I had a rough day at work, and I feel that I need to compansate for that. I-an-I a go play some pool tonight so I won't be long winded here at all. I am just going to drop a couple of jokes on you and then I'm going to flash, seen? Here they are...
Ghetto Parrot
A woman had a parrot that she took with her everywhere she went. She would even take the parrot to the club with her when she went dancing and drinking on Saturday nights.
Whenever the woman went onto the dance floor, the parrot would yell, "The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire, we don't need no water-let the muthafukkah burn! Burn, muthafukkah, burn!" The crowd on the dance floor would always cheer and holler in appreciation when the parrot would yell. This would make the parrot yell even more and of course make crowd go wild. This would go on all night long, everytime the parrot went out.
One Sunday morning the woman took the parrot to church and into the choir stand with her. When the choir started to sing, the parrot yelled, "The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire, we don't need no water-let the muthafukkah burn! Burn, muthafukkah, burn!
Feeling very embarrassed, she corrected the parrot loudly, "No, no, you do not say that when we're here!!". The parrot looked around and asked, "Why not? These are the same muthafukkahs that was at the club last night!!!
Pretty good, huh? Yeah man, whos your boy! Nuh Mad Bull, man! Have another one on me. Just click on the little link down there...
Respect to all crew! What a gwaan, ppl? (Whats happening)
Bwoy, after my observations last weekend re the fall off in blogging on the weekends, you all must be chuckling and shaking your heads at the fact that I haven't posted anything up till now!
Oh well, what can I tell you? A couple of bredrins came by my house last night. We ended up playing some dominos and knocking back plenty of alcohol. I had a fair amount of Appleton V/X Ting, and when that was done I switched to Bacardi Superior with Pepsi. While I didn't wake up with a hangover, I have been a bit more listless than is usual for me on a Sunday and it was at the point where I didn't even feel like typing.
Three shits, some food, lots of water and a movie later, I am definitely feeling more lively, you done know. Too much info? Yeah, I know, but I'm just trying to live up to my reputation of crassness.
Now that the crassness quotient has been sufficiently increased, lets chat a bit. You know how GLAAD and OutRage! have impressed it upon anyone who will listen that Jamaica is a homophobic nation? Well, I think they need to wheel and come again. I think the majority of the english speaking Caribbean is homophobic, not just Jamaica! Why single Jamaica out?
Looky here, the Cayman Net News ran front page articles about the fact that an all gay cruise would be stopping in Cayman on the 31st of January and about the fact that many people here are angry that the Gov't has allowed the gays to stop here. I would link the article, but NetNews doesn't post the current newspaper online, so Thursday's paper is up, not Friday's... (Updated: Here is that article now)The issue has inflamed the Caymanians! It has been on the talk shows nonstop. "Cayman is a christian country...", "God said homosexuality is an abomination!...", yadda, yadda, yaddah, over and over on the radio, and some group plans to have a protest march when the gays come off the ship. Hey, Cayman has turned away gay cruises in the past, so this represents a step forward if you're gay or if you believe in non-discrimination based on sexual preferences. For the majority of the Caymanians though, it represents a huge step back.
Hey, if you want to continue reading this, click on the link below, seen?
Respect, rasspect, in every Aspect! Big up to that Gyal from Guyana, my crew... she has been nominated for the Bloggies!
Bwoy, I have not focused on international blogging for so long now that I had forgotten that the Bloggies existed! (Yeah, recently I have been reading strictly Caribbean weblogs! Maybe I am trying to foster the growth of us bloggers from this region.) Maybe there was this little niggling bit of jealousy deep within my guts too, because I was sure that I would never be nominated for it! Maybe thats why I haven't concerned myself with it?! "Surely that shyte is just for the "A Listers!", I would exclaim!
Well, a blogger from Latin America has been nominated, she is Guyana Gyal, she is on my blog roll and I'm excited! I have been reading something about her winning too, but I am not too sure what that is about, because I read at the Bloggies site that the winners would be selected by January 31, and even though I have my head in the clouds (some, like Natty f'rinstance, would say that I had my head way up my ass! ), I am sure I would know it if January 31 had passed!
I even hovered my mouse over the right hand lower side of my screen and saw that I was right, it was not yet the 3ist! Compi wouldn't lie to me, now would she?.
