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March 31, 2003

One Draw, One Draw

In Dr. D's post tonight, he mentions that he came across some young men 'bunning some cess.' (smoking some marijuana). He mentioned that this is a common sight here, and it is true. He also mentioned that it is an illegal substance...

Hmmm... Well, there has been a lot of talk recently about decriminalizing small amounts of the ishenks (marijuana) for personal use. The Commissioner of Police is for decriminalization because he says the cost of arresting and prosecuting a man for possession of ganja far outweighs the outcome... a small fine for the man, before being released. He feels that it is a waste of time, and as such the authorities should either decriminalize it (in small amounts, for personal use) or increase the fines / jail time incurred for those convicted of that offence.

The Attorney General has also said that he is for the decriminalization of the goodly weed, although I haven't heard the reasons he has advanced for doing so.

In a news report this evening, Cliff Hughes (a popular local journalist, who I generally like) spoke of this ongoing discussion and his news team conducted a small poll, in which 14 out of seventeen people canvassed were for the decriminalization of the substance.

Still, who knows whether this talk will lead anywhere? The Government doesn't really care what the people want or think, so it may well never come to pass... What do you all think about it? Sound off in my comments nuh?

Posted by Mad Bull at 10:08 PM | Comments (14)

2003's Not a Good Year...

I notice that its that time of year when beauty competitions are starting up again. Let me warn you all, last year's Miss Jamaica Universe, Sanya Hughes, will totally overshadow this years' winner! She has no competition in this year's bunch of girls...

Posted by Mad Bull at 09:24 PM | Comments (0)

March 30, 2003

It Aint About the Oil!

I don't usually read Ian Boyne. I don't know what moved me to read his article today, but it was an eye opener. It sounds to me like he has hit the nail on the head!

The U.S. is NOT in Iraq fighting for oil, as so many people wish to believe. They are fighting to prevent a nation from attaining weapons of mass destruction... a doctrine they plan to continue with too...

As Boyne points out, in the early 1990s, the Defense Planning Guidance (DPG) document was put out by super-hawk Deputy Secretary of Defence, Paul Wolfowitz, and contributed to by Vice-President, Dick Cheney, and Secretary of State, Colin Powell. Wolfowitz was then under-secretary of defence for policy.

The central idea propounded by this document was that the U.S. should at all costs strive to maintain itself as the nation with the most military might in the world, and as such, should reserve the right to attack ANY NATION which seems to be on a path towards overtaking its position at the top of the military pile.

In furtherance to their objectives, it behooved them to try to convince the rest of the world to accept the U.S. as the one provider of security forces for the rest of the world. So for instance, Europe. Europe might be allowed to become an economic force, but the U.S. would not take kindly to attempts by Europe to arm itself...

Boyne says "If it sounds like it is a retreat into the law of the jungle, it is because it is.". Interesting stuff by Boyne here... Give it a read, nuh?

Posted by Mad Bull at 01:38 PM | Comments (6)

March 29, 2003

Whats This?

Hmmm... Isn't People Magazine a fairly reputable magazine? Not like the Star or the Enquirer, right?

According to People, Eric Benet isn't angry at Adrien Brody at all! (re the stolen kiss) In fact, "Eric and Halle are both friends of Adrien's", the article says...

You've got to be able to read between the lines, I guess... These guys are into wife sharing / swapping or something. They've just got to be swingers! Think about it. If a strange man were to grab and kiss my wife like that, I'd be pretty angry about it, but if it were a mutual friend, why, I'd be LIVID!!! As we sometimes say, "s'mady 'oulda DEAD!". (Somebody would have to DIE!)

Unless something was into something, you simi? (Do you see what I'm saying?)

Or can anyone else offer up a better explanation?

Posted by Mad Bull at 08:21 AM | Comments (1)

March 28, 2003

Me Deh Yah

Cathy Levy

Well, me de yah (I am here) again... Another Friday and not one rass to do. I ned to breze out... do something differnt... I ned to go to the Mas Camp. Or maybe I should go play some pool. Mayb I should go to the Jokr's session at WeekendZ tomorrow night.

Maybe I should buy the effing keyboard. This onee is is effing around. The 'E' key is going on the blink... Anyway, if I bang the bejesus out of the 'E', it appears, so let me do that...

I am getting the stay-at-home heebeejeebies though. I've got to plan a night out for my Empress (Natty) and I, yuh simi?

So what happened today? Well, Sixty Five went home from another sojourn in the hospital. He seems to be in much better shape, so lets hope he doesn't have to return until its time for his operation.

What else? Hmmm. Oh, yesterday my boss calls and tells me to go to the long service awards that my company was putting on today. Remember that project to upgrade our Customer Information System that I was always cussing about towards the end of last year? Well, the president of the Company awarded the project team his Award for Excellence. We are each getting a nice trophy and, I hear, a cash award, though I don't know how much.

We were wined and dined at the Jamaica Hylton today, baby. It was fun too, I got to see this local band, To-Isis, perform. They were pretty damned good. The singers all came up through the Cathy Levy Players system and they sound great. I am glad I went. In fact, as I watched them perform, I found myself wishing that my Empress could have been there to see them too, but the way the Awards ceremony was run this year, only the employees could attend. Bummer!

Whats the Cathy Levy Player's system? Well, Cathy Levy is a past Miss Jamaica (1983 - She came fourth in the Miss World too). She was really popular. She had an interest in the performing arts, and after her reign, she set up a sort of school for kids who were interested in the performing arts... acting, singing, dance, the whole she-bang.

She has done some absolutely fabulous work and unearthed some very talented Jamaicans. Apparently the To-Isis group I mentioned earlier is formed totally from kids who went through her program.

Anyway, today was pretty good, however, once again, I am just here, hanging out tonight. The Entertainment Report with Anthony Miller has just finished, it was interesting, but unfortunately, it also served to whet my appetite to go out and do something a little different. Cho, man. Me gawn! If I have something interesting to report later, I will...
Bless!

Posted by Mad Bull at 09:45 PM | Comments (2)

March 27, 2003

Some of Them Are Effries!

