Perfect scene for a postcard picture!

To give you another reason to come back this way again, I will leave you with a bit of humour. They do say laughter is the best medicine, right?:
 

On the PA system: “Cleanup on aisle 25, we have a husband down.”

A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart. The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart. ‘What do you think you’re doing?’ asks the wife. ‘They’re on sale, only $10 for 24 cans he replies. ‘Put them back, we can’t afford them demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping. A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket. What do you think you’re doing?’ asks the husband. ‘It’s my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,’ replies the wife. Her husband retorts: ‘So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it’s half the price!’

You know, the husband DOES have a point! Even if you are good looking already, alcohol can STILL improve your looks! Take it from one who has put in some time in strip clubs. And , yeah, it is half the price! I’m just saying…

Ok, I got this one from my bredrin Bobby. Check it out:
 

A guy goes over to the bar and buys two drinks. He gives one to a hooker, and he drinks the other. He asks the hooker, “How much for a hand job?”. The hooker says, “Honey, a hand job is $500.”. “What, $500! That’s outrageous!”, the man replies.

The hooker says, “See that strip mall over there? I own the last two stores on the end. I was able to buy those stores with the money I saved from giving hand jobs. I must be pretty damn good at it, right?”. So the man gives in.

A half hour after, he gets up, goes to the bar and buys two more drinks. He gives one drink to the hooker and drinks one himself. “That was the best hand job I have ever had!”, he says. “How much for a blow job?”.

“Honey, a blow job is $5,000.”, replies the hooker. “What, $5,000! That’s outrageous! Are you crazy?”, the man exclaims.

The hooker replies, “See that hotel and casino over there on the corner? I own that! I was able to buy it with the money I saved from giving blow jobs. I must be pretty damn good, am I right?”. Once again, the man gives in.

An hour after she’s done, the guy is laying on the couch, head rolled back, eyes rolled up inside his head, with a little drool coming out of the corner of his mouth. He gets up, barely able to stand, staggers over to the bar once more. He buys two more drinks, gives one to the hooker, and drinks one himself.

“My God, that was the best blow job I have ever had! I’ve gotta know, how much for some pussy?”, he says.

The hooker looks at him and says, ” Honey, if I had a pussy, I’d own this whole town!”

Finally, I heard a little riddle that will probably elicit a grin. Here goes…

What is the difference between a policeman with a speed gun & going down on a woman?

When you go down on a woman you can see the cunt behind the bush!

Anyway, thats it for now. I will chat with you later. Have a great weekend!

Yesterday evening, a bredrin took Jay G., MBJr. and I along with his girlfriend and his son for a little boat ride. It was fun for the most part, but in retrospect, maybe I would have been better off not going, rasta. See, the boat was rather full, so I was forced to sit in the bow. Since there was a bit of chop, the bows were bouncing up and down a lot! I got thrown aloft and then smashed back into the seat with astonishing regularity and now my butt is pretty sore.

Also, I fell down on my recently-operated-on knee, can you imagine! Yes, we went into the water for a swim. While climbing back into the boat, what with the deck being pretty wet, I slipped and fell! My left leg went straight forward hitting the base of the seat beside the driver. My right leg folded underneath me like when you are doing a squat, only it went all the way down, bending my knee to the fullest extent, and very rapidly at that! The pain from that was intense!
It was so bad that I didn’t even realise that when my left foot hit the seat, I banged my toe up pretty badly. My toe is hurting me this morning from that hit! I hope its just sprained. Still I am/was more worried about my knee! Thank God all that seems to have happened is that it hurt like a mofo for a minute or two, and nothing else seems to have happened to it!

Anyway, on to more interesting things… Lets check out whats happening in the news, shall we?

Ahh, a topic near and dear to my heart!

