The Mad Bull’s Blog, Version 3

So Friday, just a bit after five PM, I came from the sixth floor and sat at my desk, cursing my luck at being the last person left in the department who had the necessary access rights to fulfil the job when the emergency request came in to print the loans reports. There I sat, trying to finish up installing Adobe PDF Xchange and get it working so that I could handle this late request as quickly as possible so that I could flash out.

A colleague who sits near to me was in discussion with another guy from another department, and I couldn’t help but overhear. I started listening in the middle of the discussion, so I don’t know how they got into the discussion, but I am just going to run the track, ok?

Guy from Other Dept in IT. (hereinafter called “GODIT”): “So maybe you can come around to my house and do my washing!”.
Colleague (hereinafter called “COL”) : “No, mate. I will send my wife around. She handles that department.”.
GODIT: “Well, I am a married guy and I am not dissing your wife in any way, but I must say that she is great to look at, so thank you very much!”.

Now normally I would have slightly raised eyebrows at this due to the comments from both guys, but I have come to learn that COL is a bit of a sexist pig and GODIT is always saying things to make you raise your eyebrows, so I ignore them and try to finish what I was doing. As a result, I missed some of the discussion. I did hear some comment about wife swapping from COL when I tuned back in though…

They both started talking about not being into that sort of thing, but they both also were quick to say that they had both been in the situation where they were asked if they were into that by another couple who was interested in swinging with them. GODIT intimated that this had happened to him while he was in college. “Its ok when you’re in college, you know, but you can’t have your WIFE sleeping with some other guy!”, he said.

COL intimated that this had happened to him as well, and not so long ago either. “She just came straight out with it and asked me, you know! ‘Are you and Keva into swinging, because Derrick and I rather fancy you both and we would totally like to get with you.’”.

He went on to say that he was so surprised that all he could think of to respond was that she should ask his wife. She went straight off and asked his wife, who said no. His wife came back to him later and said, “Darling, you’ll never believe what Darlene just came up and asked me!”, and she told him and he told her that he knew, and that she had come up and asked him and he had told Darlene to ask her because he was flabbergasted when she asked him.

Now I still hadn’t joined in the conversation or anything. I was in a hurry to “get the fuck out of Dodge” before more work came my way, you simi? Still, I had was to wonder…. “Whappem?! Tree mussi a grow inna my face or sup’m!”.

After all, I have never been approached by a couple who wanted to swing with my wife and I!
Why the fuck not?! It seems to happen all the time!

Why, even my bro-in-law and his wife told me recently that they were approached by another couple when they went on their honeymoon at one of the super-inclusive hotels in Jamaica. Whappem! Natty and me nuh desirable too?!

Actually, maybe it is really me who has been souring the deal, because I know about several bisexual/lesbian women who are interested in Natty, and also I know of many men who would like to be dealt a hand in any game that Natty would ever choose to deal. It must be me who ah screw it up! Cho, bumbo claat!

Not that I am saying I really want to be so approached, as I basically agree with GODIT. I can’t just sit back and chill knowing my WIFE is being boned by another man, but still! Its nice to be wanted, nah mean?

So what do you say? Have you ever been approached to do a little swapping? Tell me about it in the comments nuh?

And in the mean time, check out this little joke about swinging:

Aliens In Jamaica

There was this couple sitting on the porch in Westmoreland, Jamaica watching the sun go down. All of a sudden this shooting light went across the sunset.

Wife: “A wha dat?”
Husband: “A mus’ one space ship.”

Wife: “Spaceship???? You damn Eeediat!!”
A little while later the couple went back into the house. Suddenly there was a knock on the door and the husband opened it. There was an alien couple on the doorstep.

Alien Male: “Good evening, we come in peace. May we rest in your dwelling while our space ship is fixed?” The husband’s eyes almost popped out of his head because the female alien had a WICKED body.

Husband: “Come een, come een. Of course you can come an’ res’ yuhself.” So the husband and wife fed and watered their guests and showed them to their room for the night.

Male Alien: “Where we come from it is our tradition to swop partners when we have guests.” Well, the husband was up to it, because the female alien was seriously turning him on with her looks.

Husband: “Well, dats alright with me.”
Wife: “Oh, I don’t know, because I don’t really believe in dat kind of t’ing.”

Husband: “Come on honey, is only a lickle bit of fun, an nobody nuh gwine know.”
Wife: “Well, OK then.”

The male alien takes the wife into his room, and, knowing that she wasn’t 100% comfortable with the idea, he was very gentle and gave her plenty foreplay. When they got into the swing of things the male alien asked, “would you like a bit more length?”

Wife: “Likkle more length,? hee! hee!, a wha yuh mean? How you gwine do dat?”

So the alien twists his right ear, and presto!, his willy gets longer. Well the wife was having a whale of a time when the Alien asked, “would you like a bit more width?”

Wife: “Width! Well, OK then.”
So the alien twists his left ear, and presto!, his willy gets fatter.

The following morning the wife wakes up with the biggest smile you can imagine on her face and walks into the living room to find her husband looking vex sitting on the sofa.

Wife: “Hello darling, did you have a good night last night?”

Husband: “Stuups ….. No! All night long di damn woman just deh deh a twis up, twis up mi rass ears dem”.

Me gone, yah! Peace out.

Tags: Idle Shyte //