Today, when I was leaving work, a woman who works in the division that my department supports signalled me over.
"How come you didn't tell me that Sixty Five was ill?" she asked.
I mumbled some stupid answer. I had mulled over mentioning it to her and decided against it, because though she is supposed to be a friend, as time goes by, I find that she is more a botheration to the spirit than anything else...

Anyway, she, another gentleman and I began to talk about sickness, and death. You know the kind of conversation...
She said "I know another man who just died... I went to the funeral last weekend. I last saw him alive in January. He looked hale and hearty, then he collapsed two days later. The doctors told him he had about 8 months to live, but he took it to heart and just worried himself to death!".

Theres more, if you want to read it...

MORE...

Posted by Mad Bull at 10:43 PM | Comments (1)

March 26, 2003

Tek Beating, St. Lucia!

Hey, you knew that Jamaica was to be playing some matches in the qualifications for the Gold Cup, didn't you? Well, I just heard the score of the St. Lucia match. We bus' dem shirt, my peeps. 5-Nil!

Sorry, Russ, in case you ever read this

NOT! Cool... Lets hope the Reggae BoyZ can keep the good vibes flowing. Unfortunately, neither Dr. D. nor myself went tonight. There is another match Friday night, and Sunday night, so we must go to at least one!

You know, the letter 'E' on my keyboard is acting up something fierce and it is pissing me off no end. Unfortunately, I have not yet remembered to buy one while I am on the road. Anyway, if you miss some 'E's in my posts, you know why...

Blessed love.

Posted by Mad Bull at 09:10 PM | Comments (1)

March 25, 2003

Where is Raed?

BTW, where the @!&^% is Raed? Down there in Baghdad, thats where! Raed was on CNN today, guys... He is authentic! He had lost internet access for a couple of days, as he got so many hits, his ISP's server froze!

They've done some good work for him, he is back online and posting away. I heard about them lighting oil in trenches from Raed, not CNN. The man is on spot, baby! A blogger enlightening us from inside Iraq! Read Raed. Now!

Posted by Mad Bull at 10:27 PM | Comments (7)

Street Magic

Yow! Heres a little tip... Tonight I'm watching TLC, and I never do that... You ought to do so as well. They have this magician guy, David Blaine on it doing a magic show. Its called Street Magic, and its AWESOME!!!

This guy is an ALIEN, man! Check it out! Step aside, David Copperfield!

Posted by Mad Bull at 09:54 PM | Comments (3)

Carpe Diem

Well, well, well! They used to speak of days of old when men were bold, but it seems there are some pretty bold men around nowadays too!

I meant to watch the Oscars, but didn't get to. Don't remember why, but thats how it is. I wonder how many of you missed it too? Probably you were watching that damned, neverending war movie thingy thats showing on so many stations, or maybe you were blogging about that stupid war thingy or... I don't know what else, maybe you were taking a shit , but assuming you missed it, guess what happened?

Apparently Halle Berry was giving out an award or something, and the guy she gave it to (Adrien Brody) made very good use of the moment indeed.

Look at that kiss in that picture up there! Apparently he "all bus up her gum dem too" (slipped her a li'l tongue too). Bold is not the word, my friends, isn't she still married? My Word!

The article I read suggested that she was "shocked" by the whole thing, but I don't know... I can well remember times when I wished I had the power to just grab a beautiful woman, kiss the hell out of her and get the type of response Adrien Brody seems to be getting from Halle! Phew! Its getting hot in here!

Big up to Adrien Brody, my peeps, because he dared, and it seems, he won! Respect is due!

Posted by Mad Bull at 08:26 PM | Comments (4)

So Whats In A Name?

I read somewhere that Saddam Hussein's first name is pronounced sort of like 'Sahdahm'... In the heated diplomacy just prior to the first Gulf War, George Bush Snr. started calling him in a manner sounding like this : 'Sahd-am'. The writer was suggesting that Bush Snr. did this on purpose, to make Saddam's name sound like Sodom, with all the negative connotations that the name Sodom carried ...

Personally, I kind of like the name when it is pronounced 'Sahdahm'. It sounds cool... kind of strong, and since its linked with the dictator, kind of wicked, you zimi? (Understand?) Of course, I wouldn't name my child that! No sir!

But a dog now... Yeah mon! Sahdahm is an irie name for a dog! You get yourself a nice Rottwieler or a Dobermann, and get it attack-trained so as to protect your household against the little thieving scum who sometimes pass through your garden at night.

Can you imagine? The little scum passing through the yard, looking for something to thief... Suddenly he hears some loud, fearsome barking... Then you cry out "Seek him, Sahdahm!". and he hears the big Rotty bounding down upon him... He would soil his pants, mon! if he gets away, he'd never come back, and if he didn't get away, the dog would probably tear off a piece of him, so that you have less to worry about when you find his ass...

And part of the whole package would be that lovely name 'Sahdahm'... When the thief hears that name, it will transfix him with fright, so that he can't think or run or even take steps to attack you or your beast. He will stand riven to the spot, until the Rotty takes him out!

Hell, the only thing better than that would be to have two such mutts, but then you'd have a problem. What would you name the second one?Hmmm...

Maybe 'bin Laden'?

Posted by Mad Bull at 12:37 PM | Comments (3)

March 24, 2003

Tired of Watching the War?

Hey! Why waste time watching the war media or arguing with other people as to whether the war is justified or not, or whether to support the armed forces or not, or whether the Reggae BoyZ should pack the fuck up, do something more productive with your time. Go take a shit!

Yeah, I know its a damned good idea, and its good for you. A lot of people are releasing a lot of shit orally nowadays, but that doesn't give you real relief. For real relief, you've got to let out a LOAD!

But some say that taking a shit can be pretty boring... After all, you just sit around the whole time you're doing it, right? Wrong, Baby! You should try to do something productive while you let it all fall out!

So what are your options? Well, you could read something. The newspaper, a novel, a magazine, the report on canteen expenditure for your company, anything you wish... But not everyone wants to read while taking a dump. If you fit into this category, be thankful you were born at this time, because the advent of handheld computers has opened up a whole new frontier to you: Play computer games while you crap, like 'Bejewelled' for instance. Apparently it is now the number two most popular activity to acompany the whole shitting process in Trinidad... Yeah mon, its true, check it out if you like, as they report on the results of the latest Trinidadian Toilet Time (TTT) poll over at Picong.com.