The contestants in the Miss Cayman Islands 2010

They have posted a group photo of the Miss Cayman Islands contestants at CaymanNewsService.com. I provide you with the link so you can get names and other info if you like, but I post the picture here for those of you who just want to ogle them. You can click on the picture to see a larger, more detailed version. My comments on the contestants? Well, the one third from left used to work with me… She looking good still, though she is a bit too thin… The ones I like to win are the one to the extreme left, and the one third from right. The one third from right is my favourite! Sexy!!!

In other news, I read that they indicted David Smith in the U.S.! So they are after the bastard, are they? Ah good! (That’s good!) I hope he gets a hundred years behind bars! Thieving little fasseyhole! Thank God for my natural cautiousness which kept me from putting what little money I have/had into schemes like OLINT and CASHPLUS and such. This cautiousness may have prevented me from investing the money in other legitimate business ventures, but at least it also kept me from squandering the money and having nothing to show for it now. Praises be to the Almighty, you done know!

So I see that we have had yet another robbery here in the Cayman Islands. Wow, we have been having robbery after robbery after robbery! I really don’t know what the hell is going on with this! Damn! At least none of the robbery victims or their employees have been killed as a result of any of these robberies, though one of the robbers was shot dead during a home invasion. This instance of the spree of armed robberies was at a gas station. The TV news reported that the robber had a Jamaican accent. *sigh*

Ha ha ha! Here is an interesting news item! The police are getting six new police dogs! Good so far… guess what? They are Belgian Malinois dogs! But…. aren’t those dogs banned?!

Why are they getting dogs for the police that are banned?! See, yet another instance of governmental stupidity! Not in getting these dogs, mind you, but in banning them in the first place! These dogs are rated as being amongst the best dogs for police work! By all means, equip the police with them! And yes, they can be dangerous dogs, but its all about how they are trained! Instead of banning them, how about charging owners of these dogs who train them to be vicious then are careless in keeping the dogs away from people!

I could go on with other news items, but I think I should go make something to eat, so later, seen? Peace out…

I heard that over the last year, the drug cartels have killed 20,000 people! Twenty thousand! I was dumbfounded, yo! I mean, I knew that there was some war going on between Government forces and the drug cartels, but twenty thousand people? Come on?!

I had no idea that things there were as bad as that! Obviously I am out of touch!

Apparently the Mexican president is calling for a discussion on whether they should decriminalise drugs altogether as a step towards putting an end to this wanton, senseless slaughter.

One of the guys on the radio was pointing out that drugs have been freed up in the Netherlands for some time now, with resulting lower crime rates. He mentioned a woman here in Cayman who was on TV the other day talking about how she used to be an addict (I believe it was on heroin or crack cocaine) and how she overcame it.

One of the things that he said the woman discussed was how she used to be involved in commercial sex to support her habit. He contrasted this with information he had on a heroin addict in the Netherlands who was able to register as an addict and get help with managing his addiction. He was able to get a clean fix when he needed one at a price he could afford and was able to lead an otherwise normal life!

Because the price of the drugs were deflated since they had been decriminalised, the man from the Netherlands was able to access them without having to resort to similar desperate measures as the woman in Cayman was forced to do, he posited.

It was a very interesting discussion. Personally, I think that they should decriminalise these drugs. Take away the mega-profits and a lot of the violence and criminality will go away.

Sure, some individuals will become addicts and may cause themselves harm from drug abuse, but I think that a lot of those people would end up doing so whether the drugs are decriminalised or not! At least this way, there would be less crime, and the addicts would be free to seek help with their addiction.

I think the cost to society worldwide will be much higher if countries continue to fight against drugs the way that they do now. What do you think?

Yendi Phillipps – Miss Jamaica World 2010

Now here’s an idea… Ladies when you are going to a Beach party, why not do what Yendi did in this photo? Get a nice, colorful bikini and accessorize it with some skillfull bodypainting that matches the swimsuit. I think she looks beautiful, and so would you, all tricked out like that!

Of course, I haven’t been to a beach party myself in ages! Who knows, maybe this is how all the hot girls are doing it nowadays, and everywhere you turn all you see is bodypaint! If so, just shake your head, smile and say”Poor Mad Bull! You are always late to the party!”.

