The first few photos to be found by following this link are his. Enjoy!

For those of you who can’t / don’t want to follow that link, I still have something for you! Here is a little bit of humour for this nice Thursday morning. This joke was sent to me by my bredrin Bobby, from Jamaica.

Never Assume That Men Understand
A woman had been in a coma for months. Nurses were in her room giving her a bed bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor whenever she touched her there… They tried it again and sure enough, there was definite movement. They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, ‘As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick & bring her out of the coma.’The husband was sceptical, but they assured him that they would close the curtains for privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into his wife’s room. After a few minutes the woman’s monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate. The nurses ran back into the room. ‘What happened!?’ they cried..The husband said, ‘I’m not sure; maybe she choked. NEVER ASSUME THAT MEN UNDERSTAND.

Respec’, Bobby! Dah one deh did wicked, star!

Gonna run now and do the people dem work, you zimi? Have a great day!

Ok, well, it appears that I either did not write about it, or if I did write about it, I can’t find it. As such, I will provide you with a couple of links.

Here is one to the news report on the murder at the time Mrs. Scott-Roberts was found: Click here.

Here is a link to the news item on when the men were held for the murder: Click Here.

Wow, I can’t believe I didn’t write about this murder in my blog! I was ranting about it lots at the time! I guess I did most of my writing about it on Facebook. Can’t find that stuff again… Damn…

Anyway, this morning, I read that one of the men was given additional sentences by the island’s top judge, namely 20 years for rape, 15 years for abduction and 13 years for robbery, all to run concurrently with his life sentence.

Now, I am not a lawyer or anything, and so maybe I am not learned enough, so I have always thought it amusing when you hear one someone on a life sentence getting additional time. Hey, I have even heard of some getting multiple life sentences! It sounds funny, doesn’t it?? I mean, why give someone multiple life sentences? Everyone has only one life to live, right? Why give them all these extra sentences? Aren’t they just pointless?

This morning, it occurred to me though… Suppose, for the sake of argument, that there was a fire at the prison and this prisoner stepped up and did something really heroic and ended up saving the life of 10 prison officers or something extravagant like that! Let us say that the Governor was moved to pardon the prisoner of the life sentence…. Guess what! He would still be serving the 20, 15 and 13 year sentences! He would STILL be doing time! Perhaps these multiple sentences do serve a purpose after all!

What I STILL don’t get though, is this business of running ALL the sentences concurrently. Why do that? To me, they should run consecutively! When one sentence finishes, then the other one starts! Especially when the man is convicted for such a heinous crime! After all, if the supposed fire I discussed above were to occur when the prisoner had already served 20 years, then when the Governor pardons him, he would be released from prison immediately. We can’t have that, now can we? What do you think?

Whats that? How come only one of these men got the extra sentences? Oh, don’t worry. The other guy will have his day in court! He wasn’t tried on these charges as yet only because he didn’t have any legal representation.

Being the softie that I am, his sad face tore at my heartstrings and so I canceled with M’Buthelezi and Natty and I decided not to go out with friends to a bar, but rather, to go to a nice restaurant and to take MBJr. with us. We ended up at the Sea Harvest Restaurant, by Sunset House. Very good food! I had a Vegetable Somosa for the appetizer. It was great. Hey, they made it up sort of like a patty, and I noticed that they also had beef somosas on the menu, so it occurred to me that maybe, just maybe, the idea for Jamaican patties came from the somosas that the immigrants from India brought with them from their homeland! If I am right, we have patties and ganja to thank them for!

I also had something called ‘Matabir Fish Curry’ or something like that. The fish was Snapper and the dish was excellent!
Natty and MBJr. also enjoyed their dishes, and we will be back! That makes three new restaurants we have been to recently, Lobster Pot, Legends and now Sea Harvest. (I have actually been to Sea Harvest before, but that was like 4 years ago, and it seems like they have new chefs, so I am counting it like a new restaurant.)

