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June 28, 2005

Seat 29E? On A.A.? No Way!

Hey, y'all know the significance of flying in seat 29E on American Airlines? Actually, I am sure that the type of aircraft being discussed would be important, but did you know that on some American Airlines aircraft, you just don't wanna be sitting in seat number 29E? No?

People, go and read this, it is hilarious! Its also a great and timely warning! Its all about the trials one will experience if you happen to be the unlucky passenger who is assigned that seat. Then, suitably armed with the information, feel free to plan your summer vacations or any other trips you might be making...

Listen, I'd stay and chat some more, but I am going on vacation soon and part of my trip will be done with American Airlines, and I need to go check what my seat numbers are, because I and I am not gwine to endure that deh kind of treatment, rasta! Me gone! Peace...

Posted by Mad Bull at 08:01 PM | Comments (8)

June 27, 2005

Steve, Don't Eat It!

Hmmm... I'm hungry... lets see what we have stocked away here in the kitchen/canteen/whatever-ya-wanna-call-it at my workplace... Ooooh, looky! Somebody has left us some nice potted meat!!! Want some?

Yeah, yeah, I know... just the thought of that makes you wanna , right?

Yeah, I know, potted meat tastes like... well, I'd say shyte, but then you might ask me how I know what shyte tastes like! What a quandary... well, lets just say it nuh taste nice atall, atall!

Anyways, apparently some people eat it!

You don't believe me? Well, I have proof! I asked my research assistant, Jessee the Kid, to check out Google for people who eat spam and he did find a few... look, he came up with this wierd site. It is sort of a blog, sort of an e-zine, and the chap that runs it blogs about his 'adventures' eating...

On one of these 'exploratory missions', the man ate some potted meat, and he has been kind enough to document the mission thoroughly... as you click here, join me in shouting "STEVE, DON'T EAT IT!"!!!

Hey, spend a little time and read up on some more of Steve's mis-adventures while you're there, nuh? Oh, I also have this irie little joke for you, its about the time when some relatives of Fyr were giving this natty dread that lived in the country a really hard time!

A dread was living in rural Jamaica in a community that had no electricity supply. One evening he was reading his Bible (Macabees version) and meditating, assisted by lighting from a bedside lamp (Home Sweet Home) and of course the glow that lit up his whole hut whenever he took a draw off his chillum pipe. The poor dreadie wasn't making much progress though, as he was being bothered by the constant nuisance of some
mosquitoes.

Follow the link below to read the rest, nuh man?

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Posted by Mad Bull at 07:12 PM | Comments (3)

June 25, 2005

Some Labrish

Am sitting here sipping on a nice, ice-cold Heineken and browsing some blogs after going to the supermarket and then to nyam some irie Chiney food at Canton Restaurant in the Strand.

Bwoy, have you people been reading the Humanity Critic recently? That brother is good, you know! Here is a link to where he was telling his views on "Blind Dates". Actually, I am not sure if I have ever been on a blind date. I don't think I have! Is that wierd or wha'? You tell me! How many of you have been on blind dates? Is that like an ordinary thing or not?

I got an email from a gentleman who's been reading my blog... apparently he has a blog and he lives here in the Cayman Islands too.

Its nice to find another blogger down here with me. He is at Cayman Time, why don't you all go check his site out and leave him some comments and ting?

He also pointed out to me that the movie theatre is due to re-open next month! This is big news, since MBJr. is dying to go catch movies there... Watching DVDs is irie and ting, but sometimes you just wanna chill at the theatre with your honey and catch the movie there, you know? So, I told MBJr. and he said "I just hope another hurricane doesn't come and mash it up again!". See, hes thinking like everybody else here on this rock, nuh true? Everybody here is praying that the hurricanes for this season give us a wide berth!

Actually, during the movie theatre-less period, Natty and I used to say that we should link up with the people at Palace Amusement and set up a thing where we run the theatre here and get movies from them... well, guess who's gonna be running the movie theatre here now? Nuh the Grahams from Palace Amusement, rasta!