Report on Friday nite, out on the town
So last nite was fun! It was a bit different of a night… You see, recently we have been going out in larger groups to bars. That experience involves standing or sitting in a group, drinking, shouting to one another over the music and watching people. In that scenario, sometimes Natty and I get separated and I go hang with a group of my boys and she hangs with her girls or whatever…

Last night we went out with another couple. We went to Rooftop, a nice little open air bar located, you guessed it, on the rooftop of a building! There is a nice trendy lounge on the floor below that we could have gone to as well, but that was way too crowded.
So anyway, we sat together around a small round table and orderd drinks which were brought to us from the bar. We talked about stuff and we people watched…
So how was this different from the other scenario above? Well, we sat together the whole night! We were interfacing with one other couple, so we could chat more to them. Its a little more intimate than when you are standing around in a group and shouting at one another… I mean, you can have actual conversations, know what I mean? Yeah…

At one point, a couple of Natty’s friends came and tried to snatch her to go off with them on a “girls nite”, where they hang together all nite, and go bar hopping. I would be down with that if they wanted me to tag along, but no! Its a ladies nite! Well, frack ‘em! She told them no.

After Rooftop, a couple of us were feeling peckish, so we went to this newish restaurant named Michaels in Caymana Bay. Nice place. They have the kitchen right there in front of you and you can watch the food being prepared / interact with the food preparers. Interesting! They make all kinds of food, even some weirder stuff that I have never had, likes fried pig’s ears, and pork belly, and octopus. I know these things sound yucky, but when you see them, you feel like you would at least try them! I can now vouch for the pig’s ears! I’ma try me some octopus soon too.

They also have this thing where they offer a set of specialty beers, beers you won’t find anywhere else on the island. To live up to this claim, they get beers from much smaller breweries worldwide. As a for instance, I had a “pale French ale”, can’t remember the name right now, but its just a bit stronger than Red Stripe. My friend had a dark ale out of somewhere in the U.S., I think. His was called “Dead Man’s Ale”, or somethng like that. I think his was closer to a Guiness. Me never likee! I liked the French ale though.

After the restaurant, we went walking down by the canal thats beside Caymana Bay, just to sight see and gawk at the apartments and the man made island and all the pretty lights and the fountains and shit. I had never been to that side of Caymana Bay, actually! I mean, I go there all the time, but I only go to the book store with Dylan, or to the movies or to the Haagen Dazs store there, and they are all in the same area. It is a pretty big place, and apparently there is way more to be built, so…

After that, we went home and fell into the welcome oblivion of sleep, ’cause we were all tired nuh rass! It was a good night!

Today, MBJr. comes home from Tampa! WHEEEEE!!!!!! Huh? Yeah, he stayed in Tampa when we came back the other day… he hung out with his cousin, and his uncle and his grand parents. Apparently he had a good time, because he told Natty and I that he wasn’t coming back to Cayman, and that we were to come up there and visit him!

As a matter of fact, its because he wasn’t here why Natty and I have been going out so much! But school is just around the corner and so he HAS to return..Free paper bun! (No more freedome, for all the non Yardies). Yes, free paper bun! For all of us, I guess! I not sad though. I am glad he is coming back because I miss the hell out of him!

Anyways, TTYL.

No, I’m just kidding! Of course I ‘m not cancelling the strippers!

Other than that, I’m gonna party responsibly tho. How about you? Are you going to tread carefully today? Aren’t you even a little bit superstitious?

Anyway, you have a great Friday, the fact that its the 13th notwithstanding, and have a great weekend as well! Blessed love!

Guess what? I am writing this blogpost using my new (to me, anyway) Blackberry! Yeah, I got a Blackberry Bold II to replace my Curve because the Curve doesn’t have the ability to connect to wireless networks.

The new phone seems never to have been connected to an Enterprise Server and thus has not been tainted by a security protocol. This is a very cool thing because WordPress for Blackberry works now, and so, a blog post!