What does the fact that the 31st hasn't passed mean to you, fellow members of CariBlogrs? What does it mean to you, my faithful (if few) readers? It meens that oonoo have got to get oonoo butt over to the Bloggies website and vote for Guyana Gyal as the best Central American blog! You owe it to us all! Go! Now!
Congrats, GG! I'm not worthy...
Oh, and to those who wanna hate, I say you can go kiss my hairy
Awoah!
Oh yeah, and judging from all the sites I checked out who were on the Bloggies list, that "Four things" meme I did in the previous blog post was way popular! Everybody was doing it!
Another thing to big up... Global Voices Online has up a post that attempts to look at Caribbean blogging from a historical perspective... go check that out too nuh...
Have a little meme on me... Ok, its not mine, I stole it from Campfyah. Anyway, its all about the magical, mystical number 4. Why is it magical and mystical? Ask me another time, I have been drinking. Anyways, here are the questions (and answers) below:
Four jobs you've had in your life:
Blogger (either 4 or 5 years, I bin drinking... go check my archives yourself)
Gofer in a clothing store at Christmas time
Clerical work at a utility company
Oracle DBA/Developer
Four movies you could watch over and over are:
The Jerk, with Steve Martin
Die Hard (the series) with Mel Gibson and Danny Glover
Lord of The Rings and last but not least,
Wall to Wall Skin (it has in Jade Hsu, Jewel De Nyle, Arianna Giovanni, and Adriana Sage... what more could a man want? Ok, I'm kidding! They aren't all in that film, but a man can dream, cant he? )
Four places you've lived:
Stony Hill, Jamaica
Liguanea, Jamaica
Newlands, Grand Cayman
Northward, Grand Cayman
Four TV shows you love to watch:
Well, currently I am deeply into American Idol
Wings
Highlander
Living Single... yeah, dawg, I liked it... also Girlfriends
Four places you've been on vacation:
Mexico City
Miami/Fort Lauderdale
Jamaica
Grand Cayman
(I have been to a few more places, but that was for work.)
Four websites you visit daily
Of course, I could just list my blogging bredrins/sistrens in the Caribbean Blogs section in the left hand sidebar, but that wouldn't be fair...
Google
Yahoo Mail
Hotmail.com
www.msn.com
Four of your favorite foods:
Indian
Chinese
Thai
Seafood
Four places you'd rather be:
Kingston, Jamaica
Weston, Florida
Phoenix, Arizona
Atlanta, Georgia
Four albums I like best
God, I have no idea on this one... there are so many... looking at recent music though, one album that I would like to get is Green Day's 'Bullet in a Bible' CD, but I wouldn't want it until mid year 2006, by which time the songs may have been removed from heavy, saturated rotation on the airwaves. They are great songs, but I still don't want to hear the same thing over and over and over and over....
Ok, now that I'm done, all of oonoo free to take up this thing, you know! Gwaan, man, go do your thing! Anyway, I gotta go get ready to go slave for the man.
At least its Friday! T.G.I.F!!!! Thats why I dropped Ghetto Story for you all... if you leave my page loaded while you read OPB (other people's blogs), then you can rock to the strains of the '85' riddim. Its an extended play version.
How do you mean, this is a Thursday post, not a Friday post? Its both! I started it last nite, got tired and went to bed and finished it this morning... don't stress, you don't wanna test! Anyways, peace out, mah peeps! Have fun this weekend! I'm out.
Hey, oonoo remember the Jamaican Bobsleigh Team? Crazy stuff, nuh true? Hmph... Well, if thats what you thought about those guys, what would you think of a Jamaican dog sled racer,i.e. a Jamaican 'driver' on a sled pulled by Siberian Huskies? Sounds improbable, no? Well, maybe the Bobsleigh team won't be the 'hottest thing on ice' much longer, because Devon Anderson of Jamaica takes part in his first Dog-sled event this weekend in Europe, and he has high hopes of competing in other races and eventually of taking part in the Winter Olympics of 2010!
A couple of interesting points... he is funded by Chris Blackwell (who used to be Bob Marley's record producer) and Jimmy Buffet (the country singer who is involved in Margaritaville)... He has never seen snow before... He has been training in Kingston using a three wheeled sled pulled by a team of four mongrels rescued from the dog pound!
So what you think? Him mad, sick, head nuh good? I dunno... but I wish him good luck this weekend still, and I hope he makes it to the Olympics in 2010! Big up, Devon!
