March 31, 2005
My Son's First Post
Someone said to me recently that if I model the behavior I wanted from MBJr., he would pick it up much faster than if I relied solely on punishments to get the behavior. Clearly there is something in what they say, because he does want to do the stuff that he sees me doing. Nowadays, whenever I sit down at the computer to type, MBJr. comes over and wants to type stuff too... Actually, the Smileys that are available on my blog have increased the pulling power. Anyway, tonight, he and I spent the evening typing away on the blog... little does he know that most of what we wrote wasn't posted. Eventually, he grew tired of typing (hunting and pecking will do that to you) and so he started to dictate stuff for me to write, leaving him to just add whichever smiley he thought was appropriate, at the points he thought they were best suited. Anyway, below is my son's first post. He dictated this below, even down to the choice of smiley! He did write it, I swear! Yesterday, it was really weird. I met a groovy girl in the fourth grade. she got an a-plus. I was sure she would like me, because I got an a-plus in all my tests. We started our friendship by going to the park, then we went to the fair.I won her a prize. It was a stuffed puppy. She was so surprised when she saw it that she was screaming by her bedside when she got home. She was screaming so loud that I bet people could hear her from a mile away! Well, that was an interesting day, but I'm still not sure if shes the right one for me.  I am proud, but at the same time, I wonder if I need to keep a closer eye, kna'mean? A first grader going out with a fourth grader? And whats all that screaming stuff? Hmmm... 
Posted by Mad Bull at 11:01 PM
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His and Her Diaries
We're all human, right, but no matter how you look at it, men and women are just very, very different. Why do you think that the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" was written? Its because its a fact! We are as different from each other as can be. Thats why they say that men will never understand women. Thats why Trouble gone and go get himself in what? Trouble! Bwoy, Trouble me bredrin, sometimes you just have to stop worrying on it, because you are a man, and as such, you are destined never to understand the workings of the female mind. If you ever get the idea that you do understand them, that is when you have to worry, because you can't. You can however take some comfort from the fact that sometimes (not all, unfortunately  ) women have the dickance (sp?) of a time understanding men too! Of course, many of you, my dear readers, will scoff at this! You won't believe me! Let me offer this little titbit to prove my point! His and Her DiariesHER DIARY
Sunday night I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment. Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and aloof. I asked him what was wrong? He said, "Nothing." I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.
He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry. On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love you, too."
When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV; he seemed distant and vacant. Finally I decided to go to bed.
About 10 minutes later he came to bed and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that his thoughts were somewhere else. I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep. I started crying and cried until I also fell asleep. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
HIS DIARY
Today Lara made 191, he missed the double century by just nine runs! But at least I got laid. Get the point? You give in now? 
Posted by Mad Bull at 10:20 PM
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March 30, 2005
Chat 'Bout.
I have been doing a little work on the pictures that show up at the top of this page. I added three new ones tonight and I took down one. Tell me how you like the new ones, ok? Which one did I take down? The one of the couple kissing in the waterfall... Natty didn't like it, she said the man looked flabby...  I thought he looked ok, but she asked me like three times, so down they came. I absolutely love one of the new ones that I put up, can you guess which one? So I was having some religious discussion with a couple of co-workers today. One of them was going on and on about how God didn't exist. He said he does acknowledge that there is something greater out there. He said he believes that this greater power created the earth and the solar system, etc., etc., but that he doesn't see this greater power in the same way that we do... You wah know how the man see it? Click the link down deh den!
MORE...
Posted by Mad Bull at 09:32 PM
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March 28, 2005
Congrats
My yute (MBJr.) got his first report card today! It was pretty damned good, if I do say so myself! I am very proud of him. The main area that he has been weak in is in recognising authority. As an example, his teacher said that he doesn't like quiet at all, and whenever the class gets quiet, he will start to act up, making noise. Apparently he often makes noise in class and when the teacher tells him to stop, he doesn't listen. She said that it is like he is trying to annoy her, just for annoying her's sake. I wonder where he could have gotten such rotten bahavior from?!  Anyway, we will have to work with him, I guess. I am glad for his (mostly) fabulous report. I hope he keeps it up, and even improves on the areas where he has fallen down. Hell, I don't even know if I ever got such a good report! In fact, I doubt it! Big up my yute!  You know what was also interesting? They mailed the report to Mr. Mad Bull... not Mr. and Mrs. Mad Bull or any such variation. Natty was a bit taken aback by that. "Why did they mail his report card just to you?", she asked. "How you mean?", I replied. "Don't you see that they realise that it is I who runs things?". Natty didn't like my reply either. She replied in this wise...  Wait! On second thought, I think I do know where he gets that bad behavior from!
Posted by Mad Bull at 06:34 PM
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March 26, 2005
The Road to Negril
Have you ever wondered how some people see you.... You have an idea of yourself. It is the way you are! You think its obvious to everybody, but... at some level, you wonder if that really is the way people see you! This feeling, I'm sure, can be recognised by most people. At the same time, this feeling can be magnified! By magnified, I mean, not just encompassing one person, or a neighbourhood, but actually an entire town, or a city, a region or even a country...
You understand me, don't? If not, have another Rum&Pepsi, or a stick of weed, or whatever gets your mind going, seen. You'll understand what I have to say, eventually. Anyway, while you have this self-important impression of yourself, sometimes it can be informative to check out what others think about you.
I came across this interesting little piece of a native of North America. It discusses the American's first impressions of Jamaica. Are his impressions mirroring the view we have of ourselves? Maybe, maybe not, still it can be informative and interesting to see how others view us...
Without further ado, I give you "Negril Notes"! Read on, nuh? :
The Road To Negril (Circa 2/94)
I consider myself lucky to have experienced "The Road to Negril" at least once before the new road came through. It was February 1994 and "Highway 2000" was still a sketch on someone's planning board. I know many of the more seasoned Negrilistas will read this and think, 1994? You should have seen it in '68, back then we had to hack our way through the jungle, it was uphill, BOTH WAYS!"
I totally give in. I'm sure I missed so much, though I bet someday my daughter will say, "Oh, how I long for the Negril I knew before the Spaceport!"
It was my first trip to Jamaica. I was about to turn thirty, recently divorced, my first vacation since my honeymoon 10 years earlier. I was traveling alone and was headed to Hedonism II. I got off the plane, through immigration, baggage and customs, and then I was herded onto the Hedo mini-bus. It was all a blur.