Bwoy, some of the time, we get some good ideas but we don't act on them! Then we feel a bit weird when someone else comes along and follows through on an idea we had and makes a success of it. I guess we're just going to have to take the risk ourselves on one of these ideas or we might end up as some bitter old people, always remonstrating with ourselves about the chances missed. "If onlywe had done this" or "If only we had done that", you know?

As A yute at work says, "the only risk is not taking a risk?" or as the Jamaica Lotto people say "If you don't have a ticket, you can't win!".

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Posted by Mad Bull at 05:24 PM | Comments (7)

June 24, 2005

T.G.I.F.

Respect to all massive and crew! Oh good, its Friday! Praise Ye Jah!

So, Jessee the kid strikes again. The rude yute sent me an email today and chus' mi (trust me) I thought it was hilarious... I have decided to share, and I do so in its entirety... Jessee says he thought that the one about electrons was the best, but I disagree... below is the text of the email...oonoo (you) tell me what oonoo think nuh?

lol the electron one is best

OK. These are really bad. No, I mean REALLY bad.

Here are the 10 first place winners in the International Pun Contest

1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!".

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.
Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

4.. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron," The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal?
His goal: transcend dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not.
He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him .(Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)..... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.

No pun in ten did.

Ok, so, which did you like? Lef' me some comments and let me know please. Also say whether you like the electron one so I can tell Jessee the Kid what y'all think. I'll tell you what I think, but you have to click the link below to find out...

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Posted by Mad Bull at 05:41 PM | Comments (2)

June 23, 2005

What a Gwaan

I went into a church today for the second time since coming to Grand Cayman... the last time, I had taken M'Buthelezi to church one Sunday morning. She had just come over to Cayman from Jamaica and she was still all gung ho with regard to the church vibes and one morning I decided to travel with her, but she hasn't been able to convince me to return so far... actually, it seems like her religious fervour has worn off a bit too, because I don't hear her saying that she still going herself either, and she lives MUCH closer to church now and she has her owna ride and ting, so...

Today's visit was for a much more sad occasion though... click the link below to continue...

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Posted by Mad Bull at 08:59 PM | Comments (9)

June 22, 2005

Hitch-ed

Hey, all. Last night, I decided to watch the movie "Hitch" before I had to take out a mortgage to pay Blockbuster for late charges! I am sorry I took so long to watch it! The movie kriss, rasta! Of course, I am the lovey-dovey softie type so that sort of thing will appeal to me, but doh worry, if you're not into all that mush, remember, it is mega-funny too! Remember, it is Will Smith who stars in the movie, yuh done know! I definitely recommend you go out and rent the DVD and watch this one, pplz! Good stuff...

Posted by Mad Bull at 08:30 PM | Comments (8)

June 20, 2005

New Stuff On The Site

Its late, people... this will have to be quick. First of all, I don't know why, but for some reason CUC saw fit to plunge us into darkness this evening. Me vex still... for what we pay them, we should be bathed in light perpetually to ra$$.

Hey, I put up a new picture for the top left of my webpage, ju wanna seet? You better, cos here it is... Soon you will load my page and see this pretty picture. I went to a website full of pictures of Negril and saw a big picture I liked. This subsection is a piece of that picture, which I chose because of the man and his son sitting on the beach. Reminds me of MBJr. and myself, actually. If you squinge up you eye dem, you can just make it out. If you can't see it, well, sorry. A so it go sometimes.... you know what? I am going to be nice. If you want to see the whole picture, click here! View image

Between Friday night and today I have learned a fair anmount about SQL Server... my respect for it grows and grows! I am shocked, because one time I used to live by the mantra "There is only one database. Its name is Oracle. There can be no other database but Oracle.". Of course, I included MySQL as a big time database from long time still! MySQL is a big database indeed, it is actually the backend for this site, and probably for the vast majority of blog sites, I'll wager.

