-thin line for the sideburns and along the edge of the jaw and then going forward towards my chin I should let it grow out a bit more.

Then he said I could trim down my hair really low and drop on a do-rag and one of those baseball caps, set at a jaunty angle. He said that after I set myself up like that, he and I could hit the street and go look for some girls!

I had to tell him that it sounded good but it just wasn't feasible because the BOSS * wouldn't like that a rass!

Hey, at least the rude yute was suggesting that I was looking like one of those young bwoy latin dudes, probably sort of like Daddy Yankee or something. I could do worse, am I right?

A couple of other people were suggesting that I not let it get too bushy because what with the little bits of grey intermingled with the black, they felt that if I let it grow out, I would look a lot like Osama bin Laden! RASS!

Thats not a good thing, now is it? After all, the Bushy one has been blathering on a bit recently about how confident he was that they were going to nab bin Laden! Can you imagine? Suppose they were to grab me in error and tell everyone that I WAS bin Laden?! My ass would be grass, big time!

Check it out! It would be good for Bushy, because he would look like he had made good on his promise! Hell, the U.S. might even end up repealing that law they have about presidents being able to serve only two terms so that they could give Bushy a third term if he was to "capture" bin Laden!

And you done know Brother Osama would lay low for a year or two! Hey, the heat would be off of him! He could hide out in plain sight, man, all he would have to do is take on some Western behaviour mannerisms, know what I mean? He could find a few strippers, trim up his beard and dash away his head wrap and then he and the strippers could go chill out for a year or two in Montego Bay, getting high on sensimilla and cocaine, dancing up to nuff rubadub and swilling down jerk chicken and jerk pork like crazy!

Hell, he could even master the accent and cut a tune, like that German fellow, Gentleman.

Of course, a leopard doesn't change its spots... even if he wanted to hide away forever, he couldn't! After the two years had passed, bin Laden would come out of hiding with some wicked plan, and you know he would come back with a hell of a rass bang, but by the time that had happened, Bushy and the U.S. would probably have killed me already!

All of this ran through my mind when the first person told me about the Osama resemblance, but I said to myself, "Naw, I don't think I have anything to worry about... Me nuh look like no bin Laden". Today though, a Trini woman who works at my office passed me and told me she liked the beard. She said it reminded her of when she was little, how her dad and some of the other Muslim men used to wear their beards and how I looked "distinguished"... I said, "You're a Muslim?! I didn't know that!", to which she smiled and replied, "Assalam O Alaikum".

Rass, bwoy, she sounded authentic! If I don't get energetic and shave off this beard before the next time I fly out to Florida, the Americans are going to nab me in the airport and I will never see the light of day again! You done know say I am going to shave that rass this evening!Anyway, enjoy your weekend. Peace, or rather, Assalam O Alaikum.

Posted by Mad Bull at March 03, 2006 03:37 PM

Comments

Happy birthday bredrin.Trust mi nuh bada grow nuh beard.....especially if yuh ago visit uncle sam.....yuh done know sey Bush an im bwoys dem nuh too bright....next ting dem hear yuh sey yuh like sportsbars an dem tink sey yuh a shout "Allah Akbar"
Yuh dun know....Big Fox News headline...."Bin Laden nabbed on flight originating in Cayman"....USA placed on red alert....what a raass :D

Posted by: charles on March 3, 2006 10:31 PM

happy birthday MB!
if we see you at the corner pocket or somewhere next week hit me up for a VX/pepsi.
as for bushy, dont doubt that third term thing- he's been acting like an emperor too much already.

Posted by: jeff. on March 4, 2006 01:21 AM

oh, and walaikum as salaam.

Posted by: jeff. on March 4, 2006 01:26 AM

happy birthday to you,happy birthday dear mb,happy bday to you.Get a goatee

Posted by: kami on March 4, 2006 05:23 AM

Happy belated, MB. Been missing in action mahself lately... hope you had a good one.

As for Bush, Bin Laden and all dat frass... chuh... doan get me started. *kiss teet*

Posted by: Fyr on March 4, 2006 02:25 PM

Happy Belated.

Totally forgot....nuff other stuff on the brain....

Will shout you later.

Posted by: Dr. D. on March 4, 2006 02:48 PM