Sitting on the bus as people filed in, I was so excited! There I was, in a real foreign country on a beat up old bus with about a dozen other people headed to paradise for 5 days of hedonistic wildness! After a few minutes and a few official looking people poking their heads into the bus, a large imposing black man got on, he looked us over, did a head count and scribbled on some papers. Suddenly a big smile erupted on his face as he introduced himself, "My name is Satchwell, The Driver, Two Hours to Hedonism!" We all cheered! We were on our way to Negril!
As soon as we cleared the airport complex Satchwell started handing back ice cold Red Stripes from a red cooler on the floor between the front seats. The second that cold beer hit the back of my throat my stress level began dropping. Ya Mon! The story continues... click the link below...
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Posted by Mad Bull at 08:51 PM
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Might As Well Go Fishing...
So, hows your weekend going so far? Mine is a bit slow, but its ok. I'm not complaining at any rate. Anyway, I thought I'd drop a little joke on you, just to vibes up your weekend. Of course, its a joke about a Jamaican. Check it out... A young man from Jamaica moves to Miami and goes to a big department shopping complex looking for a job. The manager says, "Do you have any sales experience"? The Jamaican young man says, "Bossie, mi was a salesman back home on di streets a Kingston." Well, the boss liked him so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I’ll come down after we close and see how you did."His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many sales did you make today?" The Jamaican young man says, "Man, Just ONE sale". The boss says, "Just one? No! No! No! You see here our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. If you want to keep this job, you'd better be doing better than just one sale. By the way, how much was the sale for?". The Jamaican young man says, "$301,237.64"
Boss says, "$301,237.64? What the hell did you sell?" The Jamaican young man: "Bossie, fus mi sell him one little fish hook. Den mi sell him a medium size fish hook. Den mi sell him l big fish hook. Den mi sell him one fishing rod an sum fishing tings. Den mi ask him whey him a go fishing, an him seh dung de coast, so mi tell him sey him a go want one boat, so we go dung a de boating department an mi sell him one twin engine cris craft. Den him seh him nuh think him Honda Civic can pull it, so mi tek him dung a wi automotive department an mi sell him di 4X4 Blazer. Then mi ask him whey him a go sleep, an since him neva have nuh weh, mi tek him dung a di camping department an sell him one a di new Igloo 6-sleeper camper tents. Then the man seh, while we deh pon it, mi might as well fling in about a $100.00 wut a groceries and two case ah beer." The boss said, "You're not serious? A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a Boat, a 4x4 truck and a tent?!" The Jamaican young man says, "No sah, him come in yah fi buy one box of tampons fi him wife, and mi tell him seh “Well, since yuh weekend mash up, yuh might jus as well go do some fishing." Well, I don't know about you but that one sure did hit the spot for me! I hope y'all liked it too... TTYL
Posted by Mad Bull at 12:00 PM
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March 25, 2005
Paradise Lost
Not too long ago Doctor D put us all in a reflective state of mind, remembering our last rides on Jolly Bus and stuff like that... tonight, in my travels through Cyberia, I bucked up another Yardie blogger who had this post that was doing the same thing. The rude bwoy hails from Montego Bay still, so some things are not a part of my recollections, but some if it was quite similar to my own experiences, and it was well written, and I found it quite interesting. I include below an excerp from his material and a link to his site so oonoo can go check out the rest of it, seen? Nestled in the not so far hills off the coast of Montego Bay(the second city, the apotheosis of a synergy of rural and urban life) is Paradise Acres.
Welcome to Paradise Acres September 1992:
The preamble
Just to put you into context, in 1992 Baywest Shopping Centre was yet to be finished, Blue Diamond Cinema was a feature attraction, Margueritaville was far from the minds of most party goers, the thing was Pier One. School fee was $300, lunch at the Cornwall College canteen came to the grand total of $15 (for a patty cocobread and box drink). Shalman Scott or Arthur Gilchrist was still mayor, Bogue was undeveloped, Lagoons was never there, and the Montego Bay promenade looked very vintage, board walks, board buildings and the works.
Moving to the stage
It is 4 o' clock in the afternoon, on any given Friday. School is out for the weekend, no one has plans for doing their homework till Sunday. Several Cornwall College students return to Paradise from extra classes at Montego Bay High School, where they all probably spent the afternoon fantasizing about their Spanish teacher Miss Cogle.... Liked it so far? Wanna read the rest? Gwaan go do it nuh? On a totally different tack, its a Friday, and I decided to answer a bunch of questions posed on one of those "meme" websites... The Friday Feast is the site... here are the questions they asked, and also, there are my responses. Appetizer - What is the worst movie you've ever seen?
Well, there have been many of those, so its hard to pick a single worst one. Tell you what, I'll tell you what the worst one I've seen this year was, hows that? As far as I can recall, that was "The Chronicles of Riddick".
Soup - Name something that reminds you of your childhood.
Well, the post that I linked above did a pretty good job of that. Also this post by Ciya on the Tower, titled "Sunday Afternoon"...
Salad - If you had to live in a large city, which one would you want it to be?
Hmmm... Kingston, if it weren't so crime-ridden. If it were to be overseas, well, I don't have much experience in big cities anywhere but in Jamaica and the U.S., so my choices will be limited to those places... maybe Atlanta would do it. I liked New York when I was there, but it was a little hectic, you know? Plus, I'd miss driving... L.A. was irie, but me 'fraid of the earthquakes.
Main Course - What's a "big word" you like to use to impress people?
Hmmm.... 'impress' has favourable connotations, doesn't it? Now my favourite big word is bumborassclaat, as in "Man, you bumborassclaat!", probably most frequently used when driving. Thats not really going to impress people though, and on a whole, I don't use a lot of big words... maybe I shouldn't answer this question, what do you think?
Dessert - Describe your hairstyle.
Hmmm... its kind of short. I tried out something new today... I was not really hungry, but the stomach was crying out for something hot, you know? I didn't want to tip back coffee at this time, and I didn't feel 100% for either tea OR Milo. You will recall how I used to extoll the virtues of that wonderful drink, Cofflo? Well tonight I had Mitea, pronounced "mighty", which was a mixture of tea and Milo. I happened to use that tea that Doctor D is always bigging up too, the Earl Grey sup'm. It was another winner, though next time I'll tip in a tad more milo. Give it a whirl, people, its pretty good. Anywayz, I-man gone for now, you know...