Light fare for today... at least, for now. Don't know about later. Who knows, later may be greater... Anyway, for now, check out the jokes below.
Take No Chances
A man, his wife, and mother-in-law went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there the mother-in-law passed away. The undertaker told them, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for $150.
The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.
The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your mother-in-law home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150.
The man replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance.".
The Yardie Bone, A.K.A. Snow in Jamaica
A lady goes on vacation to Jamaica. Upon arriving, she meets a black man, and after a night of passionate love making she asks him, "What is your name?" "I can't tell you" the black man says.
Every night they meet and every night she asks him again what his name is and he always responds the same way, he can't tell her.
On her last night there she asked again, "Can you please tell me your name?" I can't tell you my name because you will laugh at me.", said
the Black man. "There is no reason for me to laugh at you," the lady said. "Fine, my name is Snow!" the black man replied. Immediately the lady burst into laughter! The black man got mad and said, "I knew you would make fun of my name!". The lady replied, "I'm not making fun of your name. I'm thinking of my husband who won't believe me when I tell him that I had 10 inches of Snow everyday in Jamaica!".
Oh, have a look at this hottie from the Bahamas... Bwoy, immediately when I saw her, she brought to mind a line from a song by Mad Cobra, "You haffi likkle and cute if you wah man fi slam"... Hey, can any of you tell me which song that was? Anyway, a bredrin of mine is building this site and I thought I would share this picture (taken from that site) with you. His site, CaribbeanHottie.com, is still a work-in-progress, but the idea is that people will be able to submit their pictures (or pictures of hotties they know and want to have posted) to him eventually. Give the site a look see and send the brother any suggestions or comments, seen? If anything worthy of chatting to oonoo about later happens, you done know! Inna di 'owaz! (Later!)
Bwoy, I notice that the majority of the Caribbean blogging community is not into the weekend blogposting thing at all. The Caribbean section of the blogosphere well silent! (At least, that part of it that I have mapped out)
You know what? I am going to make some noise...
Di Realest Ting!
So, what do I have to tell you? Hmmm.... ok, I am going to just give you a rundown of my week so far.
Trust me, I have had an interesting week. I got home late every night, but Wednsday and Thursday took the cake, as I got home at 9:00pm and 10:30pm on those nights.
You see, my company has just bought and is in the process of implementing a software package which is brand spanking new. The software hasn't been out longer than a few months, and the technology that it is based on, Microsoft Biztalk 2004, is also brand spanking new. There doesn't seem to be a lot of manuals out there for this technology as yet and the one book we found at Amazon on the topic has been universally derided in all the reviews as being useless!
You done know that I had to be doing some detailed note taking.
On top of that, the vendor's consultant seems to still be learning stuff about the technology, and there were several niggling problems which I am sure will be coming back to bite me in the ass now that the consultant has flown out. Based on all that I have written, you done know that I was desirous of unwinding after work on Friday!
Well, Natty, M'Buthulezi and I went to a favourite restaurant/drinking hole right by the sea. We picked up MBJr. who does swimming lessons there and then we ate some good food and we knocked back some good liquor.
There is more, of course... Click pon de link below, nuh?
N.B. UPDATED @ 23 Jan 2006 08:52am : Changed the song from Macka Diamond's 'Bun Him' to Natural Black's Far from Reality. The 'Season' riddim was a run it . Updated again @ 25 Jan 2006 10:15pm : Vybz Kartel's 'Di Realest Ting', on the 'Jump Off' Riddim. Enjoy! Updated again @ 27 Jan 2006 06:28am : Baby Cham's 'Ghetto Story', on the 'Eighty Five' Riddim.
Are you ready for Carnival? Judging from the front page of the Trinidad Express newspaper, Janet Jackson is ready! She got some nice bosoms, nuh true?
So, oonoo ready? Bwoy, it don't look like I-an-I am going to make it this year, once again!
Cho man, it looks like I have to start planning from now for next year... right Natty? We have to go to Trinidad Carnival, even once, nuh true? Next year will be the lick!
Yo, I am a man, but that doesn't mean I can't take a joke! Plus, this shyte is funny, man!
Choosing a wife
A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to
see what they do with the money.
The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very
nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.
The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.
Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times
the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs!
Men are like that, you know.