Still, I had Oracle on a pedestal which no other database could ascend, but nowadays I am realising that SQL Server is pretty irie too. I don't really think it can scale as well as Oracle still, but its is a very nice database for small and even medium sized projects... I wonder just how big a project it can handle without going heavily into clustering? Anybody have any ideas

Finally, I followed Dorna's example and included some Caribbean Newslinks down at the bottom right of my page. The Yardie links were too depressing and also, every now and again, the thing would stop working... dunno if thats the fault of the host I was using for the content or if it was the Gleaner's fault, though I suspect the host rather than the Gleaner. Hey, do you know what I saw in those Caribbean links tonight? Imagine, they had up a headline that the Caribbean is pushing for a return to commercial whaling?

Thats such a crock of shit! Certainly I don't support that! I am sure many of us don't support it! How come they are saying that the 'Caribbean' supports it? They should be saying that Antigua's Minister for Marine Resources, Joanne Massiah supports it! Hmph! Sick woman. I hope she takes a little yacht ride over the summer and she meets her own Moby Dick, like Captain Ahab did. 'Bout commercial whaling! As Jdid says, "Chupse".

Anyway, I gone. It late, as I said before... Chat to you tomorrow.

Posted by Mad Bull at 11:59 AM | Comments (9)

June 19, 2005

Happy Father's Day

Yowah yow, all! Now I had planned to post a nice little Father's Day present for all the Dads. As such, this present was to go out to all the good father's out there... If you doing a great job, you need a really nice reward, nuh true? Unfortunately, I had quite a busy day (won't tell you what I was doing).

Anywayz, I hope all you Dads had a Happy Father's Day! You see like how I am not so 'busy' anymore, let me sen' on the present I had for you... Check out my 'present'! Shes all yours, yuh simi? Have fun! Oh, and no, it won't be sloppy seconds for all you! Thats my story and I'm sticking to it!

Here is a laugh for you too... I did reword it a bit, see if you can tell where my creative genius improved the story, ok? :

The Inheritance

When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune after his sickly, widowed father died, Charles decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So one evening, he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said, as he walked up to her, "but in just a week or two, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars." The woman went home with Charles that evening, and three days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much smarter more devious than men. When will men ever learn?

I guess the moral of that story is doh count your money before you get it inna you hand! Its a good point too! Hope you got a laugh. Peace, pplz! I'm out!

Posted by Mad Bull at 11:50 AM | Comments (6)

June 18, 2005

Di Energy God!

Now, you tell me, who is the real 'Energy God'?, Ele, or she! Click pon di link below to see...

View first image

Yow! Elephant Man have a heart, eeh?

View second image

Now, I have danced with 'fuller figured' women before too, but I wouldn't have chanced anything by doing a dance like that! Still, Ele bigger in body than me and probably him live at the gym, pumping iron and working out, so I guess he can manage...

Posted by Mad Bull at 03:18 PM | Comments (7)

"What?!!!"

"What?!!! No Friday post?!!!" you say? Well, it was no ordinary Friday! I have been toiling for long hours since Thursday night, my peeps, and it will continue over into the weekend, horrible though that may be! Wha fi do, though, the work has to be done!

At least I learned a couple of things last night, so there is some benefit!

Oh, by the way, the pictures from the Jet Around Cayman 2005 have been posted at Partysurfers. Now remember, a certain troublesome blogger took part in the race, and yes, there do seem to be a couple pictures of him up on the site, so if oonoo waan', you can click through to Partysurfers and go see if you can identify the Troublesome one! Have fun, knock yourselves out.

UPDATED:Since I can't really stop to write anything right now, let me give you a blogpost written by someone else to read. My bredrin Muthu seems to have hit upon the answer to the mystery of the painting "Mona Lisa". Gwaan and check it out. Me, I have to go get ready to go to work, unfortunately.

Me gone.