In other news, we had four shooting incidents between 6:00pm Thursday and 6:00pm Friday! Cayman is getting rather dangerous, star! Scary! Two guys were wounded in West Bay, a house (or was it some cars) were shot up in Windsor Park, and a woman was shot in the face by Mary Street. Mary Street is less than a stone’s throw from where I work! I travel on Mary Street regularly, I eat lunch there sometimes, it is where I take my car to be washed… Scary! A Facebook friend of mine said she lived down the street from one of the guys who was shot in West Bay! Something needs to be done. I don’t know what it is, but the Government needs to get wicked on these criminals!

I also noticed that ‘cousin Alden’ advocated for allowing civilians to bear arms for self defense in the Legislative Assembly. Surprising, given how gung ho Cayman has always been on being gun free! Hell, even the vast majority of the police don’t have guns! Yet another way that Cayman seems to be becoming ‘Little Jamaica’. If they pass this into law, I bet plenty more shoot outs occur in bars here though! These mofos over here drink like fish and they seem to be quick to come to blows! Imagine if they have firearms upon them, legal or illegal!

Anyway, I gone to check out Facebook and Twitter! TTYL.

I went to work and was greeted by a lot of good natured ribbing about age by my colleagues. The funniest greeting: “Hi Kevin. You look like CRAP! Still, you are getting really old, so I guess its to be expected.”.
The guy who said this has maybe 5 years on me, so it MUST have been a joke, right? Right?

The work load throughout the day was reasonably light. Natty and I went to lunch and had a nice time. When I got back from lunch, my colleagues surprised me with an ice cream cake from Dairy Queen. Really nice! (They would also have laid on some patties and donuts, but Natty and another woman nixed those. Maybe they think I am getting a bit round. Gym later, you hear!

After the cake, a bredrin and I snuck out for a bit and went to Margueritaville. He had a beer and I had a screwdriver and the bartender (a beautiful Asian woman from Canada) spent time chatting with us.

After work, Natty and MBJr. took me to Legends Bar for dinner and a couple of cocktails. Nice. Legends is a sports bar, and when you are in there, you feel like you are in some big name sports bar in the U.S. It was the first time I had been there for food and the second time I had been there at all. I loved it and so did Natty and MBJr. We will definitely go back.

When I got home, I checked out all my birthday greetings on Facebook. They made me happy, and some of them even made me laugh! I felt the love. Thanks to my FB family.

Huh? Oh, yeah, I know, it doesn’t sound all that out of the ordinary of a way to celebrate one’s birthday. Still, sometimes its who you were with rather than what you did that makes a moment special, nah mean? The peeps at work are a bunch of great guys and Natty and MBJr., well, they are really special, so…

In other news, we had an earthquake here this week! Well, really just a tremor! It was 4 point something. I didn’t even feel it, though my boss did! Some people evacuated the building, but most people just stayed put.

Also, I heard about huge patches of garbage found in the Atlantic and the Pacific Oceans! Have you heard about this too? Apparently it is comprised of broken down plastics and debris from all the trash we humans create and it poses a major threat to sea birds and animals. When I say huge patches, I mean huge! The one in the Pacific is estimated to be larger than Texas! Read more here.

I wonder if it is possible to clean it up?

I also heard about this 26 foot high freak wave that struck a cruise ship, killing at lease two people and injuring several others! I don’t get how a wave thats only 26 feet high did so much damage, but it did! I mean, the cruise ship is way higher than 26 feet high, and I would have thought that all the windows in the ships hull would be more than 26 feet higher than the ocean! In the picture, they look like they would be higher than 26 feet high!

Is a 26 foot high wave all that freakish, anyway? I would think that waves that high are not all that uncommon. Hmmm… Bwoy, all these freak waves and hurricanes and earthquakes are worrying! Looks like Nostradamus might have been on to something based on that old documentary on his predictions for the end of the world, huh? Do you think I should go to church on Sunday?

Anyway, its getting late. I have to go get ready for work, so I have to leave you. Bye, guys!