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
I have this cousin I used to hang out with back when I was a likkle yute. We used to play together all the time coming up, because we were the same age, and I guess, because we used to live fairly near to each other. Most of his family migrated somewhere between the 70's and the 80's and I have only seen him twice since then. Its a common story of Yard! Socialism and crime separated many a family.
Anyway, I last saw John when I was in Tampa back in late July, early August. He came to see me when I visited his sister's house and he brought along his daughter, (MBJr's age) and they were both playing with his sister's grand daughter who was also in the same age group. It brought back fond memories of the times when we used to be playing together as kids. Its nice to see the next generation of Bulls playing together, but we will see it only rarely, because we are widely dispersed.
John dropped me back to Jay G's home where I was staying, and when we got into his SUV, the music that was playing was from some Kiddie movie. Along the way home, my cousin changed the cd for his daughter and he put on yet another movie soundtrack CD.
I asked him about it and he told me that both he and his wife do that all the time! They never let their daughter listen to the radio, because of the type of things that she would hear if they did!
Of course, there is more... this includes pictures from the Jr. Gong concert of Friday nite, so be sure to click pon de link dung dehso, seen!
Greetings in the name of His Imperial Majesty, Emperor Haile Selassie the first... you know, I think that I have waited too long to write a review of the Damien Marley concert of Friday night... its like the vibe from the concert is not hot in my blood anymore, its gone stale. Any discussion of the concert will therefore lack the passion that the event really engendered in I-an-I.
As such, I won't go "In Too Deep" with the details of the concert. I will just give you some general impressions that remain with I-an-I.
They got a nice little crowd at the venue. The bar was well stocked and they did have sufficient people serving so that you didn't have to wait too long to slake your thirst.
I only saw three of the acts they had up before Mr. Marley. The first, I have no idea who they were or what they were doing... its like they were just providing background music at a cocktail party or something...
the next act was a rap trio & a couple of their friends. The trio call themselves CBR. They were decent, and at least one of the songs they belted out should be recorded, it should do well... One of the rappers actually used to work at the same company I used to work at (Big up, Jason, you Large!), and it was not a surprise to me to see him up on stage, because he always seemed to have such a livewire character, you know... the center of attention, literally!
The act which immediately preceeded Damien's stage entry was the Impulse band, which is a local band and they were quite good. They had the audience nicely warmed up for Damien too. The only bad thing I can say against them is that they didn't have the sound worked out quite right, IMHO.
Damien's band entered the stage and it was obvious they had done their work re sound checks and ting! They sounded excellent. Damien's backup singers were also excellent. Those ladies can really sing. His bassist seemed to be "Cat" Coore's son. He was excellent. The lead guitarist was awesome! The entire band was tight.
Damien was also excellent. He has a very good stage presence, unlike Sean Paul. He performed many of the songs from the "Welcome to Jamrock" album and he had the audience in the palm of his hand! He also belted out a few songs from "Half Way Tree" and also his signature song, "A Me Name Jr. Gong". The people lapped it up.
There were many, many people of a non-Caribbean persuasion up front giving him plenty "Forwards", flashing up their lighters or waving their cell phones in the air on command. He does seem to have generated some excitement in the non Caribbean audience, and I am happy for him for that. It was very interesting to watch these same people singing along with the Gong as he belted out the "Jamaica, Jamaica" in the song "Welcome to Jamrock", let me tell you.
He performed for about two hours, it was exciting throughout and he never seemed tired or anything. He seemed like he was loving it. A great performance.
There was this girl standing at the back of the stage throughout his performance... I had the distinct impression that she was his woman, but I might be wrong. If she is his woman, well, Junior Gong has great taste. She looked something like the actress Patricia Velasquez (pictured above) who played Anck Su Namun, the wife of Pharoah Seti I, in the movie "The Mummy". Yes, she sort of looked like Anck Su Namun, but with different hair, more clothes and even prettier!
I don't know if she shampoos his locks and ting, but she certainly looks as though the song "Beautiful" should be dedicated to her!
Something else I found interesting... Damien travelled to Cayman with his own security detail. Guess who he hired to do the job? Nuh Hawkeye Security, rasta! They had to subdue a rambunctious fan after Junior Gong left the stage (I know because I went backstage and saw them at work) and they did so easily and at the same time, in a humane manner, keeping the rough stuff to a minimum.