Posted by Mad Bull at 09:18 PM
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BTW
By the way, what oonoo think about this Terry Schiavo business... So the husband has managed to convince others (including the US Supreme Court) that Terry wants to die rather than to live how she is living... Hey, is eight days now that they have been starving this woman who can't even tell them if she changed her mind you know? Some of the people in the United States are barbaric to ra$$, you know?!  Hey, if you even do decide that you are going to euthanise the poor woman, why would you choose to have her death drag out so long?! Surely it would be better to just wait till she falls asleep and just shoot her in the head and end her suffering quickly? Even that seems to be more humane to me! Why have this shyte dragging on and on? What are your thoughts?
Posted by Mad Bull at 03:18 PM
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March 24, 2005
Whats the Plan?
So, the long weekend is here at last! Wheee!!! I need a little R&R, bwoy! I wonder what I should do with the little holiday? Hmmm? By the way, what are you going to do with your weekend? I've been touching base with a few people over here as to their weekend plans. They have all kinds of different plans. The most interesting sounding one was by this South African guy who is my bank's network administrator. He and his wife flew up to Florida today. They will be linking up with some friends they have there and they will be sailing a big yacht north along the Florida coast. Sounds like it could be a lot of fun, nuh true? Of course, they don't have any kids so whenever they want to they can just pick up and go off on these types of excursions. These sort of things may not be for everyone. The wierdest one to me was the suggestion that I go camping out in my back yard!  A lady I was talking to asked me what Natty and I had planned. I told her I didn't have any plans and she said, "So you not even going to camp out in your backyard or wha'?". I told her that I had never thought of such a thing! She went on talking about it as though it were a really viable option! I was like, "Is mad this girl mad or wha'?". Then I got to thinking about it... its probably something that one could get away with over here in Grand Cayman, you know! Its not something I would ever do back home, but the people are not so blood thirsty over here, so maybe its something that one could do over here... not that the idea appealed to me still, but it probably is something do-able, you know? Anyway, me naw go do dat, thats for sure! Of course, it being a long weekend, you done know that some enterprising person/group has some kind of event planned! This weekend, they're having the "Million Dollar Run!". What the hell is that, you might well ask! Well, thats all about some big superboat race. This year, they will be racing offshore by the Kaibo Yacht Club (I think!) Yes sah, apparently they have this big race here every year. The winner of the race wins a million big ones, but apparently that is not that big a deal for the copmpetitors. Apparently all the competitors are big millionaires already! You have to be to own these kinds of boats, I guess. The real prize is to be able to boast that you won the "Million Dollar Run"! The money is just to pique public interest and to make it a bit more interesting. Have a look at this boat. Apparently this boat was a winner of this race in the past.  Pretty, innit? Certainly not your run-of-the-mill custom everyday 68' Hatteras, though I'd probably prefer the Sport Fisherman, to tell you the truth... I've been giving some thought to driving to wherever they are having this race and giving it a look-see, but I thought to ask a few people first... apparently you don't really watch the race! Most of it takes place far enough offshore that no one really knows whats going on with the race from moment to moment onshore! "So why them hyping up the race on the radio so?" I asked a bredrin at work. "Rah!", he answered. "You don't care whats going on in the race! You're onshore beating up plenty juice and taking in all the eye candy on the beach, Iyah!"... Well, that does sound kind of feasible to me!  There is plenty of eye candy, as can be seen by these pictures of such events here on island, kindly hosted by Vibe FM. Anyway, maybe I'll go to the boat race, but whatever happens, I MUST get in so sea, sun and sand this weekend. Apart from that, I don't know... maybe I'll do some reading on and coding in ASP.Net! I have all the software here at home, ready to unleash on Compi, so we shall see... Enough about me, how are you going to spend your weekends? Tell me nuh? Tell all in my comments! (A bare-faced beg for comments if ever I have seen one!) Anyway, me gone go pour another rum and settle in to watch a DVD - "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow". Its probably crap, but hey... its got a decent Rotten Tomatoes rating, so... later, yah! Y'all have a happy Maundy Thursday and may the rest of your Easter Weekend be just what you want it to be, whether holy or happy, or both, if thats possible...
Posted by Mad Bull at 08:30 PM
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March 23, 2005
Me Tired. Good Night.
Bwoy, mi tyad you see! I worked all day Saturday and Sunday and then I am writing this from work. I am just now finished what I came back to work to do, but I need to hold a sleep still. As such, doh expect nutting tonight, seen? Peace!
Posted by Mad Bull at 10:04 PM
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March 22, 2005
Check This One Out!
"Woman kills herself so blind sons can see!", screamed the headline...
"But corneas of little use to her children, doctors say".
But if you ever see my dying trials? What madness is this, eeeh? I couldn't believe it. A woman killed herself so that her corneas might be utilized to help her sons see.... what stupidity selflessness! And then, after reading on, to see that it was all in vain, and that her sons cannot make use of her corneas. Apparently the nature of their eye problem was of such that her corneas would have served no purpose. The doctors say that they told the family that more than once and yet the woman killed herself anyway. You know what I think? That woman was either badly depressed / deranged and was just using her sons as an excuse for killing herself, or the police better start checking really hard into the possibility that her husband killed her and was trying to explain her death away, bwoy! To further the stupidity, I heard that her family is refusing to let her corneas be used for anyone else other than her sons, even though her sons have no need for them! Pure stupidity!