Posted by Mad Bull at 10:07 AM | Comments (4)

June 16, 2005

Now How Do I...

I was sent a link to an interesting site today... it is a general "how to" site, it covers how to do anything and everything under the sun. It allows people to contribute from their own store of knowledge, i.e. if you consider yourself to be a font of knowledge on any particular subject area, feel free to contribute. Some of the knowledge contained there in may well prove to be quite useful, while others are a bit on the zany side. I include below a few of the zany ones...

How to Be a Nerd!

Become a nerd in easy steps!

1. Find a good space.
2. Watch all Star Wars and Star Trek movies. You'll thank me.
3. Watch anime religiously.
4. Become part of an online gaming team.
5. Have a large powerful PC, and brag about it to 'normal' people.
6. Install Linux onto said powerful PC. Proceed to brag about how Linux is the superior operating system.
7. Do not hesitate to talk about the size of your RAM, or Spock's haircut in front of people.

Tips
Sunlight may seem bad, but you are required to quiver in it for at least 30 minutes a day.

Warnings
Becoming a nerd may lead to becoming a geek.

So, how many of the steps above do you already fit in with? Admit it, y'all are amongst the most quintessential of nerds, ain't you?

Now heres one that I may find useful, though it may still be considered a bit zany by some... its all about getting rid of excess ear wax. Click the link below to read on... especially you, Doc, because I have a question for you on this one...

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Posted by Mad Bull at 06:21 AM | Comments (9)

June 15, 2005

Likkle Bit

Sorry I couldn't stop to chat with ya tonight... I been reading that book, 'The Tristan Betrayal', and we had rented 'National Treasure' and I thought I'd better watch it. Its just done, it was great. You should rent it! Love story, excitement, mystery... good stuff!

Anyway, I gone to bed... gotta get my beauty rest, I have nuff things to do at work tomorrow. Sleep tight, doh let the bed bugs bite!

Posted by Mad Bull at 11:47 AM | Comments (4)

June 14, 2005

A Good Novel

Hey, all... seems I ended up giving you the wrong info yesterday... the yute Jason who was said to have won the big jetski race was judged to have not complied with every rule or something like that and so he seems to have been disqualified... click this link to see the guy who really won, Billy Ebanks. I like the look of the dawta who presented him with his cheque in the JAC2004 event too, so go check out the picture... CLICK HERE!

I watched the movie "The Merchant of Venice" last night too. It was pretty decent. Still, I feel that Shylock (the Jew) got a rough break, after all, he had gone through a lot of shit, and then, in his moment of triumph (or maybe revenge is a better word), all was taken away from him.... and you know, sometimes things are just like that in real life too... some people have nothing but good stuff happening for them, and others get the really shitty end of the stick to hold on to and to gwan nyam! It ruff, it ruff, it ruff fi true, but be happy if you are not one of those who get the real ruff tings to deal with. It not easy at all! Anyway, Merchant of Venice can definitely watch. Gwan out go rent it, ppl.

I have been reading this novel too... its a Robert Ludlum, its called 'The Tristan Betrayal'. It took a long while to get started, but now that it has, I'm hooked. Here is the basic premise of this novel...

Its WWII. France has been defeated, and Germany is preparing to bomb Britain off the face of the map. People are recognising that Hitler is looking like a real contender to take over all of Europe and eventually, maybe the whole freakin' world, unless he can be made to commit a grievious mistake! At this time, a great spymaster and his merry band of spies set out to try to trick Hitler into attacking Russia at the same time that he launched his assault on Britain. Of course, we know from history that this is exactly what Hitler did do, but he should have known better!

Hell, he had the example of Napoleon before him. I have heard that a woman once said to Napoleon that "man proposes and God disposes.". According to what I heard, Napoleon replied to the woman that he proposed and also, he disposed. He did think a lot of himself, didn't he? Anyway, the very next day, he sent his troops off to Russia to war.