After the guy was handcuffed, they sat him down and also, talked him down. They even wiped the sweat off his face and ting! Nuff respect to them for the way they handled the situation, after all, the guy was probably just a bit too drunk, you done know. We've all been there, am I right?
Hawkeye also provide the panic button and security patrol for my Mamacita, back in Jamaica! I think they are doing a great job and so I am giving them this unsolicited advertisement. Big up, Hawkeye!
Updated 01:16pm : Actually I just checked, there is a local Hawkeye Security company and the security guards may well have been from there, though they were certainly all Yardies! I wonder if there is any connection between the Jamaican company and the Caymanian one? Hmmm... a matter for future research, I suppose... My bigup to the Jamaican Hawkeye still stands, and let me extend a big up to the Caymanian Hawkeye, since the security guards were most likely from there...
Well, its Friday the 13th, my peeps, so be careful... be very careful tonight as you go forth and party... me, I am going to see Damien Marley in concert at Safehaven tonight.
Gotta remember to go easy pon the liquor, because the cops over here are really getting wicked with the road blocks and ting, and it would just be my luck to get stopped and breathalized, so I have to make sure I stay under the limit. Anybody know what the limit is anyway?
Driving in to work this morning I said to myself, “What a beautiful morning!”. There were blue skies everywhere as far as the eye could see and only a very few clouds! “It looks like a great day to go to the beach, bwoy!”, I thought. “Shit, it really is a pity that I wasn’t born filthy rich! Then I wouldn’t need to have a job, and I could do anything that I wanted!”.
Yes, that would really be an irie vibe., after all, its lobster season now here in the Cayman Islands. I could go snorkelling and hunt me some lobster, rasta! Wouldn’t that be awesome!
Of course, knowing me, after the lazy, luxurious lifestyle of the filthy-rich had sunk into me for a bit, I’d probably get bored of it somewhat. Instead of chilling on a beach somewhere soaking up the rays, I’d probably be in exactly the same place where I now am, hunkered down in front of a computer somewhere, typing out plenty lines of code, or maybe of a blogpost. I would most likely end up doing the exact same stuff I now do, because that’s what I find interesting.
Of course, if I was filthy rich, I wouldn’t have to take any crap from the people that I would be reporting to. If they messed with me, I could just walk off the job without a care in the world, or if they really pissed me off, then I could just buy the company outright and fire everybody’s asses!
Maybe it’s a good thing I wasn’t born filthy rich after all, huh, because then I would own many IT companies and I would downsize them all and many people would be gunning for me. I would need to walk with my own security detail to ra$$. Ha, I know who I would hire to be MY bodyguard! Can’t tell you though… if I told you, I’d have to kill you! Ok, as its you, I’ll let you have a little peek… Bwoy, what a fine little bomba, eeeh? Apparently she is Cuban, I found her picture through the Afflicted Blog.
Speaking of Information Systems work, it seems that most companies have a nightly run of some sort. You know what I mean, don’t you? In the day, the regular Joes punch up the keyboards, imputting thousands of records into databases the world over. By night though, a different individual rules the office. Click on the link below to continue, nuh man?
What oonoo up to? I was watching a movie with the Natty one. It was "Red Eye". IMHO, it can watch, but don't kill up yourself to get it. I rated it about 5 or 6/10. However, the movie was rated well at Rotten Tomatoes and at IMDB, so go figure. It probably IS worth the DVD rental after all...
We started the movie at about 9:20pm though. Its now getting late, I won't have time to type in the post I had originally planned for tonight. I have decided to drop a little eye candy on the guys and call it a night. At least this way I know that some of the people who stop by to read this post will appreciate it.
Its not porn, but if you work in a stuffy kind of office, some of the women there might be offended by gratuitous eye candy. Click the link below to continue, but remember, you have been warned...
I read a most interesting post over by Doctor D's site this morning, it seems that the Doc has decided to undergo a change in career. Instead of being a Doctor of Medicine, he now is a Doctor of Love!!
Anyway, we won't delve too deeply into discussing that post here, because I have provided the link above and you can go and read it for yourself, but I will say one thing about that post. A key thing mentioned there is Cow Itch, or cowitch as he calls it in his post.