Posted by Mad Bull at 08:48 PM
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March 21, 2005
Dem Fly Di Gate
Well folks, you heard it here first! The police have released Sizzla Kalonji! Its not even in any of the online papers, but I, Mad Bull, have the news flash! I am sure that you will remember that they swept him up in a raid last week Thursday or Friday, a raid which netted the police a huge haul in high powered weapons? They locked up several other men and took Sizzla in for questioning over an arms find, and a big one too... Well, apparently they have released the reggae singer. Sizzla has denied knowing about the guns and he has also denied having any part of the war that is currently going on in August Town. Of course, we would not have expected him to admit being involved anyway, now would we? I wonder if the police have proved Sizzla to have had no part in relation to the guns they found, or is it simply that they couldn't find any proof that he was involved? Of course, it goes without saying that if he was guilty, I would have wanted him to be locked up and the key thrown away! Still, there is always the chance that he is not guilty, you simi? I also wonder how his release will affect what the war of words between the Barbadian police and the promoter's of a stage show that Sizzla is supposed to perform on in Barbados shortly? The Police Commissioner was trying to influence the powers that be not to grant Sizzla a work permit to allow him to perform on the show due to the fact that the Jamaican police picked him up for questioning. The promoters of the stage show have been protesting what the Police Commissioner had to say in a most vociferous manner... We shall just have to see, I suppose. Anyway, for now, Sizzla is free. In other news, yesterday I hooked up the ladies, and now today I give the male readers of my site a link to go view some nice looking females. These ladies are from the Jamaica Star, which has two nice looking ladies on one day, which is not necessarily an everyday thing. Celebrat this, rude bwoys! Follow the link them. The first link is for the men who like slim, sexy ladies, and the other is for those who like women gifted with a more voluptuous figure.  Check them out, rude bwoys... I can't guarantee how long these links will be valid either. By the way, to all y'all who've been reading here for awhile and think that they know me, take a guess as to which of these daughters would be my personal selection. C'mon, you have a fifty percent chance of getting it right. Try it out nuh? Latah.
Posted by Mad Bull at 07:23 PM
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March 20, 2005
Gulp!
Oh Ra$$! I just saw this! I mean, I had read that Dyoll Insurance company had gone belly-up because of all the insurance claims that swamped it since Ivan, but I didn't really stop to think about it much... Then I read the first news story I linked above. Policies issued by Cayman Insurance Center, who has the policy on Natty's car and on my car, are in fact Dyoll policies! That means if Natty and I drive out to work tomorrow and some likkle careless b*mbo cl*at causes us to hit them, or if they hit us and are inadequately insured, we don't have any money to get!  Bwoy, at least it happens as the period of insurance coverage is drawing to a close, and to be truthful, they did fix up the CRV after the storm, so I have to be thankful for Dyoll/Cayman Insurance Center still! I only hope that Omar Davies stays as far away as he can from Dyoll, bwoy, because he will only make matters worse! Next thing all the insurance companies from Yard * will start to fold now! For myself, I will just have to be extra careful till I get some more coverage, thats all! You know, if I didn't read that article, I would be perfectly relaxed tomorrow, but now that I have read this, I'm going to be pretty bummy (worried) tomorrow morning! You know how my luck with cars stay already!  By the way, a little bredrin from Yard (is Paddy we call him, can you believe it? Can you get anymore Irish-sounding than that?) gave me a talk this evening re Omar Davies! He told me that recently Omar attended the funeral of one of his followers from his political constituency. Apparently the poor fellow had died "by the gun". Anyway, while Omar was at the funeral, about nine bad men came unto the scene with high-powered weapons and started to lick shot left, right and center! Apparently Omar's bodyguards quickly surrounded him and in two twos they had whisked him away from the church! I am surprised, and shocked, even! I would have thought that when the chips were down, the protective detail assigned by the police might have run screaming to the hills, leaving Omar with no option but to get flat! Respec' to those policemen, rasta! Big up! Doc, you did hear about this little story? Is it the real deal that I'm getting from my Yardie bredrin over here? The next thing I read was that we got a bigshot policeman from Britain to help out our Commish! Bwoy, I wish the Commish and his British second every success, but I also read that the British dude, along with plenty other police, had to run for their lives recently when they were touring a rough neighbourhood back a Yard! Apparently a gunman opened up on them with a silenced, high powered rifle, and they had was to high tail it out of the area!  What a thing Yard coming to, eeeh? Hey, Saturday night, I got a major ass whupping at dominos! Bwoy, it were rough, I tell you! Hey, you know how Google is such a great resource for information? I wonder if I can find a webpage or two that can teach me the finer points of the game of dominos? Jdid, what do you think? Oonoo gimme a link or two nuh man?! Or if you know how I can get better, give me some tips yourself! Help a brother out, nuh man?! Oh, and by the way, judging by Melody's enthusiastic comments, ladies, you might find clicking the link to go see Trouble's new tattoo to be worth your while, know what I mean? Now don't let it be said that I haven't hooked my lady readers up on some flesh too, yuh zimi? Heh heh heh...
Posted by Mad Bull at 09:25 PM
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March 19, 2005
Hap-py Birfday!
  Well, M'Buthuezi's birfday is here at last!!! She is 29 today (again), and I implore you all to big her up and wish her many happy returns. Later on, I will bring her on to Compi and show her what y'all had to say and ting...
Big tings a gwaan for her on her twenty-ninth too... she has been getting calls from bulls and bull-cousins all across the U.S. and Canada already and I expect a deluge of calls to inundate Cable and Worthless' switches today, rendering Cayman incommunicado for probably the entire weekend. Remember, if you want to wish her happy birthday, y'all can do it here if oonoo can't get through when you want to call, zeen! Also, she just bought herself a nice little car and she has plans to get herself her owna place in the near future, so this is definitely a new and exciting time for her... C'mon, y'all, join me and say Happy Birthday
M'Buthulezi!!!
Posted by Mad Bull at 08:06 AM
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March 17, 2005
St. Patrick's Day to the 'Drop Leaf'
So, the 'Drop Leaf' riddim continues to 'tek life!' Everybody who is anybody has a song out on this riddim. Of course, Tanya Stephens has to have one too.... Her song is called "After You" and her lyrics go something like this... Baby, when you left me,
My life was instantly transformed to hell!
and I used to ache so hard, Oh God! And I thought this poor heart could never get well
and I used to wonderAfter you,
What am I going to do,
What am I going to do,
Baby, after you... Wo-oah Well, me a put on a sad face, and the judge gimi the yard,
and me a run up X amount of bills pon you platinum card
Me throw a tantrum,
'cause me nose a run inna court
so me get enough to live nice offa child support Mi fren' dem luv you!
'cause dem drinking inna your H-Q
Me couldn't fit inna di Benz
so me give thanks for the H-2 Me know a you lef' me
and me, a while me did ah bawl,
But me tell dem seh a me lef' you
because you buddy too small! After you?!
