Fuh Card
Bwoy, “Crazy” dangerous bad, you know! 
The man is a master at what he does still, which is writing lyrics which employ what is known as double entendre. Crazy come out with a song for 2008, right? At least, I think is a 2008 song, is the first I hear it. I believe it is called “Fuh Card”. (Update: Its called “Phone Card”.)
Check this out, the man’s lyrics wikid! The man is talking about a real phenomenon, seen! I know this, because a bredrin tell me his problems the other day. Yeah man! He was looking this young gyal, right! From him meet her, she size him up! He is an older man, he just want to grine her and then him done wid her. She, well, she prefer her young stallions dem, but they only strong in the lovin’ department, you simi?
Dem pocket well, well soft! Her pocket soft too, right, so what she going do? She use up the big man dem weh waan run her body red! Simple as that! Every big man that waan check her, them have to let off sup’m! What them let off depend on the heat of their desire and the size of dem wallet, seen? What them get, well… lets just say that some probably lucky more dan some.
Now my bredrin, him waan put on a slam pon her bad bad, but him pocket not so strong as him would like. Him married wid yute already and him have ‘outta door’ pickney to mind pon toppa dat! Still, him have more dollars than she, so him still sorta ‘attractive’, seen?
Him can’t buy her no frock pon de regular, him can’t go street wid her neither, so what use she select for the bredrin? Him haffi give her phone card, rasta! She well popular and to maintain her links dem ah cost her, so she need somebody to fund that!
Every time me bredrin pick her up, she waan a phone card. Now, my bredrin not a fool still, he know what going on, but he feel that sometime you have to give a little in order to get a little 
, and so he give her the phone cards for awhile, until he decide say it REALLY look like nutting naw go gwaan for him none at all! Once him get fed up, him stop pick her up, but she done get her phone card dem areddy! Plus, she still have her sexy body to help her find another phone card supplier, so she alright!
Is just so the sit’n set up, star! Ah one real real sit’n that ah gwaan back in Jamaica daily, and from Crazy song, it ah gwaan in Trinidad too! Since Crazy sing bout it, and since he is in the “older man” crew, (at least, his beard says so!), I can only assume he was under similar pressure wid one young ting.
So anyway, that was the first level at which the man’s lyrics wicked, here is the second! “She only want me fuh card!”, say that fast! Yes, star, the man use a little sleight of “hearing” and cuss bad word pon de air, and ah proclaim how the woman coming and she only want him fuck hard! Funny! Crazy! You see why they call him “Crazy” now?
Big up, Crazy! It nah win “Soca Monarch” but people will laugh still. Respect. Listen to the song if you want to… (You’ll need Real Player).
Anyways. Me a lef’ oonoo now. Me ah go to the gym, then to a pool party wit’ ah possee ah woman!
Ok, ok, don’t get it twisted! Natty ago deh deh. Huh? Whaddat you say? How me mean fi take sand to the beach? Cho! Kibbah you mout’, yah! You waan Natty give you one ra$$ claat bitch slap or wah? 
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Recently I heard someone say Crazy is 60 yrs old or thereabouts so he definitely fits the older man category.
You can count on him for double entendre fuh real
funny stuff, gotta listen to that one..
lol @ “fuh card”
Sound like one of those fun songs!
[...] I have a question about the last post I wrote. When I wrote it, it felt right to me to write it in patois. Sometimes the vibe just takes me to [...]
See Boops deh !! RESPECT !!
a few years back another trinidad kaiso man talk about going fuh cane and i remember growing up john king in barbados sing a song about the bus terminal an how when he went to join the line for the bus they want him fuh queue . love that double entendre but they did ban it from the radio.
hear what ya say about the young girls. i guess as you say ya have to give to get but from the woman point of view she working wid a depreciating asset so i hope she make a profit an store fa later cause in four five years when body use up and abuse up man move on to next young target an leff her maybe wid a pickney or two to support an no marketable skills beyond the body which nuh worth much no more
a so it a go
When I first read this post, I wondered what it was about, due to the risque title. As for that fellow, well, such is life nowadays. Consider yourself a lucky fellow if you land a hot girl who doesn’t tax you for some lovin’.
thats like lovendeer cricket song…wait…a never lovendeer did sing it? anyway the “for cup” song
you kno that one? how when cricket came to caribbean everybody was “foh cup” yeah man seh dat faas too! lol francois had a ball with that one!
I’m not a soca fan and “f**k hard” (don’t want to swear on your blog)… I mean fuh card had me rolling. I love it. Just like I don’t want to live n Norfolk. Love this post.
Hi — I read the entry, and this is what I think –
Writing in creole is not the issue here. I often do, and enjoy doing so; it just depends on what side of my brain I’m working out of at that moment. Sure it takes a bit more work to read and get the meaning; that’s because we don’t have much practice doing so. Haiti, that Jamaicans love to hate, are leap years ahead on the issue of writing and publishing in creole.