Ok, it being a Friday, I should give you some eye candy, nuh true? Okay, here what. Today I am going to post a picture of a pornstar I came across, Jayden Jaymes! Its a tame photo though, reminiscent of the kind of costume a waitress from Hooters wears, so I won’t hide the picture with a “more” tag. Enjoy, fellas.

Why did I choose Jayden’s picture to share with you? Well, its not like she does everything and anything in her movies and that is why… at least, not in the movies I’ve seen. No, its all about the looks, ladies and gents. All about the looks and the body. What a smoking bod!

Anyway… What should I talk to you all about? Hmmm… I know! Desperate Housewives! Yeah, why not? Hey, I have been watching Desperate Housewives for awhile now. I am on Season 4 now, and I bet I will be up to the current season, up to the current episode by mid March! I know some people think I am watching it just because Natty wants to watch it. Well, if you guessed that, you’d be right. I am watching it because Natty watches it and its a way to spend some fun time with her. At the same time, I know that if she stopped watching it, I still would! Its a great show! Lots of excitement, fun, etc. I love it!

Huh? Who is my favourite character on the show? Well, lets analyze this… be warned, though. I am going to look mainly at the women today and I am going to analyze it from the point of view of a man, seen?

Teri Hatcher – Susan Mayer

Hmmm… First, lets look at Susan Mayer. OMG! She is so geeky, accident-prone, and is prone to outright silly behaviour from time to time. That can cause me to grate my teeth at times, but her character is perhaps the nicest one in the show when all things are considered. She is warm, friendly, genuine… fun. She is also beautiful! She is WAY too skinny though. Kind of needy too, sometimes… seems to be a hopeless romantic sometimes.
She also seems to be the weakest of the women, though there is a hard core of steel within her, and once you get down to that level, she can be surprisingly strong. Overall, I like Susan, though I think she is a bit too air-headed and she would probably be quite cloying after awhile.

Lets take a look at Bree Van de Kamp.

Marcia Cross – Bree Van De Kamp

Lets take a look at Bree Van de Kamp. She is beautiful, I think… I like how she looks, anyway. Over all, I like her character as well. She is smart… she can handle herself… she is not afraid to mix it up with anyone, and will give you as good as she gets, and usually, she will give you better than she gets! She never gives in… I like these characteristics. She can be a bit manipulative and controlling though… She is too much into keeping up appearances as well. And yow, she is WAY too obsessive and cleanly! She and I could NEVER live together, for instance! I am pretty messy! AND, I am impossible to change! When it comes to my flaws, I am unyielding! Like a diamond! Thats me! I just know I would cause her to flip out one night and she would shoot me to death.

Eva Longoria – Gabby Solis

Next up, Gabrielle Solis. Ok… Undeniably, she is beautiful. If I was single, I could definitely see myself ‘tapping that ass’, as they say. She would not be a keeper for me though. Why not? Well, she is a bit too slim for me. She could do with a few dinner dates to KFC, star. She needs to get more breasts and bumper, at least in my book. That is how I see Gabby with regards to looks. She has many other issues though. So fuckin’ materialistic! And she doesn’t even try to hide it! So self centred!

And then she is sort’ve… easy, shall we say?! Her name should be Slutteisha, to rass! Also, where does she get off, divorcing her husband because she caught him sleeping with someone, when she was doing the gardener for so long! When Carlos (her husband) found out about the gardener, he didn’t leave her! She is so unfair! And so prone to unfaithfulness! And so materialistic! And so thin! And so self centred! No, if I were single, I would tap that and then I would move on. Hit and run, nah mean! Nothing long lasting with Gabby for me, sah

Felicity Huffman – Linette Scavo

Next up, Linette Scavo. Like Bree, she is smart… she can handle herself… she never gives in. In fact, I would say that Linette has these qualities even more than Bree! She is like a pit bull, star! Once she bites in to something, she won’t let it go! As I said before, I like these characteristics. The thing is, I don’t necessarily like when people who have these characteristics apply them to me! No, bludz, I don’t like people trying to force me into anything, and Linette is way too alpha female for me! When I watch her interactions with her husband, Tom, I am often amazed, dismayed and disgusted by Tom’s total wuss-ishness! He is so pussy whipped that I want to kick him sometimes! And Linette revels in this power she wields! Overall, I like her, but she is absolutely focused on what she or members of her family want, and to hell with everyone else! I don’t like that about her.
At the same time, if you do present your viewpoint to her and manage to persuade her to come around, she will come around 180 degrees and fight for you just as hard as she was fighting for her previous goal! Its all or nothing with Linette!