Posted by Mad Bull at 11:04 PM | Comments (4)

The Other Side

From the blogs of Dr. D and myself, you may have drawn the conclusion that everybody here is against the war, but that is not so. There is a very vocal group of people who believe Bush is the greatest... "Bush don't tek NO crap, not like those U.N. assholes!".

Natty is a most vociferous supporter of Bushy in his little adventure. Today, I was discussing the war briefly with a couple of bredrin (friends), and I had to say to them that I was really not watching the war, but Natty seems to be fighting in Iraq! Nothing passes her eagle-eyed vision or equally acute hearing, and she then comes and regales me with every triumph, and also, to be fair, with every tragedy.

On Sunday, I was reading the Sunday Gleaner and read an interesting, persuasive article by Dawn Ritch suggesting that Bush is great as well... You should go and read it, its titled 'Jamaicans are a sell out people'. It is pretty interesting.

My mom is a Bush fan (no surprise there, right Seven? ) and there are many others who basically support the war... Why, just this morning on TVJ, they brought on this old Jamaican war veteran. He had served in the Royal Air Force as a navigator and a bomb release technician during World War II. He had some interesting stories to tell, and sort of gave you an idea of what the U.S. and the Iraqi soldiers must be going through right about now.

He had an interesting viewpoint on bombing Baghdad. He felt that it was the duty of Saddam and his henchmen to move the civilians away from harm. He felt that it was wrong to try to avoid hurting civilians to the point where you start to lose your own troops because you were trying so hard to avoid civilian casualties on th enemy side. He felt that it was the leader who didn't take steps to protect his countrymen who was doing the real wrong, and not the airmen who were doing the bombing. In his own words, "Man, woman and child, blast them all to hell, yes! After is not you killing them, is their own people!"

Everywhere you go, you hear people of either side joined in animated discussion or heated argument on this issue.

I know I said I would not write anymore about the war, but it is good to be fair and tell the whole story, nuh true?

Posted by Mad Bull at 09:03 PM | Comments (5)

March 23, 2003

Racing to Ochi

I went searching for "Jamaican Blogs" in google this morning, and I found Wayne and Becca's Blog. It isn't really a Jamaican blog, but rather, a blog by a couple spending some time in Ja. It seems to be interesting nevertheless.

I read about their stay at the Jamaica Grande. That blog entry was quite interesting. I especially enjoyed the discussion of the trip down to Ocho Rios from Kingston. I can identify with that.

Over the years, I have been on many a hair-raising trip to Ocho Rios. Generally, if you are driving really safely, the trip will take approximately two hours. Back when I was in my teens and early twenties, we used to go to the country on the long weekends a lot. Part of the fun of the trip was the drive down to Ocho Rios and the drive back.

People used to race one another to get there, reducing the time for the trip from two hours to as little as one and a half hours in some cases. The reduction of the travelling time made for some really hair raising experiences, as these young drivers drove like maniacs! When you are young, you are infused with a feeling of invincibility, and that, coupled with a lot of testosterone, would ensure that many a young driver would put his life and those of his passengers on the razor sharp edge, not once but dozens of times in one trip! Theres some more, if you'd like to read it...

MORE...

Posted by Mad Bull at 10:25 AM | Comments (1)

March 22, 2003

Uh Oh!

Seems to me that more and more men are getting into anal sex these days... I know a lot of women who say they've never tried it and that their men don't want it either. I am sure that some of these women are wrong about that fact though.

I think that quite a few men are at least curious about it. Maybe its the fact that the anus is supposed to be tighter than the vagina (at least in the beginning ) and also, the fact that lots of people consider it to be taboo... Sort of like the forbidden fruit, you know? Those two things may well be a major part of the stimulus towards trying anal sex... but believe me, plenty of these women have men that are at least curious.

I've said pretty much the same thing to them, and they say "Not MY man!". They point out that their man has never asked for it, nor tried to instigate it, but I think that a lot of them are wrong about that too. They just don't recognise the signals, baby!

He : "Man, its dark in here, isn't it... put it in for me nuh?".
She : "Wait? You don't know your way around a woman's body?".
He : "Ok. ... ..."

(* a brief pause ensues *)

She : "Wait, thats the wrong hole! Take it out!".
He : "Uhn... ok.".

(* another brief pause... *)

She : "Well? ... ...".

He : "Well what?"
She : "Take it out!!!
He : "Ok...".

Sound familiar?

Posted by Mad Bull at 10:48 PM | Comments (14)

Dust Him Out, Yes!

Ok, I'm tired of talking about this war, so this'll probably be my last post on it... or not. We'll see.

Earlier I was registering my disapproval of the U.S. going to war with Iraq.

I am not a fan of Saddam. (Nor am I of Bush, for that matter )
I believe that he should be forced to disarm if it is proved that he does have weapons of mass distruction. I think it would be a good thing if Saddam were not in power in Iraq.

I also think that the right body to force disarmament, and to cause a regime change is the U.N.

I think Bushy should only have acted in concert with the U.N.

'T' of Red Eagle Spirit showed me a link that suggests that the Iraqis were involved with Osama bin Laden in the 9-11 incident. If that is true, then in my opinion, all bets are off... I think that the U.S. should smoke Saddam's ass... with extreme prejudice! Shout me and let me know what you think, if you feel like...

That is all.

Posted by Mad Bull at 11:40 AM | Comments (4)

Shock and Awe!

Long ago, I went to a friend's wedding. As is usual during these ceremonies, the best man got up to give his toast. At that point, he proceeded to shock the people who had come to see the couple joined in holy matrimony.

"I remember the first time that Anthony laid eyes on Rachael... She was walking through the campus at UWI, and her body was a seh ONE! Anthony shouted out to her 'Hey chiney gyal, you batty a shock out!'." he said.

I have mentioned the respect and awe which is granted to the woman's derriere here, but to have it lauded so... frankly... at a wedding reception was not expected. The best man brought down the house!

Well, that memory was dredged up from the past when I saw this picture of J-Lo. She was attending the British Premiere of Maid of Manhattan. It seems that she was launching her own "Shock and Awe" campaign to wow the British!