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Posted by Mad Bull at 10:37 PM | Comments (6)

June 13, 2005

Yes I, Mi Deh Yah...

So, I sit here in my accustomed spot in front of Compi, with Capleton's "Or Wha" coming through my baby's speakers. I just tuned in to Vibe FM's online audio stream to hear whats going on with the "Jet Around Cayman" race. Apparently Billy Ebanks is in the lead, followed by Vance Ramjeet, Johnny Thompson, Jason Smith and others. Apparently they are in the South Sound region, so the race will soon be over. It probably doesn't make much sense to make my way to Royal Palms, where the finish line is, if all I was going for was to see the finish. I completely forgot this was going on until just now. I wonder how Trouble is doing?

On the radio now in Assassin, with "Eediat Ting Dat!". Some good music playing, mah peeps...

So anyway, yesterday was pretty busy. We had a lot of boxes in the garage since we moved here from Yard *. Well, the roof of our house was damaged by Hurricane Ivan. Some remedial work was done on it, but apparently not enough, as shown up by T.S. Arlene.

Anyway, the garage was under water, it was a major mess, and all the boxes were waterlogged, so Natty and I undertook a cleanup exercise. Plenty wuk, bredrins! We still have more to do next weekend, and also, now I need to buy a piece of furniture to hold all the stuff we had stored out there, but I must admit that it is pretty nice to see and to be using some of the crockery we had back in Jam. again!

After the garage cleanup exercise was over, I took MBJr. to Cemetery Beach which is a nice little beach down by the firestation (and of course, the cemetery), right by the entrance to West Bay. It is a pretty little spot, but...

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Posted by Mad Bull at 02:27 PM | Comments (9)

June 11, 2005

w.bloggar

I just read about this nifty tool at Fyr's and I thought I'd download it and give it a whirl. Its called w.bloggar and it is a tool that you can use to compose your blog posts offline.

It sound's like it'd be really great for dial up users (hint, hint, Doc.). Of course, a dial up user could also use Notepad to compose their post, so I am not yet sure what all the benefits are of this tool as against Notepad...

Here are a couple of them that are immediately obvious though.

• It will insert html into your post for you, effortlessly
• it will post the text of your entry to your blog for you
• It will make it easy for you to upload files to your site

Here, look. This whole post was done with w.bloggar, even down to uploading that picture above. Kewl, huh? I will keep using it for a bit and I will update this entry as I come upon other benefits...

Now, about the picture... Xtina looks hot eeeh? Both as the woman against the car and as the cop. I don't know how some people could have arrived at the conclusion that Britney looks better than her, though thats an old discussion nowadays. Big up to Skechers for the picture still. Bwoy, I hope the next cop who tickets me looks just like that, fishnet stockings and all!

Posted by Mad Bull at 05:59 PM | Comments (9)

June 10, 2005

Telephone Ting

De Telephone ting mash up me life,
Make me matey a call me wife,
you nuh seet say,
De Telephone ting mash up me life,
have me a live thru nuff fuss and strife.

- Kip Rich

I'm not sure if the last line above goes exactly like that, but I thought of the words to that song and how true they can be for some people sometimes... Maybe cellies aren't such a blessing, huh? Kip Rich talks about his wife borrowing his phone and seeing the "Me want to sex u" text message he had received on his phone, and about all the fussing and fighting that ensued as a result. Certainly I can think of people who have been in situations like these... It can get worse than that, however!

Yesterday while driving in to work, I heard a song I had never heard before... it affected me as no other song has ever done! It was a recent-ish song, by a Black-American singer, not sure who, but the song sure told an interesting story, bwoy! It affected me in the way that an exciting movie or a great novel does, making me want to plunge on and on, wanting to find out whats gonna happen next, whats gonna happen next!