Can you imagine if I was in a relationship with her! I am not like her husband, so somebody would be dead! No panty government round ‘ere! Not a blood claat! Awoah!

Now I don’t mean to suggest that I have to have my way in everything and that I am 100% gung-ho that its my way or the highway! I will negotiate things with my woman, and sometimes I will win and sometimes she will, but never in the manner of Linette and Tom. She just rules Tom with an iron hand, rasta!

Linette and I would fight too much, and she would have to bend sometimes or the relationship woulddah done! Just like that! No Panty Government round ‘ere, mi say!

Also, Linette doesn’t really do it for me looks-wise. I am not saying she ugly, because she is not. She is pretty, but… not really my speed.

Nicollette Sheridan – Edie Britt

And then there is Edie Britt! Before I get into her character, let me applaud the actress who plays Edie, namely Nicollette Sheridan. She is older than me by a couple of years and she still looks fantastic! She has a great body! When I was looking for pictures of her to post for this blogpost, it is quite evident that she still has her bikini figure… and then some! Congrats, Nicollette! (I am not dissing the other ladies, BTW, because they are all older than me, excepting Eva Longoria who is over 10 years younger than the others, and they all look fantastic!) Now, on to Edie Britt! I find Edie Britt to be quite attractive… to look at! As a matter of fact, she is even more sexy than Gabby, IMHO. (That is probably attributable to her having more meat where it counts. Edie doesn’t need me to take her to KFC. Edie is hot, no question about it! Unfortunately, she is too sneaking, conniving, vindictive, bitchy and manipulative for me to think of her as a keeper. No, like Gabby, the most I would do is to tap Edie’s ass and then move on. You know what? Edie brings to my mind a Kid Rock song, “So Hot“. Check the lyrics out:

You got a body like a devil
and you smell like sex,
Well, I can tell you’re trouble
but I’m still obsessed,
Because you know you’re so Hott!
I want to get you alone,
You’re so Hott!
I want to get you stoned,
You’re so Hott!
I don’t want to be your friend,
I want to fuck you
like I’m never gonna see you again…

Yeah… that about sums up Edie!

Ok, time for me to tell you who is my favourite. I am going to cop out a bit, in that I can’t decide 100%. Overall, just watching the show, I think I like Bree’s character or Linette’s character the most…. though I feel I should reiterate that neither of them is someone I could be with.

Of all of them, I think I could kick it with Susan Mayer for a bit, but the sweetness and the stupidity would make me want to run away after a bit. Of course, I’d have to fatten her up some… Hey guys… picture this! Susan Mayer, with Jayden Jaymes’ body! OH EM GEE!!! Then she would be perfect, looks-wize!
I’m gaining altitude just thinking about it! Nah, just kidding.

Of course, I know that you all may not agree with me. Who is your favourite Desperate Housewives character?

Anyway, they picked my blogger bredrin from Guyana, Kai and asked, “If you woke up next to Kai what would you do?”.

I answered thusly, “I would probably scream! Man nuh fi lie wid man! At least, not me! LOL!”.

Kai responded later, “hahahaha. u betta mek like usain and bolt.”.

I replied, ” Yu seet!”.

It was good for a laugh still. Many of the questions were funny like that, though one or two were kind of stupid, like “Would (* insert friends name here *) eat a bug if you gave them $10?”. Anyway, I like that about Facebook still. Some of the games will give you a chuckle, you know?