I think this is SO cool! It may even lead to more frequent blogging on my part!

Anyway, I gone for now! TTYL, pplz!

The groom was arrested afterwards, of course. What a way to start off your married life! Talk about stupid customary practices!

But the Turks are not the only ones who have customs which are stupid. No sir! I bet I can come up with a few more!

The one that comes to mind first is the annual “Running of the Bulls” in Spain! This custom involves people running in the street in front of about a dozen bulls being chased on their way to the bull fighting arenas. The practice derived from the fact that the bulls used in bull fighting used to be kept at a site away from the arena. When they were going to fight them in the arena, the streets along the way were blocked off and the bulls were turned loose in the street and driven from behind to run along the streets down to the arena. Youngsters would jump into the streets the bulls were stampeding through to show off their bravado. the bulls were It is not unusual for people to be gored by bulls during that one, from what I understand!

Then there was the practice called foot binding in China. For some reason, women with tiny feet were thought of as desirable, and so they Chinese set out to have many of their women have the smallest feet possible. Their toes and the arch of their feet were broken and then the foot was bound up in bandages. This resulted in lifelong deformities, could lead to serious infections, possibly gangrene, and was generally painful for life. Thankfully, this custom is no longer practised, though it was commonplace for at least a thousand years in China!

Then there is the practice of hazing people who are entering an institution, club, society, or the military. Hazing is a term used to describe the ritual and other activities involving harassment, abuse or humiliation used as a way of initiating a person into a group. Some of the time, hazing is relatively harmless, but every now and then, the hazers get over zealous and people get seriously hurt! Hazing is common in Europe and the Americas.

Phew! There! I came up with three stupid, dangerous customs. How about you? Can you come up with any? Hit me up in the comments section nuh?

But what exactly was the problem? Well, I’m not that technical in cellular technology so I can not tell you why, but here is what happened as far as I can tell. The Blackberry devices do most of the internet stuff using a wireless network technology called EDGE, you see. Basically, when you start up your phones, they seem to boot up through three phases. GSM, then “edge” then “EDGE”. That is what you see happening on the screen, anyway. So it seems that the phone loads the GSM protocol. Then the ‘edge’ protocol loads. That is probably just a basic framework for doing what needs to be done. The actual work to be done cannot occur until the EDGE protocol loads.

The problem we were experiencing today was that we couldn’t get the big ‘EDGE’! Most of us were stuck at the little ‘edge’ (Not all of us, and not all the time, as some of us did get the big EDGE back, though only intermittentently. This prompted much time wasting on the job, because people were constantly stopping to check if they had got ‘EDGE’ as yet. When they hadn’t, they would reboot their phones, or shut it off and do a battery pull, or they would get into options and turn off the mobile connectivity option then turn it on… Sometimes they would do all of these things!

Even though you see me roll my eyes, I was one of these people. At least, in the earlier part of the day I was! No! Dont laugh at me! Dont! Oh ok, go ahead…

One of the funnier occurrences that I saw today arose out of this outage situation. A friend of mine stuck his cell over my cubicle wall and stuffed it into my face, saying “LOOK AT THIS!” loudly and excitedly! I looked. He had a picture on his phone, a background. It was a photo of two beautiful women, nicely posed and everything. Being Mad Bull, you know this elicited a comment. I said something about how hot or beautiful they looked, at which point my friend exclaimed, “I’m not talking abouut them! I have got the big ‘EDGE’, don’t you see! Focus on what’s important man!

The funny thing is, it seems that I got back big ‘EDGE’ when I got home from work, and it seems to have stayed on. I wonder if they have bought some device at work that interferes with us getting the ‘EDGE’ at work? Hmmm… Conspiracy theory, anyone?

I hope not! I hope Digicel has resolved the issue, whatever it was and I can check Twitter from my phone again tomorrow, and use BBM to chat with my friends throughout the day, because it can be a lot of fun. Anyway, TTYL.

Good luck in the Miss Universe Pageant, Yendi! We love you!