The song started with the guy waking up to a ladies voice, wishing him good morning from outside the room. Of course, having just woke up, he didn't pick up immediately that the voice he heard wasn't that of his wife, plus, he had been out doing some major partying the night before. In walks the lady, all nude and looking irie and ting, but my yute was very startled and alarmed to realise that the woman wasn't his wife. He looks outside and sees that its morning, and slowly, the realisation dawns on him that he had slept out... the entire night!

Apparently he went out clubbing alone the night before, and he had really tied one on, bredrins and sistren! He hooked up with this lady and went back with her to her place! He had had some fun with her, but due to the amount of liquor he had consumed, he fell asleep, and he didn't wake up until right then!

He began to think about all the shyte he was in, all the shyte he was going to get from his wife, and all the shyte he would have to make up and fabricate, and he was really wondering how the hell he was going to get out of this one!

He decided that he'd better haul his ass back home, pronto, so he got up and he scrambled into his clothes and thing. As he made his way out of the bedroom, the woman was standing in the doorway to the kitchen. She asked him where he was going and he told her he was leaving. She flew over to the front door and stood up blocking it and she told him he couldn't just leave like that!

Of course, ya only have to click the link below to find out what happened next!

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Posted by Mad Bull at 06:45 AM | Comments (7)

June 09, 2005

Its the Thought that Counts...

On the way home from work, I had the great idea to stop at Grand Harbour and pick up a DVD for MBJr. I found out that Blockbuster had got "The Son of the Mask", which MBJr. had been dying to see, because he has been properly primed for it by watching all those Kiddie channels I let him watch so that I can get my blogging on....

Well, hey, I get primed to watch shyte too, so I'm not against MBJr. getting to watch his show, so I felt pretty damned good when I picked up that DVD for him... "I'm going to be a star in his eyes, I am!", I thought.

While I was selecting the movie, Natty went next door to Hurleys, ostensibly to buy some snacks, but really, she was focused on a mission to maintain first place in her son's heart. Tonight, apparently, she has struck the death blow! While she pushed her trolley innocently along Hurley's aisles, she (seemingly innocently) picked up this electric blue, see-thru digital watch! She didn't say a thing to me, probably because she didn't want to surrender the advantage of surprise!

When we walked into the house, I was there parading before MBJr. like a performing seal, eagerly seeking applause. "What movie is that? Who da man?!"I said "Who da man!". Say my name, bebe!".

Natty however, waited until all the fanfare was over and just pulled the little watch from a bag and said, "MBJr, look, I got this for you...". Thats it, no fanfare or anything, and just like that, I dropped into last place second place! After I had affixed the watch to his wrist, (yes, the woman is sadistic! She forced me to strap on the instrument which caused my own demise! Women are eeee-vil!) the little man was so distracted that even during the movie's highest moments, he was ignoring the movie to say stuff like this:

MBJr. : "70:180, Dad!".
Dad : "No, son, that is 7:15. Thats not an 8, its a 5."...
Mbjr : "7:20 already! I'm shocked!". I thought it would go to 7:19 first!".
Dad : "It did, son, its just that you didn't look for awhile... time waits for no man, y'know!".
MBJr. : "Well, its 7:21 now!".
Dad : "Yes, MBJr.".

" " "
" " "
" " "
MBJr. : Dad, is it 17:45?".
No, son, its 7:45!".
etc.... etc.... etc...

Never mind! I don't care which gift he prefers... I'm just thrilled that he likes his watch! (and he is watching the movie... sort of... )

Listen, I love my son very much! I am just thrilled that he likes his gifts, from both of us! Really I am!

No, I DO NOT think my wife is a subversive, and I never said she is a wicked witch-spy, bent on taking all my son's love away from me! I didn't! I didn't, I say... No, I didn't say she was a witch AND a spy either!

You believe me, don't you, honey? Don't you?

Oh well, I guess nothing nah gwaan for me tonight, huh?

Posted by Mad Bull at 09:07 PM | Comments (5)

June 08, 2005

Dis Ain't No Dew Rain!