Hey, that question it asked about Kai made me think of a little joke I heard. Two men are talking. Lets call them Man1 and Man2. Man1 says to Man2, “Tell me something. If you were to come awake suddenly one night and you found yourself outdoors, in the middle of a clearing in the forest with nobody around but you, and you had a gag in your mouth, grass stains on your hands and knees, your pants were off and there was a condom hanging out of your ass, would you tell anybody about it afterwards?”.

Man2 scratches his head and ponders the question seriously for a few seconds, then he replies, “You know, I don’t think I would. That would be really embarrassing, yo!”.

Man1 then asks, “Do you want to go camping with me?”.

So how is your Ash Wednesday going? What are you giving up for Lent? I am giving up porn. No, not watching porn, acting in it. I’ll still watch it. What do you think I am, crazy?! Huh? Well, no, I haven’t really acted in any porn films so far, but at least if someone were to ask me over the course of Lent to take part in a porn film, I would say no. Surely that counts for something! Anyway, I am going to cut out now, got to go to the gym before it closes. Enjoy the rest of your day, seen?

The gym doesn’t open until 10:00AM today. What should I do until then? Hmmm….. I guess I could go surf Facebook… or I could watch a show… No, wait. Nothing here I want to see right now… Hmmm… I could do some sudoku puzzles… or maybe alternate between Facebook and the sudoku.

I know! I could listen to some music…. Yeah! Youtube it is, because I wanna rock right now! I wanna, I wanna rock right now! Wanna rock your body…

The Black Eyed Peas: Imma Be

Things are getting rough over here in the Cayman Islands. The cops and the community at large need to work together to nip this thing in the bud before it gets out of control, man! Every minute nowadays there is a robbery or a wounding or a shooting or some such thing!

A lot of Caymanians seemed in the past to like to hide their heads in the sand. They were always saying that the crime was being caused by Jamaicans, or by someone else from somewhere else. Well, statistics are proving them wrong! Most of the prisoners in Northward Prison for violent crime are Caymanian!

Now I am not saying that Jamaicans and other foreigners do not play a part, that would be foolish, especially with that big, big trial going on re Estella Scott’s murder, where two Jamaican nationals are on trial, but by and large, a lot of the crime is home grown! And unu know the criminals dem!

To the Caymanians out there who may drop by my blog, this is not pretty! Chat pon the bad man dem that you know! Help the RCIPS do their job! Come on, man! Fight back against these criminal bastards, damn it! Do it before the blood that is spilled belongs to you or to someone in your family!

Yesterday, I tried a different tactic. In examining the bike to see what the problem was, I noticed that there was no nut on the end of the bolt. I went out and bought some nuts to try and tighten the kickstand on. I bought a 3/8 inch, a 1/2 inch and a 5/8 inch nut. None of them worked. The closest nut was the 3/8 inch one, but it felt very tight and it wouldn’t go on past a certain point. “Perhaps the bolt is metric.”, I thought, cursing my luck, then I went riding on the bike anyway. I had to be resorting to dallying suddenly to the right every so often to try and swing the kickstand back into position, or to taking my foot off the pedal and pushing it back into position myself! Most annoying!

This evening, I tried a different tactic. I cut a shoelace off one of my old sneakers and tied the kickstand into a favourable position. That worked very well! I was quite happy with the result! Even better than that, though, one of my prisoner friends found out about the problem. He happened to have the right Allen key, and he tightened the bolt up for me the right way! The bolt doesn’t even need a nut. You simply have the bolt and a lock washer! Once tightened, the bolt shouldn’t pull out for awhile.

If it does pull out too soon, I am going to try those metric nuts though.

Huh? My prisoner friend? Oh, yeah… haven’t I mentioned them to you yet? Well, I walk my dog up by the prison almost every day. When I started going up there, I’d always see a few men lounging about.

Since these men were outside the prison walls, I took them to be people working up by the prison! Well, they do perform tasks up there, but they are actually prisoners… actually, they are trustees. They are the prisoners who have been in the prison for a long time, and they have been on good behaviour for years, and so now, they live in a little house outside the prison. I guess if they frack up, back inside the prison they would go. This keeps them toeing the line.