I wonder how well her movie did / is doing over there? Can any of my readers shed any light on this for us? Enquiring minds want to know!

Posted by Mad Bull at 09:17 AM | Comments (7)

March 21, 2003

R&R

Well, the weekend is off to a pretty good start! This morning I loaded up Winamp and queued up some dancehall music. I cracked the volume wide open and was dancing away... Natty had to laugh "Bwoy, are you happy to be staying home!!!" .

Today marks the third day that I have done my sit ups, etc. This is freakin' great! I have been trying to resume doing these exercises daily, but have never gotten past the second day since about three years ago! This could be the start of something BIG! I can feel it! Wish me willpower to keep this stuff up, ok?

I see that Bush and his bredrins (friends) have been "gettin' busy" all night! All kinds of stuff seems to have gone on. They seem to have siezed some airfields in Western Irac. Maybe they'll get the job done by next week Friday. That'd be cool, just get the whole damned thing over with, seeing that theres nothing that can be done to stop it anyway...

Posted by Mad Bull at 10:45 AM | Comments (1)

March 20, 2003

Time for a Regime Change!

The other day, I was sent an email which contained pictures of people protesting this "war". One of the protesters had up a sign saying "Bush is another name for a CUNT!". Personally, I like cunts... I like them a lot, and I don't think that they should be used with any negative connotations. I feel the same was about derogatory terms like pussy, wuss and so on.

For Bush, I'd say that a better name is "Asshole".

Check out what the asshole and his cronies are up to now... More strong arm tactics... What else did you expect? The fasseyhole nuh trying to force the Caribbean nations to stay away from an upcoming special United Nations General Assembly meeting where it is felt a resolution condemning the U.S. action against Irac will be proposed...

Here is what I consider to be a useful view of this whole sorry affair... A recommended read, if you will... Desiree posted an essay written by someone she knows on this conflict. Give it a check, nuh?

Posted by Mad Bull at 10:29 PM | Comments (5)

Dis One Wikid!

Sometimes the truth is funnier than make believe! I guess it is good that we can take a bad thing and make some fun about it, otherwise we might all go crazy... I give you the cartoon of the day from the Jamaica Gleaner.

So, everybody is talking of WAR! Its all you can hear about. Everyone is speculating that the war will have a very bad effect on poor little Jamaica, as it'll scare away the tourists (Tourism is one of our major money earners), and it'll cause an increase in the price of oil, and that'll drive up cost in just about every sector of the economy. Here's the Bull Economic Hypothesis :

Oil price increases = Electricity price increases = Economic downturn.

It's an even more grim picture, because the economy was in a shambles to start with, hence the cartoon of the day.

I hear that there are a lot of anti-war protests going on in South California even as I write this... I wonder if wKen is involved in these protests... Over a thousand arrested already... My word! I saw on the news where an American was being interviewed and he said that he hopes for a regime change in Washington! I found that funny too, and I agree with him. Think about it. The U.S. has attacked Iraq even though they were unprovoked. They speak openly on the various media of attempting to hunt down and kill Saddam and his relatives. While I wouldn't be sorry to see the end of Saddam, we really couldn't say anything if Saddam were able to pull of a feat like having an airliner or two crash into and wipe out the White House, could we? The kind of horror we felt when 9-11 occurred would not really be in evidence, because Bush has taken to the same sort of terrorist activities that his enemies utilise. We'd just have to shrug our shoulders and say "Chalk that up to the fortunes of war, boys.".

You know what would have been great? Imagine if Saddam and Bush were to agree to meet and do single combat to settle their differences, instead of sending other peoples' pickney (children) out to be killed... Wouldn't that be Wild? The only problem with that scenario is that Bushy would probably get his ass kicked from here to Timbuktoo! We've heard over and over how dimwitted he is, but even he isn't that dumb, so I know that such an event will always remain but a fleeting fantasy. Anywayz...

I didn't get to write anything last night, but then you know that already, didn't you? Yesterday was quite busy, and by the time I got home, I really didn't feel like writing anything. I was quite tired actually, but I think I got in a good sleep last night, so I'm feeling ok tonight

I have applied for a day off tomorrow as well, and it was granted, so that has also added to my general spirit of good will... A four day weekend! (* sigh of contentment *) Lovely, man!

Posted by Mad Bull at 08:54 PM | Comments (4)

March 18, 2003

Joe Who?

Now heres a first! I'm going to post a link to pictures of a nude man! And no, I haven't "Gotten rich and switched!". If I had gotten rich, I'm sure I'd have found out by now.

Still, I wish I had a body like Joe Millionaire!

You know, it just occurred to me... I know he wasn't really a millionaire, but he looks like he would make a good, successful 'Joe Grine' to me. ( a Joe Grine is a man who habitually screws around with other men's wives / girlfriends... a sort of Casanova, if you will)... Ladies, what do you think? Skits presents Joe! Check it out.

Posted by Mad Bull at 11:18 PM | Comments (8)

Inside Iraq

Look who I found in my referrer logs: Raed! It seems he is an Iraqi. It seems he is for a regime change, but not via bombing the crap out of Iraq... I suppose thats understandable, when the life some errant U.S. bomb may snuff out is your own !

If you want to read a non-CNN, non U.S. viewpoint of whats happening in Iraq right now, give Raed a check... Sometimes its good to listen to both sides of the story.

I hope Raed survives the war...

Posted by Mad Bull at 09:41 PM | Comments (5)

March 17, 2003

The Week of Menace

You know whats interesting? On the way to work, I was listening to Fame FM as usual. Francois ended his "Trivial Pursuit" program saying that "we are looking down the barrel of the "Week of Menace"... and yet, he isn't talking about the looming U.S. - Iraq War.

No sir, hes talking about the upcoming Fame Road Party, billed "Menace in May Pen".

Francois is talking "party" and yet he could almost be talking about those menacing events on the world scale, couldn't he? I mean, today was to have been a sort of deadline for that series of events, wasn't it? I don't know about you, but I found that interesting...

Updated @ 13:37 : Also considered interesting at this time... I heard that we have a new dance here... Its called the "Drive By". Thats just disturbing ...

And what oonoo make of this new killer flu?

Posted by Mad Bull at 09:32 AM | Comments (6)

March 16, 2003

The #*@&^@^#$ Road!