I also don’t think much about writing about sex. Sex just is. Nothing special or necessarily taboo for me, so I don’t see the need to *not* be explicit.
What is at issue here for me, is the overt anti-woman language that you use. “Her pocket well well soft.” I felt my whole body cringe, and had to work to get through the rest of the stuff. You clearly have no idea how vile that phrase is. Growing up as a girl, that language was used by old(er) men in rum bars and on the side of the street to describe their fantasies about fucking virgin schoolgirls. The pocket reference is also a play on the fact that that men/boys often felt up girls by putting their hands in the girls’ uniform pockets. In fact, the term was never meant to be alluring or in any way, and was not until now, used in mixed ‘polite’ company, but to express the pornographic ways that married and 50 plus men past their prime imagine underage girls who they wanted to service them. In most other places, we would call these expressions pedophilic, but not in contemporary Jamaica, and certainly not in this post; here it reads as “culture”.
I see the casual use of such language as a reflection of a bigger change in how we use jamaican creole. I have noticed that the words, turns of phrase etc. from people I grew up with, older people I associate with, are very different from the language used by many younger (under 30 years) people. The “patois” of younger folks is highly influenced by popular culture and particularly, dancehall lyrics and hiphop. Fucking is a sport competition apparently, and a bloody one at that; someone has to practically pass out with exhaustion, be unable to function or be near death, and its always the woman. It seems that we live out our violent society even in our most private and intimate lives.
Because we are not very mindful of where we get things from, and what we are taking up as “ours”, I am not surprised that there is little awareness that some of the language floating around about sex - “running her red”, etc. - and the sense that women’s bodies are useful only as things to be used and exhausted by and for men (notice that our discussions of sex are never about women fucking other women…god forbid we imagine that women could be getting something out of it besides a flippin’ phone card!).
All that to say, how we express ourselves in creole has changed, and we need to be aware of what we are saying, and what it means. We, including you Mad Bull, can write about sex with no sugar coating and with lots of humor — without degrading the bodies and the souls of the people who are engaging in sex. That’s it.
Hey, Long Bench. What up? Interesting comment. Just so you know, “Her pocket well well soft” speaks to her not having any money to buy phone cards. I guess you just unearthed yet another bit of “double entendre”, excellent!
That one was not planned, however.
Next, let me say I agree with you, older people speak different patois, and the language is driven by the dancehall.
Finally, you said : “We, including you Mad Bull, can write about sex with no sugar coating and with lots of humor — without degrading the bodies and the souls of the people who are engaging in sex.”
Again, I agree with you. Still, when men are chatting to men about women, this is generally how they express themselves, and I was just reproducing that in the post. Don’t believe that younger guys are any different either, they probably talk about such things using worse language than the older men.
Also, (I guess the point above wasn’t the last one, huh?
) of course women get something out of it! Perhaps they don’t get it from the man who is buying their phone card, thats all! The intent of the guy who was buying the phone card was really to get himself a piece, not necessarily to make sweet love to the woman. Thats unfortunate, but again, thats just how it is. I was not necessarily condoning that, but these things happen, and I don’t think we have to pretend they do not.
By the way, I hope you realize that many women speak about men in a manner that degrades their bodies and souls quite often too, usually to other women, but also, to men whom they feel comfortable doing so with. They are quite comfortable with this kind of talk, and they even seem to like it.
My advice therefore is that you don’t worry too much about things such as this. If the language in this post disturbs you, simply move on to the next post. One of the things I take pride in is that I tend to write about a variety of things. I’m sure you can find something else to read here.
TTYL.
This is quite interesting. I am from Sierra Leone.I am not sure whether you are aware that there is also a form of creole widely spoken here. We call it Krio. It is also very driven by “music”.
@ Mad Bull. The other day after a few drink(okay moe than a few) my friends and I had a long conversation about the difference between prostitution and a relationship. Looking and the definition of prostitution in the oxford dictionary you may well find that the line is very thin. In many cases there is no difference.
[...] I got an interesting comment upon my post, “Fuh Card“. I have decided to post something about this comment. Its going to be a bit more of a roast [...]
MB — I’m not upset with a capital U. This is one of a few blogs I actually read AND respond to, so if you take the trouble to write something in creole, I’ll read it even if its working my nerves.
Many straight women do and say a lot of things with and about the men they fuck that I would not repeat or condone on any day or night. That does not make it right. That’s why I used term “people” rather than man or woman. I say conduct yourself with a bit of self-respect and don’t take yourself too seriously (well, I think we know you don’t) and we’ll be fine…happy writing!
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Mystro — if we believe and treat bodies as not much more than something to be exchanged for something of equal or higher value, then there’s no difference. That’s why many marriages are merely a form of prostitution — often the women trading themselves for a last name, male companionship and whatever else. Pathetic but real.
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