What is Cow Itch, you ask? Well, its a plant from hell. Actually, I guess its probably like poison ivy, which I have heard of but never personally encountered. If you come into contact with Cow Itch, well, you begin to itch, and depending on the severity of the contact, the itching can be quite severe, so much so as to drive you insane, as suggested by my learned friend, RI of the blog "Revolution Island", in the comments to the above linked post on Doctor D's site.
I have previously posted about my own firsthand encounter with the evil which men call Cow Itch, but I have no idea where to put my hands on that post now. I did came across another story about Cow Itch, one which I found quite entertaining myself and which I decided to share with you all. Go give it a read, its a tale told by a tourist who visits Jamaica regularly and on one of her trips, she had an encounter of the Cow Itch kind. Its good. Go. Read it.
Incidentally, the same tourist has a few other stories, I haven't yet read them, but you can feel free to go ahead before I get to them. Click here to get started.
Having pointed you in the direction of some good reading, I feel I have done my good deed for the day, so I'll toddle off now. See you.
In recent times, I have stayed away from the New Year's resolution thing, after all, New Years resolutions are typically made just to be broken, am I right? Don't get me wrong, there are a number of things that I hope to achieve this year, but I haven't elevated (or should that be relegated) these goals to the level of resolutions... after all, I plan to achieve these goals! Making them resolutions would almost doom them to failure, you know? I didn't want to trivialise them that way.
For the most part, I won't be sharing my goals here, at least, not until they are attained, or until my path to attaining them becomes more clear and certain. I have decided to share one with you all though. This weekend gone was a bit challenging still, my time was distributed very thinly. The reason for this was that I had promised to do things for several people with an end result that I had no time for my own family or myself! Yes, star, people asked me to do this or to do that and me being the nice guy that I am, I immediately answered with a yes, to my detriment. When I stopped to think about it, I realised that this kind of thing happens to me all the time!
This year, I plan to do things differently. Want to see what I'm going to do? Click the link then.
Hey, this Firestream IPTV site is wikid, you know! Thanks to Stunner for the link still! I am sitting here in Grand Cayman watching Hype TV in Jamaica! Irie, man!
Stunner, the only problem I am having is that the volume can't go loud enough!
There is this Cable & Wireless advert that runs everytime you start viewing a station and it is loud nuh ra$$, but the actual video stream from the TV stations has the volume cranked way down!
Since it seems to be a Cable & Wireless initiative, check C&W to turn up the volume for me, nuh man?
Yeah, so Hype TV was showing the top ten Caribbean music videos for the week. You know which one I like? This new Macka Diamond video, "Bun 'im!", featuring some guy named "Black-er". Yes, rasta, its a nice little song, makes you laugh... as long as its not happening to you, that is!
Women, if oonoo having trouble with oonoo man and him naw treat you right, and if him a keep woman with you or him a drunk up himself and a slap-slap you up and ting (if your man is carrying on with lots of shit, basically), well, maybe you need to listen to Macka D and Black-er, yu zimi!
"Bun 'im! Tek man pon 'im! Tek 'im house and land and run 'im! - Macka Diamond & Black-er
Let me know if you don't understand the lyrics of the song, I'll post a translation in the comments. Anyway, its getting late, I have to hit the street, so mi gawn! (I'm gone)
As might be expected, having qualified for the greatest sporting event on Earth, (well, maybe the World Cup has a competitor in the Olympics), the Soca Warriors are making the news all the time. Apparently there was some controversy recently between the Trini Gov't. and the T&T Footall Federation re funding and Jack Warner basically told the Gov't to phuck off!
Thankfully, that issue was smoothed over after a long meeting between Warner and the T&T minister of Sport, or at least thats what I heard on the news (CaribUpdate yesterday)... sometimes we men have to be careful how we let our egos phuck us up (and the causes we support), know what I mean?
Still, the Trinis chest high, eeeh? See they say that they are confident that they will be making it to the second round!
"Trinidad and Tobago administrators are looking to secure a historic berth in the second round of the FIFA World Cup, despite being drawn with seasoned campaigners such as former champions England and Scandinavian powerhouse Sweden in the first round.
The officials in Trinidad are talking confidently while stating that they are not overwhelmed by the occasion of qualifying for their first ever World Cup. - (Source: Jamaica's Sunday Herald Newspaper. Click here to read the entire article. Note: I don't know if the link will be good after Jan 7th)
And thats in a zone with England, Sweden and Paraguay, mind you! Anyway, I am not really knocking them. You have to think that way in sports or you will probably end up making an ass of yourself when you go out on the field, you done know! As they say, if you aim at the stars you will fall on the tree tops... if you aim at the tree tops, you will fall on the ground.