Suppose you see the way the stinkin' Government has let my road deteriorate! It is a disgrace! You can't negotiate it at over twenty miles per hour, and even at that speed, you risk serious damage to your rack ends or your control arms!

It is so full of potholes that you have to be swerving from side to side the whole way down the friggin' road! It is not uncommon for you to be forced off the road because the person who is coming towards you is in your lane and refuses to go back into their own lane. Apparently they fear the potholes on their side of the road more than they fear a head-on collision to rass, and sometimes I do not wrong them!

So why is the road in this deplorable condition? Why don't those stinking assholes fix our road? Is wha' mek? (What is going on?) Is true dem think seh is pure JLP live on deh? (What, do they think that its only JLP people who live here?) Or is true we black? (Or are we being disadvantaged because its mostly black people who live here?)

Oi! You Government types must live up to your responsibilities... Fix the rass claat road!

Posted by Mad Bull at 10:37 PM | Comments (5)

Kalooki Rocks!

Listen me nuh, man! I just executed a brilliant ( if I do say so myself ) come-from-behind win in Kalooki tonight! It was wonderful stuff. I was in last position and I came down and out, forcing everyone to double their score! As a result, I won by nine points! Sweet!

Anyway, I'm tired like a dawg, so I am going to draw some Z's. TTYT (Talk to you tomorrow!)

Posted by Mad Bull at 01:21 AM | Comments (3)

March 15, 2003

Adolescents & Contraceptives

Adolescents and contraceptives should go together, shouldn't they? If they're sexually active, it most definitely should!

In my morning rounds, I came across this entry over at Girls in the Bag. She speaks of teenage girls playing a kind of sexual roulette, making out without any form of protection and then fretting away until the end of their menstrual cycle. This was SO NOT my adolescent experience... The only time I "rode without a saddle" was when I was certain that my partner was on the pill...

The only times that I faced any worries was when condoms broke... but I accept that some people have had different experiences. Read Emmie's take on this topic. I guess these are the two opposite sides of the spectrum. Which side did you fall on?

Posted by Mad Bull at 09:31 AM | Comments (4)

Trends in Da Muzik

I've been downloading and listening to some of the Carnival 2K3 songs and I must agree with a couple of bredrin (friends) I saw at the airport who told me that this year's songs were much better than last year's. One thing I notice though... More and more, a lot of Soca performers are getting into Dancehall music. You can check out Treason or Bunji Garlin and tell me what you think?

Are we moving toward a fusion of the two genres? Or will it lead to the emergence of something fresh, exciting and new... A Caribbean beat... or a CaribBeat!

Posted by Mad Bull at 08:03 AM | Comments (0)

March 14, 2003

A Crime of Passion

From time to time, MBJr. and I play-fight together. He loves it. We lie on my bed and he throws punches and kicks while I block or hold his limbs. I pretend to punch him, or I hold him down and tickle him. Its not a bad way to pass a half hour or so.

Last Sunday, we were play-fighting just like that. I was lying on my back and he was standing in the bed. I pulled his feet from under him and he fell. Unfortunately, when he got back up, he overbalanced and fell forward, headbutting me in the nose! The fight was over instantly! I was in agony, and my nose ended up hurting me for a couple of days... MBJr. didn't even know that something had happened. He hadn't felt a thing!

On Thursday last, we were again similarly engaged. This time we were both lying on our sides facing each other. I grabbed his arm at the elbow, used it to pin down his other arm, and was hitting him with fake punches to the ribs, occasionally sneaking in some underarm tickling. Eventually, I let his arms go, waiting on him to get up and charge me. Instead, the little man reached out and grabbed the side of my face and pulled! Unfortunately, his fingernails needed cutting... The young gladiator managed to rake me from just below my ear in the direction of my mouth, two long scratches! They were quite painful. Needless to say, he won that fight instantly too!

When I went to work the next morning, everyone was asking me what had happened to my face. Today, after I explained to yet another enquirer as to the cause of my wound that MBJr. and I were fighting, she replied "You too lie! That looks like a crime of passion!".

Can you imagine... He's started to whup my ass already!

Posted by Mad Bull at 09:59 PM | Comments (2)

March 13, 2003

A Great Email Joke

I received this joke from Dr. D. I waited a couple of days to see if he was posting it himself, and now I've dcided to share it with you... Enjoy!

I was driving east when the irrisistible urge came over me to use the bathroom. Luckily, a reststop was nearby. I turned in and parked and went inside. I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying: "Hi, how are you?"

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the men's restrooms at a rest stop but, I don't know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassedly: "Doin Just Fine!"

And the other guy says: "So what are you up too?"

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say: "Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling east!".

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question.

"Can I come over to your place after while?".

Ok, this question is just wacky but i figured I could just be polite and end the conversation.

I tell him "Well, I have company over, so today is a bad day for me!"

Then I hear the guy say nervously...

"LISTEN!!! I'll have to call you back, there's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions, bye!"

Posted by Mad Bull at 08:47 PM | Comments (3)

Dem Think It Did Done!

Respect to Amnesty International! I thought the whole matter was closed. A team of police led by Renato Adams murdered seven youths in Braeton, St. Catherine, and despite lots of evidence to that fact, they got away scot free.

But, as we say here, "God naw sleep!" Amnesty International has never forgotten this case. They have come out to say that they will help the families of the murdered youths to carry the case to the Inter-American Commission on Human Rights, since they have been failed by their Government.... Thank you to Amnesty, and to the Government of Jamaica, you are a shame and an embarassment to all Jamaicans. Shame on you! More Fire! Blaze it up!

Click on the Braeton button above to read an account of what happened by a reputable member of the community who was on the scene. Click on the Amnesty report for links to Amnesty's report on their findings. Click on the Amnesty link in the first line for a link to today's news item that this post is based on.

Posted by Mad Bull at 07:41 PM | Comments (2)

March 12, 2003

On a Walkabout

I went to pay a telephone bill down by the New Kingston Mall. I thought about driving down then changed my mind because I know I haven't been getting anywhere near enough exercise lately.