As I walked in to the office this morning, one of my co-workers exclaimed, "Bumbo claat!!! Come look pon dis!". Dutifully, I put down my "bundle" (the stuff I was carrying) and made my way around to his desk to peer at his computer screen.

On his screen was displayed a fearsomely large mass of clouds which seemed to be centered around the eastern coast of Honduras, with bands of clouds stretching away to the east. My co-worker said, "Hey, all like now, Jamaica must be experiencing some rassclaat thunderstorms, you know! As I looked at the area where Jamaica would be, I saw that it was indeed swathed in clouds. I briefly reflected that the skies had been a bit on the grey side on my way in to work. My phone rang, and I promptly forgot all about weather, because the call was from some of my more panicky users. Something hadn't gone as they had expected and their department was in an uproar, almost as if they felt that the sky was going to fall upon their heads! Pity it didn't.

There is more...

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Posted by Mad Bull at 08:26 PM | Comments (10)

June 06, 2005

The Cayman S

So did you know that Porsche has come out with a new model? Its called the Porsche Cayman S, and here is a picture :

Cayman S is based on the Boxster S, but features its own distinctive styling, as you might realise if you're a Porsche buff. It is powered by a 3.4-liter flat six-cylinder engine teamed with the smooth 6-speed manual transmission found in the Boxster S that has been enhanced for the Cayman S with shortened and more precise shift travel. Output is rated at 295 horsepower with 255 lb-ft of torque, good enough for a 0-60 time of 5.1 seconds and a top speed of 171 mph, according to Porsche... clearly the car wasn't designed to be driven here, though the name might make one think otherwise...

What oonoo think of the looks of the car? It looks ok to me, and if you were to buy me one, I'd rev it for awhile, but I prefer the looks of the older 911's still... hmmm.... maybe if I imagine a rear spoiler a la the 911 or the 930 Turbo... naw, I still prefer the look of the mountains in the background.

Anyway, its nice that the car is named after Cayman (actually, its named after a crocodile, I think, but thats what gave the Caymans their name as well, the same crocodiles), and hey, it is a Porsche, so some people are going to crave it. I think the Tourist Board here should snap up three or so of them and come up with some kind of competition so that they can give the cars away to tourists. If they are really creative, maybe they can drum up tourist arrivals. I suspect they are doing quite well in that department, but more might not hurt, a lie?

There is a likkle bit more...

MORE...

Posted by Mad Bull at 10:26 PM | Comments (7)

June 05, 2005

Funnee!

Who wants some real good laughs today? Do you? Well, click on over to Jdid and read about some people who decided to fight a lion, then click on over to Humanity Critic's and read about his day in court and about his partying with porn stars, and finally, click on over to Afflicted Yard and read about Peter Dean Rickards' Gran and her false teeth! If one or all of those posts don't get you laughing, fahgeddit! You're dead, mofo!

Hey, as you can all see in the comments a couple of posts below, Jdid mocked 'the dread' (me) and said something to the effect of "David Chappelle you are not!". Well, Jdid, you're right, I aint David, but I recognise funny shyte when I sees it. (Well, maybe H.C's posts are more interesting than funny, but I got a laugh out of them...)

By the way, Peter Dean Rickards now has a blog, and I have started to read over at Humanity Critic's so thats two new links for the blogroll... ooohh, goodie...

Oh, and to those who were wondering, Doctor D's sister Rufie has not yet given birth to her bundle of joy, though by this evening/tonight, this ought to be false news, seen? The Doctor would have told you all himself, except he's been having some issues of an ISP nature...

TTYL

Posted by Mad Bull at 12:21 PM | Comments (7)

June 03, 2005

A New Nickname Is Born

Friday morning! YEAHHHH!!!! Whoooo hooooo! TGIF, baby! So anyway, having given you the obligatory ode to the greatest day of the week, what the phuck else do I have to tell you.... cho, I don't have much to tell you. I am just going to jump off... lets see where we go.