Also, it would be nice if they were able to pull that off, and it would put the spotlight on Caribbean football bigtime, and all the ballers in the Caribbean would benefit, I'm sure... unfortunately that would give the Trinis bragging rights over Jamaica and we would prolly never hear the end of it!
Then again, maybe the ReggaeBoyZ would then have more motivation to get there themselves! I wish the Soca Warriors great luck, you hear! I hope they achieve their goal. Awoah!
Have a Happy Friday, y'all! Don't drink and drive though.
Its a little soon, I know, but thats how we roll sometimes, you done know... joke number two:
A cowboy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it's a gay bar.
"What the heck," he says to himself, "I really want a drink."
When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the cowboy, "What's the name of your willy?" The cowboy says, "Look, I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink." The gay waiter says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your willy. Mine for instance is called NIKE, for the slogan 'Just Do It.' That guy down at the end of the bar calls his SNICKERS, because 'It really Satisfies.'"
The cowboy looks dumbfounded, so the bartender tells him he will give him a second to think it over. So the cowboy asks the man sitting to his left who is sipping on a beer, "Hey bud, what's the name of yours?" The man looks back and says with a smile, "TIMEX." The thirsty cowboy asks, "Why Timex?" The fella proudly replies, "Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin!".
A little shaken, the cowboy turns to two fella's on his right, who happen to be sharing a fruity Margarita and says, "So, what do you guys call yours?" The first man turns to him and proudly exclaims, "FORD, because 'Quality is Job One'." Then he adds, "Have you driven a Ford lately?"
The guy next to him then says, "I call mine CHEVY .. 'Like a Rock!'" and gives him a wink!
Even more shaken, the Cowboy has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for his manhood. Finally, he turns to the bartender and exclaims, "The name of my willy is SECRET. Now give me a beer." The bartender begins to pour the cowboy a beer, but with a puzzled look asks, "Why Secret?" The cowboy says, "Because it's' STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN!
Look out for more adjustments to this post too, y'all! Inna de latahs, seen?
UPDATED : Ok, this post has been updated, so even if you read it already, scan through it again.
Yo! I am back in Turtle Country, albeit after a rough trip. Actually, the flight itself was pretty good, the roughness I referred to all occurred in the Air Jamaica terminal. Mi friend, it seems as though every Jamaican who flew in to Yard for the Christmas season was flying back out at the same time that Natty, MBJr., and I was! The terminal did full, it full, it full! Then, on top of all the disorganisation and long lines ensuing as a result of the huge crowd, the air conditioner in the terminal was on the blink! The place did hot, it hot, it hot! Natty was most incensed at having to endure all that, and she says she'll never fly Air Jamaica again. Me, I say wait until next time we go on a trip, then we'll see if she means it.
Anyway, as I remarked earlier, the flight was pretty good. As usual, Kingston looked beautiful by night, with all the lights and everything. Really nice! The cloud cover was very light, and so I got a good view of Montego Bay from the air as well. It doesn't look too bad itself, especially since at night, you can't see the ugly squatter settlements that litter the hills beside the airport in MoBay!
The plane then approached Grand Cayman from the south east and it flew along the south coast, giving me a wonderful view of the whole island.
Of Frenchmen, Caymanians, Jamaicans and Venezuelans
Well, its January 2 and The Frenchmen party, "Climax '06" (which was an all inclusive session, i.e. you pay one price and eat and drink all you want) is now history. It was definitely a fitting end to a wonderful vacation! Ppl, it was an irie session! Everywhere you looked, there was some irie eye candy!
If you looked one way, the dawtas were beautiful. If you looked in another direction and they weren't beautiful, then their body was shocking out, bigtime! If they didn't possess natural beauty or an awesomely proportioned body, then you only had to look past them at their friends, who had it all going on! Definitely, on the eye candy scale, the Frenchmen party was a success! As a bredrin remarked to me, "It look like say the Gyal truck turned over at this party!".
Judging by comments from Natty's sister, there was enough eye candy for the women as well. Natty of course maintains that she wasn't looking at nobody! Yeh right, Natty!
Then there was the food. Click the link below to continue...