Yeah, they have been in the prison for the longest time of all the inmates. They have been there for 23 years, or rather, maybe for 24 years now. After all, I have been walking the dog up there for over a year now! Why are they in there so long? Well, they are all on life sentences. They were locked up for murder, you see.

Anyway, more on the prisoners another time. Their stories are too long for one post, I reckon.

Hey, the prisoner that fixed my bike today told me that they made five drug busts up by the prison today! Today is a day when the prisoners can have visitors, you see. Five of the visitors were caught trying to smuggle weed into the prison in the items they brought for the prisoners they were visiting. They were all promptly arrested! One of them was an old woman (in her 70’s), visiting her son! Sad, huh?

Hear the prisoner to me when he told me about it: “What a thing, eh? They are trying to get IN and I am trying to get out! Things are going on for them! Nothing is going on for me though. It is so easy to get in, but it is so fracking hard to get out.”.

Oh well…

At least I have that Twitter feed over there on the right hand side of my blog… It allows me to give you a mini update whenever I want to about whatever I want to. At least that way, you can keep up (somewhat) with what is going on with me, so if you drop in and don’t see a post, chill for a bit and scroll through my Twitter updates. Its not much, but maybe it will keep you going until something with more meat upon its bones comes along, nuh true? Hopefully you will find them interesting.

I was reading something the other day on one of those “serious” blogs… You know the ones I mean, those blogs where the authors are filled with journalistic zeal, where they focus on one topic, or on covering the news, or something like that. Those blogs where the authors sometimes seem to think that they CAN change the world, or something. Now I am not knocking them, maybe they can… Anyway, I saw something on one of those blogs where the guy split blogs into two groups, those where the blogger wrote about every mundane aspect of their lives and posted jokes and / or pictures of beautiful women, etc., etc., and then there are [ I sum up what the guy had to say here ] the more serious blogs.

Yow, the way the guy said it, it seemed to me like he was looking down his nose at blogs in the first category… and guess what? That is exactly the type of blog I write. So, what do I think of what he said? He sort of pissed me off, yo! Yes, Rasta, I-man did brindle at what the man said. I did get cross… angry… mizerable! Hey, if I knew where to find him, he would have needed a bullet-proof vest AND bullet-proof skin! ;^)

Ok, he is partially right, still. You CAN split blogs into those two groups… but I think there is a place for those less “serious” blogs too, and it is an important place as well.

Hey, with all the CNN’s and the BBC’s and the Al Jazeera’s, plus with all the “serious” bloggers out there, we NEED blogs where you can just go and find something to laugh at, or ogle hot chicks or listen to music, or as my boss would say, to just fuck off on, if thats what we want to do. Thats what I think anyway… and well, I know one or two of you do like my blog (like Seven, my sister) and so this blog is for her, and the one or two others of you who want somewhere to go to just chill out at. The rest of you who don’t appreciate this type of blog need not detain yourselves. Get to steppin’! Go read some news or something.

And now, just to thumb my nose at people who are like that guy I have been talking about, those people who appear to be on their high horse looking down on the rest of us , here are a couple of hot chix for the rest of us to ogle!

YYYYYeeeeesssss!…

So anyway, what was keeping me from updating my blog for so long? Apart from that guy disturbing my peace, me did rass busy! Yes, my friends, I have been busting my ass at work, and it has been a bit draining. You see, the company I work for is in the process of outsourcing the I/T department. Over the last couple of weeks, we migrated about 90% of our applications offshore. The migration was not…. without incident, shall we say, and then on top of it, my department was short staffed all of that week, as two people were out on vacation. People, trust me, I was dying for this weekend! Dying!

Now its here, I am going to enjoy it. I took off today from work, and it has been nice and relaxing so far… lets see how the rest of the weekend turns out. Have a great weekend people! Enjoy the Superbowl as well… I plan to watch it this year, if my cable is working…. if its not, maybe I’ll go somewhere and watch it. If so, I will be sure to tell you every mundane detail of my outing.

Peace and love, my crew…

TTYL