Heres what I'm gonna do!
ride around in your 22,
etc.... etc.... Big up, Tanya! Another wikid piece of lyrics! Natty doh like how she sings but she has to admit, Tanya fulla lyrics to rass... She should write lyrics for Chevelle Franklyn, oonoo remember her? She sang the woman's lead vocals on Dancehall Queen, the song for the movie which was a major hit down a Yard! You remember the famous line from the movie? The bad bwoy shotta did commit a crime and the 'Dance Hall Queen's brother saw him, and the shotta looked at him and said, "Walk and live... talk and BOMBOCLAAT dead!". Oonoo remember? She did the song with BeenieMan... Wha' happen to Chevelle Franklyn, anyway? She can sing, Iyah! Its been a long time since I've heard anything from her... anyway, with her voice and Tanya's lyrics, bwoy, they would RULE the dancehall! Also big on the 'Drop Leaf'riddim - Morgan Heritage, with "Your Best Friend" and Sizzla, with "Be Strong!" By the way, heres what looks like the latest news update on another person who has used the 'Drop Leaf' riddim to good effect! - An update on the Jah Cure saga... denied parole, and should be out in 2007 if he keeps up his good behavior. Hey, guess the man's real name nuh? Siccaturie Alcock, to ra$$! I guess the man must have been concieved under a Sycamore tree or sup'm, eeeh?! Blood cleat! What a name! Him can sing doh! Behave yourself, you hear, Jah Cure! I will fly come to Jamaica to see you pon a stage show when you're released! Big up! Well, people, enough of me for tonight! Imagine, for a long while there, I didn't think I was going to post anything! Still, its St. Patricks Day, and I decided to celebrate it with a couple glasses of V/X and Pepsi and it looks like the V/X shook loose the 'blarney' in me, you done know! Nuff chat! Me gone now, though, its getting late. Still, I heard this song by Machel not too long ago, and it made me think of all of oonoo... as you might have noticed, its been awhile that you and I have been meeting here and I just want to say thanks for dropping by. Truly, I'm still here because you all showed me some love. This one is dedicated to you, therefore... to you! and you... and you and you and you! I hope you all had a great St. Patrick's Day, zeen? One love!
Posted by Mad Bull at 11:35 PM
| Comments (4)
G'night.
Bwoy, my internet connection was down until just now and now I have to go and hold some shut-eye before work tomorrow. Anyway, I will post a real post tomorrow. Hold tight, doh let the bed bugs bite. G'night.
Posted by Mad Bull at 12:03 AM
| Comments (4)
March 15, 2005
Domestic Violence
I recently read a post at Cool Destiny's. It was about how we (Jamaicans) have become a society which is uncaring and indifferent to one another. Cool Destiny wrote about a woman who was attacked in full view of the public, and no one responded to help her. Afterwards, some people said that they didn't move to help her because it was a domestic dispute. When I read that, it brought to mind a couple of experiences I had had in the past. Let me tell you about the first of those experiences now, and maybe I'll tell you about the other one another time. The first one occurred when I had just left high school. I was working downtown at the time, and one day, I was driving with a co-worker (Treasure) along "the Waltham", in an area that I would not traverse on foot, day or night, for fear I would get eaten. As I was driving along in the traffic, a big rock came sailing out from a side street and narrowly missed the car in front of us. I glanced down the side street, and as I looked, I saw a young woman in a torn nightie. She had a baby in her arms, and almost as soon as I saw her, she jumped up in the air, to her left, and as she moved, a piece of a cement block cleaved the air where she had been standing. As my eyes took in the entire scene, I saw a man, cussing to high heaven and rushing around, looking for another missile to hurl at the lady. All around these two people and the baby stood silent onlookers, seeing the violent, domestic spat and just looking on. I was appalled. I said to my co-worker, "How come nobody is helping her?". Another stone rent the air, narrowly missing the woman and the baby. "How come the man stoning her like that? Suppose he lick the baby? Why these people doh help her? Come mek we stop and help!". My co-worker came from this area, however, and discretion is the better part of valour. He knew that we should not stop and try to interfere, because this was a very bad and dangerous area, where no one would hesitate to kill you, if they were so moved. He said, "No, you can't stop. Its just a man and him woman a quarrell. If you stop, next thing everybody down the lane turn pon you. Keep on driving!". I said, "But you doh see she have the baby in her hands?". He said "She holding the baby so that the guy might come to his senses and stop fling the stone dem. Maybe is because she holding the baby that him doh lick her already.". I replied, "But we have to do something!". He said "You can't do anything to help them.". At that point, the line of traffic we were in moved again. I depressed the accelerator and lifted the clutch gently, and eased forward with the traffic. Slowly, the violent scene fell away behind me, but it didn't fade from my thoughts! I kept talking about it with my co-worker, but our discussions all came back to his firm statement of belief... "You can't help those people. There is nothing you can do about it.". It agitated me for quite awhile afterwards. I wonder how it all came out?
Posted by Mad Bull at 07:30 PM
| Comments (7)
March 13, 2005
The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly
So, in the Caymanian Compass I saw where Magistrate Margaret Ramsay–Hale, who by the way is a Jamaican (I think she was a Miss Jamaica World contestant one time too) sentenced a Jamaican visitor to nine months in jail Thursday after he pleaded guilty to two charges of theft. "There is as yet no visa requirements for Jamaicans travelling to Cayman", the magistrate noted. “People like you who abuse [that relationship] are slowly but surely eroding the affection that once existed between Caymanians and Jamaicans.", she said. “There is an increasing reluctance to have Jamaicans in our midst.” I know exactly what she meant! The thief should have been given ten years, not a piddling nine months! As she said, its Jamaicans like these who give the rest of us a bad name. Check out the magistrate. She is an example of the good! She is from Yard, but she has come here and is doing good things for the society, just like many, many other Jamaicans from all walks of life. Its not just her, you know... theres more, people, click the link to see the rest nuh?
MORE...