I walked down instead, and as a result I happened upon a Media Mix film crew filming a scene from their Jamaican soap opera, "The Royal Palm Estate". When I walked up, I noticed some people with movie cameras and such delights, so I stopped to see what it was that they were filming. Suddenly a black stretch Lexus limosine pulled up to the curb. The chauffeur stepped out and walked to the rear of the vehicle, opening the door for the passenger, which happened to be none other than the don, "Sonny T.", dressed all in black and up to the heights of deviltry as usual.

I also saw a guy for whom I once did some custom programming work. He stopped to chat, and in the process clued me in to something! Have you ever wondered how so many people in Jamaica are driving the latest Escalades, Bimmers (especially the C series, or the X5), Benz or Prado? Have you wondered where they are getting the money from?

My friend (who is in the motor vehicle tracking business for banks and insurance companies) told me that quite a few of these vehicles that we see on our roads are stolen vehicles. They are rented or stolen in the United States and are shipped down here and sold. Many of these vehicles never even passed through Customs!

He advised me that I should contact him whenever I am in the market for a new vehicle as he can run a trace on the vehicle for me, telling me all sorts of interesting info on the vehicles history and verifying the correctness of its paperwork and ownership. Based on some of the stuff he was telling me, that sounds like a good idea!

Posted by Mad Bull at 05:16 PM | Comments (3)

Free At Last!

Good News! Sixty Five has been discharged from hospital! Thank God Almighty, he is free at last!

Yes sir, he is safely esconsed in the warmth of hearth and home. Needless to say, he is very glad to be out!

I will not have such a long drive to go and see him now, but I will miss the little store in the hospital all the same... They sold these delightful little Werther's Toffees that I just couldn't resist. Mmmmmm! I can taste them now.

Still, I am glad he is home...

Posted by Mad Bull at 01:24 PM | Comments (11)

March 10, 2003

What d'you think?

Ok, here is the beginning paragraph in the beginning chapter of a book that I'm thinking of writing...

Once, when I had been bad, I had to see the counsellor... He attempted to help me, asking me this and that about myself, trying to find out how I'd gotten so fucked up... Then he asked me what I thought of my father. Oh no you don't! Don't try to blame it on him! " I thought. "If I had to describe my father, I'd say that he was a strong candidate for the greatest father in the world!" I replied.

The counsellor went a bit goggley-eyed! "Thats great!" he exclaimed. "Its so interesting! Most of the people I talk to have much worse feelings for their father. In fact, in Jamaica, the father figure is seen in a pretty poor light!".

Well, not in my neck of the woods, dude! And its not only me, everybody loves my Dad! Awoah!

Only one question remains... Why in hell was I so fucked up then? And no, it wasn't my Mom, neither...

Ok, I have a couple of questions. If you read this opening paragraph, would your curiousity be piqued? Would you continue reading, or cast the book aside? Finally, if it wasn't Dad, and it wasn't Mom, who do you think it should be? I know, the uncle, right?

Posted by Mad Bull at 10:41 PM | Comments (12)

Tankyu!

Thanks to all of you who commented here last week. I did very well, for me... Lets see, two posts with more than ten comments and a few with more than five... You all have indeed been bountiful.

I know by reading a lot of blogs that many bloggers feel that they would write to their blogs even if no one was commenting or reading it. Speaking for myself, I need for people to read what I have written. I especially love it when they come back, or comment upon what I have wrote, because that gives me the impression that I'm not doing too badly here.

Again, thanks for coming, please come again, because I do it all for you... Actually, I do it for me too, but if you all don't come. I'll have to find another way to get my jollies.... mmmmbye!

Posted by Mad Bull at 09:55 PM | Comments (4)

March 09, 2003

Some More Stuff

The riotous colors of spring... Yes, my friends up north, Spring is here in Jamrock. Take heart. Verily I say unto you, it will eventually warm up where you are. Until then know this. I sit in the warmth, hoist many Appletons and think warm thoughts of you. Muaahhhhhaahaaahaaahhaaaa!

Finally, check this out. A Mercedes Benz even I can afford! Yippee!!!

At least, I think I can afford it?! See you tomorrow.

Posted by Mad Bull at 10:45 PM | Comments (5)

Thats It!

I saw this today at Say Bajomba!

FRODO HAS FAILED. BUSH HAS THE RING.

It is in the middle of a post talking about the increasing price of gasolene and about the terrorist-like qualities of Bill Gates. Its just sitting there, not really connected to the rest of the post. Almost as if it was snuck in to the post, and the rest of the post was meant to camoflage it. When I saw it, it hit me...

My Word!

It must be right! What else could explain all the crap thats going on nowadays...

Bobby G. (of Say Bajomba) seems to have unearthed a startling truth, which he wants to let the rest of us in on, but at the same time, without putting the lives of his family in danger...

Go see for yourselves... mull over it some... then we can get back together. We have to plan what we're going to do to combat this great evil!

Posted by Mad Bull at 01:18 PM | Comments (1)

Miscellaneous B.S

So how is your Sunday morning so far?

Mine is going okay now, but earlier was rough... MBJr. went to bed early last night, unlike Natty and myself... This morning he tortured me awake, over and over and over.... Eventually I gave in. I kotched up my eyelids with two matchsticks and got out of bed... Luckily the day has been improving steadily ever since.

I was reading the Jamaica Gleaner online and came across an article on Shaggy. Apparently he did a spot of acting in a movie. Good stuff! I wonder if he was any good? I like Shaggy, he is a great artiste. Having read the article, I decided to take a listen to his album, 'Lucky Day'. Its a pretty good album, mon! My favourite songs on it are 'Hey, Sexy Lady' which I'm sure he sang with Natty in mind, 'Strength of a Woman', which I am sure was also done as a tribute to Natty, and 'Lucky Day', in which he put himself in my shoes when I was courting the Nattalini initially ... I've included links for you to listen to the first two tunes, but if you want to know what went on when I was first courting Natty, you'll have to buy the album or search for the song online, 'k? Probably thats why I love this album, its obviously all about me and my family!

Last night, Natty invited Diego and Phil around for dinner. She cooked Shrimp Fried Rice and Chicken Chop Suey, and it was great! Those guys did much to endear themselves to us, as they brought dessert, cake from Guilt Trip! MMMMMmmmmmmm! Yummy!