Lessee.... ok! So this morning Natty and I were riding in to work and we got on the Linford Pierson "Highway". There was a big gap between me and the car in front, and so I stomped on the accelerator just for kicks, taking the car up to the dangerously silly speed of about 65 mph for about 5 seconds... When I did it Natty let out an intense "YEAHHHH!". Of course, theres more...

MORE...

Posted by Mad Bull at 10:59 AM | Comments (2)

June 02, 2005

Anodda One... Make that two

Ok, you guys didn't like my last joke, but I don't give up easily. Here is another one. Let me know what you think...

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway, shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, get undressed in the bathroom, stick my foot in the toilet and pee down my leg to prevent splashing sounds. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!!"

His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door,storm up the steps, throw my shoes in the closet, jump into bed, slap her on the ass and shout, "WHO'S HORNY".... "and she acts like she's asleep every time."

Heh, heh heh... I'm going to have to try that one...

Of course, I ent done yet. This one was sent to me by Nena :

An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues:

Man: "I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times."

Priest: "Are you sorry for your sins?"

Man: "What sins?"

Priest: "What kind of a Catholic are you?"

Man: "I'm Jewish."

Priest: "Why are you telling me all this?"

Man: "I'm telling everybody!"

Now theres a man after my own heart, if not my age! So... how these stay? Dem did good or wha?

Posted by Mad Bull at 09:49 PM | Comments (7)

A Grey Dawn

Very grey morning out there today... some kind of tropical depression passing through the Caymans since last night. We got a nice, hard rain on the drive in to work as well, so hard that I was wondering if MBJr. would get drenched when he had to get out of the car at school! Luckily, God was smiling upon us and as soon as I turned in through the school gates, the rain eased to a light drizzle. That and the fact that as soon as I got to work I found and resolved a bug in some code that I had been searching for since yesterday makes me think that its going to be a great day, people!

Of course, you done know that I am going have to find some wood to knock after making such a big statement so early in the morning! I don't want things to go to hell on me now because I've said that, know what I mean? And no, I am not superstitious!

Dionne Matthis (of Vibe FM) put on a Fugees song this morning, and when Lauren Hill got started Natty said to me, "Bwoy, she can really sing, you know! I wonder why she has stopped singing for so long?". I replied, "Well, I did read somewhere that she was taking a break to be there for her kids for awhile, but that was like five years ago or something!". Wasn't her blockbuster album done five or six years ago? I think so...

Now what could possess that oh so gifted woman to stop singing? I know she and Kymani Marley have a thing going, not sure if they're married or what... Kymani seems like he'd like to be big on the music scene, but... well... so far, hes not. I just hope that Lauryn isn't chilling out of the music scene so as to assuage her man's ego or sup'm... shes got to think of all her fans, nuh true! Cho, man!

Posted by Mad Bull at 10:07 AM | Comments (5)

June 01, 2005

No Post Yesterday?

Yeah, I know, no post yesterday... sorry about that, they are killing me with work, and you know how that is so...

Anyway, I am making it up to you now with a little dumb blonde joke... enjoy it, ok?

Three women all worked in the same office, with the same female boss. Each day they noticed that the boss would leave work early.

One day, the women decided, that when the boss left, they would leave right behind her. After all, she never called, or came back to work, so how would she know they went home early.

The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening, played with her son, and went to bed early.

The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the gym before meeting her dinner date.

The blonde was happy to get home early to surprise her husband. But when she got to the bedroom, she heard a muffled noise coming from inside.
Slowly and quietly she cracked open the door, and was mortified to see her boss in bed with her husband!

Gently she closed the door, and crept out of the house.

The next day the brunette and the redhead had planned on leaving early again and asked the blonde if she was going to go with them.

"NO WAY," the blonde exclaimed, " I ALMOST GOT CAUGHT YESTERDAY!!!"

Thats all till later, folks! Adios.

Posted by Mad Bull at 10:16 AM | Comments (5)