Posted by Mad Bull at 08:52 AM
| Comments (6)
March 12, 2005
New Tings
Well, M'Buthelezi is now the proud owner of a new brand car. Yessir, she bought herself a car! Its a Chevy Optra! When she told Midas what she had bought, he laughed at her and said "Optra? There is no such car as an Optra! Mind that they aren't just pulling a fast one on you, you know!". I myself had never heard of that name, but I am also here to tell you that it is a nice little car still! Anyway, now I just know that M'Buthelezi is going to want to come and exalt herself and brag and show off pon me because she got a new car, you know, but I-an-I don't deal with that! Anyhow she puts down the Accord over her likkle jing-bang new car, why, I 'll flatten her tires!  She'd better not mess with me, you know, because I'm a ba'ad man, you nuh seet?! Anyway, she took us all out to Deckers to celebrate this evening, and we had a great time! Congrats to you, M'Buthelezi, on the car purchase! May it serve you exceedingly well. 
Posted by Mad Bull at 11:22 PM
| Comments (1)
March 11, 2005
This Ones For the Ladies
Respect to all! Its me again, back giving the people what they want. Yeah, I know its past 5:00pm, and I know I should be out getting some elbow exercise (read:lifting a few pints) but being the selfless man that I am, I am hanging about here for a bit to try and do some good for all (wo)mankind. I happened to surf by Trouble's Island and I followed a link from his site and I came across some words that were just filled with the wisdom of the ages. These words were directed towards women in particular, and since I know that a few women might drop by here once in awhile, I thought that it would be remiss of me not to provide my sistren with access to this information. Gwaan go check it out, ladies... Luv Oonoo Bad! Gone for now... Natty, I need to have a word with you about Sheggy...
Posted by Mad Bull at 06:05 PM
| Comments (10)
Cricket, Lovely Cricket
So, the impasse in West Indies Cricket has not yet been resolved. And this despite fervent attempts by Grenadian Prime Minister Kenneth Anthony to find a solution. He seems to be back and forth meeting with all the parties concerned and phoning here and there... hes even been touching base with the other regional prime ministers... West Indies Cricket is important. Personally, I hope that something can be worked out. I can see the boards' side, in that they need money to run the affairs of cricket, and so they need to appease their sponsor, and at the same time, I can see the side of the players. I saw some data on what the player's earn and I think its precious little for people who are playing for us, the West Indies. They provide so much entertainment, they have such an impact on the West Indian psyche, and the way we see ourselves, and they are playing a big role in terms of maintaining the connections between all the islands. They deserve more, and they want to get more by taking advantage of these individual sponsorship agreements with Cable & Wireless. At the same time, P.M. Anthony does seem to be too involved in this issue to me! Its either Grenada doesn't have any problems and P.M. Anthony doesn't have much to do, or he is misdirecting his efforts. Which do you think it is? Anyway, T.G.I.F!
Posted by Mad Bull at 06:00 AM
| Comments (5)
March 10, 2005
As Mi Helper Used To Seh,
mek ah tell yu whappen to mi yestideh! You know, I forgot to tell you all what happened to me yesterday morning! I woke up to find that we were having a power cut AND the water was off! Apparently CUC had some issue and a wide area had lost light, and that also somehow affected the water pump, and so the same people lost water... I had to do an Ivan-esque wash-up kind of thing in one little bit of water that we were lucky to have! Then now, on the road we went, to drop MBJr. and myself to work... Traffic! Traffic! Traffic! People, there was an accident on the Linford Pierson Highway, closing the road, and there was an accident by the Baptist School, down just below Red Bay. That one slowed traffic to a crawl! Apparently there was also an accident up in Bodden Town too, but as that was further east of where I live, that didn't really affect me, though I am sorry for all those people by Frank Sound and East End! (* heres an appropriate moment to send greetings to all me pajeros in Frank Sound! Big up, mah peeps! *) Anyway, MBJr. was 10 minutes late, and I didn't get to work until 9:30 a.m. I an supposed to get to work by 8:30am, people... it was not pretty! In other news, I am really hating on Blogger sup'm bad, you know! I used to use Blogger myself, long ago, and the slowness of doing a post really pissed me off, until it drove me to go pay for my own domain and to install MovableType. I haven't been sorry for making that move, bwoy! Since then, I have not really had much to do with Blogger, but now, I find that more and more of my regular reads are running on Blogger! I will try to post a comment and its awful, absolutely awful! Just now, I was trying to raise up the comment page on Kami's blog and.... nothing doing!  Its enough to make a christian cuss, star!  Now don't get me wrong, Blogger is providing a fine service, and for free, but... bwoy... it rough... it rough fi true! I took MBJr. out on the road to ride his bike again today (Yes, I did play Rampage with him yesterday, and yes, he did kick my butt! ), but he didn't do much riding... Once we got to the bottom of the road, he bucked up some kids kicking ball in the street, one of whom was four... off his bike he came and he introduced himself and in no time he was running up and down and playing with them. I just stood up chatting with their Dad who seems to be quite nice, and we watched them playing while we chatted. MBJr. and I stayed there till it got dark, then we came home for dinner. Natty had done up some pork! MMMMMM-MMMM! People, let me tell you, when Natty cooks pork, it just makes you want to go out and slaughter some pigs so that you can get some more, you know! The pork sweet, it sweet, it sweet so till! Anyway, I am done writing here, I am going to go sit down in one corner and just rub my belly, because I ate till I feel like I am gwine to buss! Me gone... Later people!
Posted by Mad Bull at 08:03 PM
| Comments (5)
March 09, 2005
Not Much For Ya Tonight
I am not going to tarry long with you tonight, mah peeps... I am going to chill with this book I have on ASP 3 in the hopes that there are one or two similarities between it and ASP.Net. There must be one or two, don't you think?
I also downloaded PHP 4.3 and set it up today, so maybe I will do a little sup'm in that and see if they are impressed with it. Hell, everybody deserves a chance to flex with a supermodel instead of with the boring geek next door (ASP.Net), right? Maybe they will leap at the super model (PHP)...
No, I am just kidding. I ought to try ASP.Net before I just condemn it like that, even though PHP really sexy fi true! Anyways, me gone to read. Latah.