After dinner, we played some Kalooki, and I raced away with the early lead. We hadn't played in quite some time, so I was tempted to tell them to take a break and allow me to compose a short sonnet which would extoll my virtues and proclaim to all that I "still had it!", but luckily, I didn't. I led the whole way through the match, but Phil pipped me in the final game. Can you imagine? Awful! Anyway, at least I came in second...

Later we are supposed to go up to a friend's apartment in the complex for a barbeque. It should be fun. Barbecued Steak and Chicken, rum and good company... plus, MBJr. will have other kids to play with, so we can relax and not have to entertain him so much... The evening is filled with promise!

Oonoo must try fi enjoy oonoo self too, 'cause tomorrow, is work again! (You all must try to enjoy yourselves too, because tomorrow, we go out back to work!) See you later...

Posted by Mad Bull at 10:04 AM | Comments (2)

March 08, 2003

15 Things

15 Things to do in Walmart while your spouse / significant other / friend takes their time browsing (shamelessly stolen from the forums over by Whaddat?COM... Why did I steal them? 'Cause they're funny, thats why!)

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3 in housewares,'...and see what happens.

5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,'Why can't you people just leave me alone?

9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from 'Mission Impossible'.

12. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.

13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say, 'PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!!'

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream, 'NO! NO! It's those voices again'.

15. Go into a fitting room and yell real loudly ... 'Hey! We're out of toilet paper in here!'.

You know, I like forums... Do you like forums? I would like to put up a forum, but I don't know if I would have enough traffic to make it worthwhile.... What do you think?

Posted by Mad Bull at 09:17 AM | Comments (6)

March 07, 2003

Somebody's Pussycat Get Away

I've never been fond of cats. They're too stand-offish for me. Nope, no cats for me... unless they are nice l'il pussy cats. Somebody else's nice l'il pussy cat... Yessir, there here is a certain specie of cat that I love! Anyway, I decided to give this l'il pussy cat that I met recently a chance to let all my readers hear her plaintive meow. She busted out tonight. She has escaped and is running amok! You can read what she has to say at the Tower of Babel.

I'm a big fan of all the writers at the Tower... I just wish they'd write more... Like Seven... I wish she'd write something. She hasn't written anything in centuries. Midas! Tell her to write a l'il sup'm-sup'm for us, nuh? Cho, Mon!

Posted by Mad Bull at 11:25 PM | Comments (1)

March 06, 2003

Great Aspirations

So today at lunch time, I saw this group of women in the Billing Department eating lunch together at their desks... I noticed that they seemed to have gone out and bought Chinese food, all but one of them, who was eating from a smaller dish. I noticed that she was eating what looked like a home cooked meal, with lots of lettuce and celery and other green leafy vegetables and a sprinkling with corn, as well as roasted chicken.

I said to her "Karla, don't you eat Chinese food too? How come you didn't get some Chinese like the others?".
She told me that she didn't eat those things as she wasn't sure what they put into it or how greasy it was. She had gotten into the habit of preparing her own lunch and bringing it with her, so as to avoid the unhealthy fast foods that are available in the New Kingston area.

I noted that it must take a lot of dedication to drive her to do that every day. She said to me that she had a goal and she meant to attain it. She wants to have a tummy like Halle Berry and a butt like Serena Williams. Now that is a worthy goal indeed, don't you agree?

Check out Halle in her role as Jazz, coming out of the water in Die Another Day? Look at her tummy, Iya! Check out her waist! Yow, she was a say ONE! (She was looking real good)

Then Serena! You done know (already know) that she leaves me speechless! What a girl batty a shock out! (What a nice butt she has!). Picture in your mind a woman who has this combination of "ass"ets... My word!

And you know what? Karla is not that far off attaining her goal. She does seem to have a flat tummy! She is small waisted and, as Sean Paul said, "her batty haffi cock!", and it is.

You know, we need more women to set these goals for themselves. We need to hold women like this up as a role model, Iya! They are working for the greater good! Respect to Karla, you simi!

Posted by Mad Bull at 05:55 PM | Comments (22)

Major Model?

We have spoken about her before... A former exotic dancer, now turned international model. It would seem that her life has been totally turned around. This morning's Jamaica Gleaner has her as the Number One lead story. She has done a photo shoot for French Vogue magazine. Modelling agencies are clamouring to represent her... Pulse is currently involved in her management...

I only hope they manage her well, and really look out for her and not just how she can make them all money. Imagine where she's coming from. Imagine further, that these companies that end up managing her take advantage of her, and that when she is finished modelling, she doesn't have a dime. Imagine driving past a gas station somewhere here in Kingston in ten years and seeing her pumping gas for a living . That would be a pity. I hope that isn't her fate... I hope it really turns out well for her.

Posted by Mad Bull at 06:37 AM | Comments (2)

March 05, 2003

Sperm Bandits, huh?

Why are women seeking to get with you men... or if they're not, why not? Interesting question, isn't it?

A lot of people cite money as a major factor in how women choose the men they want. Some (who are more idealistic) point to love. What do you think it is?

My good friend Anonymous from picong.com believes that women seek to get with men with the right DNA. Its all about the men who, when their DNA is combined with the woman's, stand the best chance of producing the most handsome (or beautiful), and / or the most intelligent children! What do you think of that theory? It sounds a bit Darwinian, but go read what Anonymous has to say before you laugh at it, 'k?

Posted by Mad Bull at 11:36 PM | Comments (3)

What a Gwaan

On the night of my birthday, we all went up to the apartment furthest into the complex. We got out plastic chairs, drank up some rum and Smirnoff and cracked jokes and told duppy (ghost) stories. We had a lot of fun.

That was Monday night. Last night, I stayed home and did a few posts on the old bloggety blog. The evidence is below.

Anyway, Natty went in to bed at around eleven thirty or so. I stayed up until maybe 3:00 AM, since today is a Jamaican public holiday (Ash Wednesday). I was up and about though, and I could hear her and MBJr. cutting some strong Z's in the bedroom as I moved back and forth. Anyway, at about 3:00, I stumbled my way into the bedroom only to see this white thing floating in the air and moving toward me. I uttered a strangled yelp of sheer terror, as the unidentified floating object moved jerkily toward me. Then, as my eyes acclimatised to the darkness, I realised that the apparition was none other than Natty, who had come awake and was answering the call of nature.