Posted by Mad Bull at 09:00 PM
| Comments (5)
March 08, 2005
Some Stuff
Yow, I am enjoying the new job! I am learning some new stuff and thats mixed in with some other stuff that I already know and am fairly accomplished at and its all interesting! Oh, and let me tell you, there seems to be a world of difference between Oracle RDBMS 7.1.6.2 and Oracle 9i, and people, its all good! Also theres some other good stuff in the offing, like ASP.Net web apps, for instance...  This evening, I 'forced' MBJr. to go outside with me instead of watching TV or playing video games. He went riding on his bike, with me walking along beside him. He had a whale of a time racing me up and down the road, and I am glad that he enjoyed it. I am really happy to get him back on that bike actually! This is the first time that he has been on that bike since before Ivan still! I think he was afraid to ride it, because the training wheels on it allow for a lot of sideways motion and he thinks hes going to drop off. The bike actually fell twice today, but luckily for his confidence, he jumped off and escaped unscathed! I think I will take him outside to ride again tomorrow, though I have promised to play Rampage (a Playstation II game) with him as well... He actually wanted me to play Rampage with him this evening, but I refused, as punishment for him putting his feet in the furniture after I had repeatedly told him not to. We shall see if his behaviour merits a game tomorrow... I like the game myself still! I gwine to kick his butt, you see!  Anyway, I-an-I gone, but I'll leave you with a little laugh... here goes: Little Johnny's school is having show and tell, so the teacher starts a 'Guess Whats Behind My Back' game. She goes to her desk and picks up a item. She says, "Okay class, what am I holding, its RED, ROUND, and SHINEY?". Little Johnny replies, "I know, teacher, its an apple!". The teacher replies, "No little Johnny, but I like the way you think.". So the teacher goes back to her desk and picks up another item. She says, "Okay class, what am I holding now, its YELLOW, and SOFT.". Little Johnny replies "I know, teacher, its a banana!". The teacher replies, "No Little Johnny, its a tennis ball, but I like the way you think.". At this point, Little Johnny is furious! He decided that he would get the teacher with a good question too. "Okay teacher, this one's for you.". He stuck his hand in his pocket and said "Okay, what am I holding, its ROUND, HARD, and has a HEAD.". The teacher says, "Little Johnny, go to the office right now! You are in big trouble, mister!". Little Johnny replied, "For what, teacher, its just a quarter? But I like the way you think. I'm out... Peace.
Posted by Mad Bull at 09:08 PM
| Comments (11)
March 07, 2005
Our Eyes Were Watching Halle
I dropped by Jdid this morning and saw a critique of the much publicised, Oprah Winfrey produced movie "Their Eyes Were Watching God". Natty and I watched this movie last night on ABC. We thought it should be rated "It can watch". What does "It can watch" mean though? Well, just what it says. You can watch it. Its not good, but it wasn't necessarily bad either. Its like a filler, you can watch it to pass some time. I had read the novel myself, years ago, when I was doing my English Literature major at UWI... yeah, I started to study for a Bachelors in Literature, but I dropped out. (its a long story) Anyway, I liked the novel, but the movie... it was so-so, you know, I guess for all the reasons that Jdid highlighted. On a side issue, Halle looked pretty scrumptious in the movie, as usual, but what did you all make of the long hair? I believe that its a generally held belief that women look better with long hair. I guess that this statement would hold for the majority of women, but I don't think its true for all women. I can think of a couple I have come across who looked much nicer with short hair than they did when they wore it long. Halle is one of these women, IMHO... she looks good with her hair long or short, but I think she looks best with it short. Whats your take on this? On yet another side issue, at the end of the movie, Natty said something like she felt that the character "Janie" had sort of wasted her time going off with Teacake because there she was, all alone again. The meat of the matter is below here so be sure to click the link below, seen?
MORE...
Posted by Mad Bull at 07:40 PM
| Comments (7)
March 05, 2005
What a Gwaan
So, Natty, the DSS Doc, Shoma and I went to the Barrington Levy concert last night. It wasn't all it could have been (for me, anyway)... the sound was awful and Levy just couldn't build a vibe for me last night. I went under his spell intermittently, but he couldn't keep me under it, you know? Despite that, we all managed to have some good fun, especially because we go out so rarely nowadays. Lots of rum was consumed, and we were all the worse for wear because of that today. Today, I had to go in to work to complete an Oracle software install that I had started running Friday afternoon. It was taking quite long to run, so much so that it began to encroach quite severely on the little send off party for my sistren who was leaving my last workplace. As a result, I took the decision to leave it running and go to the send off. It was a good idea, because I quite enjoyed the send off still, and today I was able to complete the software install, and create a database to test the installation too, so that all worked out well too... Hey, it seems that the majority of the Caribbloggers are Monday to Friday bloggers, huh? Oh well, I can't knock them, as we all have things we have to do on the weekends, and thats just life. I will have to work with it, I guess... I have also started to work on another enhancement to my webpage... You see that box in the right hand side bar that says something about my 40th birthday? That box is supposed to tell you about the upcoming events in the Mad Bull's life, but updating it has been a very manual task so far and so I haven't done a very good job of updating that info like I should have. Well, I am now setting up a little sup'm to allow me to update that info much more quickly and easily. I am using PHP to do this. It should be good fun, I think. Anyway, I didn't get enough sleep last night, so I am going to leave you. Tek care, seen?
Posted by Mad Bull at 11:07 PM
| Comments (7)
March 04, 2005
Adrenaline
So, today is Friday, and I got lots of shyte planned! After work, someone from the company I just left is also leaving, and they are having a drinkup at Hammerheads and I am going to stop by for a bit. Later tonight, Barrington Levy will be in concert at the Royal Palms and Natty and I (and M'Buthelezi) will be there. As a result, I am not going to spend tons of time in front of the screen tonight writing oonoo long missives, blog posts or love letters. Rather, I am shamelessly going to post a little story I got from somebody else. Today I have a guest blogger, as it were. A bredrin who graduated from high school with me in 1981 wrote a little story in an email and sent it around to all the members of my class who are on our email list. It recounts something he remembers about another member of the class of 1981 at STGC, and I thought it was quite funny, and so I've change it up minutely to protect the guilty parties and here it is. Remember Carey M!!!! I have a little story about him. He used to live off Red Hills Road, so every now and then we would ride the bus together (33, 35, 37, 39). He used to come off the bus before me at Cassia Park, and I would get off at Red Hills Mall. I don't know if you remember what he looked like, but I wouldn't describe him as being fleet-footed. He was kind of more short and stumpy (no jokes please).On one occasion he couldn't get off the packed bus quickly enough, so as was customary in those days, the bus drove off with him and he decided to get off at my stop. The DSS Doc used to live down the street from me, so we decided to give him a check after we left our bags at my house. The DSS Doc's house had the driveway at the side of the house, and the carport was behind the house so it was impossible to tell if anyone was home if the cars were in the carport. We went there and knocked at the gate but no one answered. Now, as unassuming as Carey was, if he decided to do something, nothing was going to stop him, and he had decided he wanted to speak to The DSS Doc! Against my better advice, he opened the gate and started walking along the driveway towards the house. For safety, I closed and locked the gate behind him.......him inside, me outside (I was always smart ). When he got near to the house (which was about half way up the driveway), a posse a dawg come from round de back of de house (de carport area), and start run down de driveway. Yu shoulda see Mahadeo face when him turn roun an start run fi de gate, wid de dog dem behind him! Yu shoulda see him face when in he was full stride and him realize de gate lock, an him naw go have time fi open it! Well, me start laugh 'cause me know de dawg dem was going to catch him. *hit, in one motion de man jump de gate, only touching de top of de gate with his palm! I don't know how he did it, 'cause de gate was tall, and you know Carey's stature already! Lata he cursed me an said I was "_uckery", but between my shock at seeing him in full flight and my laughter, I couldn't have opened the gate........ not that I really tried, mind you! Bwoy, adrenalin makes you do strange things. nuh true? I quite enjoyed this little story, hope you did also. Hey, enjoy the weekend, mah peeps... me gawn!
Posted by Mad Bull at 02:41 PM
| Comments (3)
March 03, 2005
Happy Birthday To Me!
  Well, they do say it's my birthday today... I wonder what the stars have in store? Actually, I don't feel anyway different from yesterday, so far it just feels like any other day... Still, this birthday is a bit different from all the others. In fact, my high school bredrins have this email list that we use to communicate with each other and recently, the topics of most of the emails have been about birthdays, because the birthday most of us face this year is the big FOUR ZERO!!! Bwoy, we are really getting on in age, huh? Any of us who doh have a woman yet have to beware that any ladies we approach don't want to walk around us, inspecting really carefully and kicking the tires, a lie?
Anyway, I'm not going to worry too much about that. Age is just a number, you hear, sah, especially if you earn enough to purchase a little Viagra or Cialis now and then. So far, I am still able! Able to what, you say? Why, buy a little Viagra is what I meant! So, all of you, sing a happy, lusty rendition of Happy Birthday for me and then belly up to the bar! I'm buying! After all, what do they say that I am now again? Is it  Natty, doh answer that! 
Posted by Mad Bull at 12:01 AM
| Comments (16)
March 02, 2005
Mi Did Shock
 3100DC1AAT!!! Yow, oonoo see this??!! The queen has knighted Bill Gates! The man has reached, Iyah! He is somebody now, nuh true?
Apparently the knighthood was for Bill's kind gesture in funding vaccines for children in poorer countries, so I won't quarrel too much with that. The man deserves it for doing such good works, surely? Anyway, the reason I wrote this is that one of the guys I work with came across the news story. It had an attendant picture on the queen giving Bill something, and while looking at that he voiced the opinion that the queen had some BIG breasts! I think he is crazy, don't you? I mean, who looks at the queen and thinks about her breasts, know what I'm saying? Next, he started going on about how he was wondering whether she has a servant who trims and shapes up her bush for her, and whether she went "Rambo" downstairs or not (shaved herself clean). You see the weird people working around me?! (and NO, he isn't a Yardie, he is from New Zealand) You know, I just thought... a man like that is so out of it that he bears watching, Iyah! Hell, one day he might just come in to work with a Browning or a Glock and just go postal or something...  Updated @ 19:49 : I found this one via Kami's Corner, people! Listen, if you do nothing else tonight, read this short newsitem and consider what a desperate situation some countries find themselves in... Imagine, in Botswana they are having a beauty contest to choose Miss HIV!!! You might well ask "Why the hell would anyone do something like that?". Personally, it sounds like a good idea to me... Read about how Africa is suffering, people... pray that something happens to help these people out! While you are at it, pray for us Caribbean folks, because we are not too far behind the Africans...
Posted by Mad Bull at 05:16 PM
| Comments (10)
March 01, 2005
A Quick Hail Up
G'morning. Bwoy, today is the first in a long while that I felt like I would have preferred staying at home rather than going to work. Its not the new job either, its just that I woke up feeling somewhat tired. You wanna know why that is? Its this book that I'm reading, Dan Brown's 'The Da Vinci Code'. Its one of those evil, nefarious, insidious books that just won't let you put them down at night... I'd advise you all to stay away from that book for your own good! Your health is too important! Me, I have to hurry up and finish it before it finishes me! Nah, I'm just kidding! You should all run out and grab this book, its great! The book is chock full of lots of interesting information still. I may talk about some of it in later posts. Its essentially about two religions, catholicism and paganism. Just the other day, I read at Fyr's blog that she was interested in paganism and I began to fear for her soul, because I, like most people, associated paganism with devil worship. Apparently its not about that really. Rather, Dan Brown's novel suggests that paganism is about Nature worship, and maintaining a balance in Nature. That is not a bad idea at all, IMHO, especially after I had to go through that wicked Hurricane Ivan last year! I am sure that Ivan became such a strong storm because of some imbalances that existed in nature and in the environment, and I also believe that those imbalances were caused by us humans. If you give us humans half a chance, we will 'done the place' (destroy the world) for sure! The book goes on to suggest what the true nature of the Holy Grail is and why it is so important. It suggests further that all those secret societies like the Knights Templar and the Rosicrucians and the Free Masons were formed to protect the Holy Grail! I wonder if we have any free masons reading this blog? Free masons in the house, can I get a "Ho!!!"? Listen, if any of you are reading this, clue us in on whether you guys are really guarding the secret of the Holy Grail, nuh? Cho, man! Nobody has to know that you let off that info on us! Just tell us in an anonymous comment to this post! None of us will tell anybody! Anyway, I say that you should all go out and buy this book, today if possible! Its a very interesting read on an interesting topic. Five cruise ships in today, BTW... I know you were wondering how we've been doing cruise ship-wise since my last report. Let me go and do some work though... I'm out. Peace...
Posted by Mad Bull at 10:20 AM
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