I felt a bit stupid, but she was only half awake, so she didn't even laugh at me. You think my reaction had anything to do with the little lime up by our friend's apartment?

Anyway, we are just getting back home. We went to the airport to pick up Diego, who is just back from Toronto. It was a nice day, and we had a nice drive going out there and back. There was a lot of breeze out there, which was blowing dust into our eyes. MBJr. didn't like that much, but he did enjoy seeing the planes (once they shut off the jet engines... The howl from the engines scared him a bit).

We saw a few people we know at the airport as well. Apparently the BeeWee plane was just in from Trinidad, bringing with it many Jamaicans who had gone to Trinidad to Carnival. The ones we saw told us it was absolutely fantastic!

One of the men we saw that we knew (lets call him Wharf Dog) was chatting to us for awhile as he waited on his people to pick him up. All of a sudden, a woman walked up and touched him in the back. He turned around, smiled, then grabbed her and kissed her. He then turned back to face us and said "You guys haven't met my wife, have you?".
Natty said "We never knew you guys had gotten married! Congrats!".
They laughed it off. I then said "How long have you been married?".
They replied "Four Weeks!".
"Wow!" I said. I turned to the wife. "You were just married for four weeks and you sent him off to Carnival in Trinidad?!".
She laughed and replied "I know. But now he owes me, bigtime!".
I turned back to him and said "I need to have a word with you sometime, I need some tips or something...".
He just laughed.

Anyway, I asked Natty afterwards if she didn't want us to go to Trini Carnival next year and she said yes, so I guess I won't be needing his tip after all...

Later...

Posted by Mad Bull at 03:28 PM | Comments (4)

March 04, 2003

Caesars Online

Caesars is reputed to be the hottest strip joint in Kingston. I hear they serve up live sex on "Freaky Fridays". I see they're online now, though I suppose the site is not yet complete, because the pictures are offered for free now. Also, the pictures are kind of dark. Caesars look like they need a good photographer.

Hey, Dr. D takes some pretty good pictures and he isn't married like me... I wonder if they'd give him a tryout? Hmmm...

Posted by Mad Bull at 11:49 PM | Comments (4)

Sixty Five Feels Good!

So I went to visit Sixty Five again... I turned into his hotel room and his bed was empty ! The room wasn't completely empty though... The other patient who was sharing a room with him was still there, and he had about three people with him, as usual.

I did an aboutface and went to the nurse's station just outside the room and enquired what had become of him. The nurse reassured me that he was OK, and told me that he had moved into the room next door. I turned and made my way into the other room, and sure enough, there he was...

I asked him why he had moved from the other room.
"I couldn't take it! I simply couldn't get any sleep!" he said.

He went on to tell me that the man he had been sharing the room with was a heart patient, like he was. He was there to do an operation as well, but he was always having visitors. Apparently he was some big businessman. Sixty Five assumed that because the Governor of the Bank of Jamaica had come to visit him. Apparently he was so vital to his organisation that he could not take a break, not even to do his surgery! Apparently he was having meetings in his hospital room. He would constantly have between three to seven people in there and they would go over the day's workplan, with him giving instructions nineteen to the dozen.

When he wasn't in a meeting, he was on his cell, checking to see that his instructions were carried out, or conferring with his horse trainer (apparently he is involved in Horseracing as an owner).

He also seemed to be quite a womaniser too, as Sixty Five told me that he was always trying to arrange with his friends to bring one of his several girlfriends to visit him. He kept himself busy scheming so as to ensure that their paths didn't cross with one another OR with his wife! Sixty Five said that he had seen at least four of them, in addition to his wife. One of his girlfriends was a nineteen year old Cuban girl (Sixty Five said that she was very pretty). I asked him how he knew she was nineteen, and he said the man had volunteered this information to him.

Sixty Five said "After seeing how he operates, I've come to the conclusion that he has more money than me, and not just one or two dollars more either!"
"That sounds like an understatement! To have four young grlfriends when you are in your sixties, you HAVE to have a lot of cash!" I replied.
"He'd better not get with any of them before his operation though" said Sixty Five. "He might end up going instead of coming!"

I can tell Sixty Five is feeling a lot better than when he went in...

Posted by Mad Bull at 10:11 PM | Comments (4)

When You Have Trouble...

Here is a nice tune to listen to when you're feeling down and out, or something is stressing you out to the max. Its by George Nooks, its called "God is Standing By". Listen

Listen to it and tell me if you like it, 'k? Its pretty small. its only about thirty seconds worth, so it'll download really quickly, so don't hesitate to try it...

Posted by Mad Bull at 09:01 PM | Comments (5)

March 03, 2003

Who Da Thunk It!

Well, well, well... Did you know that a can of Diet Coke will float? And that a can of Classic Coke will not? This ones courtesy of Double F. T., folks, and if oonoo doan believe, go try it fi oonoo self. Awoah! (If all y'all don't believe it, try it for yourselves)

Apparently it has to do with the sweetner thats in the different drinks. The Diet Coke uses an artificial sweetner (Aspartame) which is 200 times sweeter than sugar and is lighter. As a result, they put in much less of that sweetner than the amount of sugar they would have to put into the Coke Classic, ergo less weight! It floats, baby, you try it.

Hmmm, you might even be able to win money off this info, you know, through betting people that you can get a can of Coke to float, or something like that. If you should succeed in doing so, send me ten percent of the proceeds, because it was my idea, seen? (agreed?) Later, mah peeps...

Posted by Mad Bull at 09:07 AM | Comments (17)

March 02, 2003

The Real World

Sometimes the real world can get all up in your face, leaving you without time for Cyberia. Sometimes that is a good thing, but sometimes it is a bad thing too...

Suffice it to say that the real world deh bout the Mad Bull's Blog right now... Can't really find the vibe to build a decent blog post... But don't worry... I vill be baaaack!

Since I don't have much to say, go to Girls in the Bag. Read this entry : 'Tales from the bus'. I knew such things happened, hell, I used to ride the bus too, ya know, I just didn't think that sometimes the women involved might be enjoying themselves too...

Posted by Mad Bull at 07:30 AM | Comments (7)