The Mad Bull’s Blog, Version 3

Ok, this one was too funny not to repost! I got the heads up about this article from Nadyadee of “Everyone Hearts Nadya“. (Not from her blog though, from Facebook.) Thanks, honey chile!

People, imagine if you will a young girl who starts seeing an older man… much older. She is introduced to the man’s son and she liked what she saw, and like Caesar, she came, she saw and she conquered. She was then introduced to the grandson, and of course, old habits are hard to quit. Now she “deh wid” (is seeing) the grandson as well.

The trouble with this happy scene (Oh yeah, there is bound to be trouble with this kind of “Family Affair”) is that the grandfather knows nothing about the girl’s involvement with his son or his grandson, the son knows about the father but wants the young miss for himself and says he is going to tell his father about them if she doesn’t, and the grandson doesn’t know about her involvement with any of the others and he wants to get engaged to her!

So, what is a girl to do? Well, this one says she not leaving any of them out, and that they will just have to make the decision for themselves! Sounds like a story from “Jerry Springer“, don’t? Well, no it ain’t! This girl wrote in to Dear Pastor about this!!! Can you believe it? Crazy business!

What I can’t understand is why people write to a pastor when they are up to these types of shenanigans! What do they expect him to tell them? Something like, “Ok, so you are doing the horizontal mambo with GrandDad, Dad and son, but its all good. As long as you are enjoying yourself, my child. My advice to you is to fling one leg to the east, fling the other leg to the west and just tek buddy! Woof woof woof woof! Yeah-ie yeah-ie!”. Well, most pastors won’t be saying something like this anytime soon, so…

By the way, I am giving away a prize to any of you who can guess which blogger on my Caribbean blog roll is related to “Dear Pastor”. Of course, the blogger who is related to the Dear Pastor is not eligible to win the prize, nor is his other blogger bredrin who grew up with him, and who is also on my blogroll.

What is the prize? Er… ahhh… I know! I will write a guest post on your blog! How’s that?

Tags: General // 4 Comments »

You know what can be mildly interesting? Checking out the shape that the eggs take when you break the shell and drop them into the oil when you are frying them up for breakfast. Yup, breakfast this morning contained fried egg. Also, fried up ham slices and sliced tomato, all stuffed between two slices of harddough bread. Yum!
Anyway, the shape that my egg took this morning reminded me a lot of a stingray. I wonder if that could be a sign that a trip to Stingray City is in my future? Hmmm…

Tags: General // 2 Comments »

I wrote this stuff below while I was charged (quite tipsy, not yet drunk) the other night. Natty told me not to post it, how I sounded wicked and Caylee was just a kid, and so on and so on. I am not an uncaring and unfeeling monster! Still, this is torture! I am going to post it!

AAAAAARRRRGGGGGGHHH!!!!! I just looked at the TV again. Natty has on the TV and it deh pon CNN and that blasted Nancy Grace is on and the SAME RASS CLAAT QUESTION is being asked! Again!!!! Where is Caylee? Blood claat! That question again! Is like dem tape the question and dem ah play it over and over on a big sound system, with the reverb and echo on, just repeating the question over and over, until it get imprinted inna mi mind, until when I am trying to sleep, I cyan do it, and me just ah toss and ah turn, all the time trying to figure out… and when mi twisting and turning finally wake up Natty, and she say, ” Ah wha do you?”, all I can do is turn to her, look her inna she eye dem and ask, “Where is blood claat Caylee?”.

Dem cyah see that Caylee is dead! We cyah do nutten for her again. Casey Anthony killed her, or at least we must assume that until she tells us which part she deh! Lock up her rass! Nancy Grace, why you nuh move on, the pickney muss dead by now. All the time you coming pon de TV, asking the same questions over and over, just raking over the same shit! They don’t have no news pon dis ting, and yet they keep bringing it on to torture we! Nancy Grace, ah nuh we kill Caylee! As Casey do it!

Cops, stop the blasted fuckery and lock up her murdering rass! If they don’t, maybe Nancy Grace can arrange with some of her friends and her fans to rush the police and grab Casey to face mob justice next time they move her between the prison and where ever they have her hanging out when they let her out. Then they can hold her and drop some lick pon her till she confesses! Cho. I am so sick of hearing the same news and the same questions about Caylee, her Mom and Nancy rass claat Grace! AAAAAARRRRGGGGGGHHH!!!!!

In the cold light of day and a somewhat more elevated state of sobriety, I read back what I had posted. I edited the above a little bit, but the essential idea is still there. I am not overly fond of Nancy Grace. I dislike her tendency to put people on a public trial, and to repeat over and over the same old shit. I won’t wish physical evil upon Nancy Grace, but I do wish she would be removed from my TV screen forever.

As for the police, etc. Dem ah some eediat! Last night Natty had it on again, and as I was walking past the bedroom door, she proclaimed to me, “They have found physical evidence of human decomposition in Casey’s car trunk”. Poor Natty. She late! Dem find that evidence weeks ago! Maybe month’s ago. I heard it on Nancy Grace while I was on the treadmill at the gym, where they have the large flatscreen TVs tuned on CNN most of the time, instead of something more appropriate like Fox Sports World, MTV, VH1, BET or Hype TV! Long, long time dem have this evidence, and yet they have been trotting Casey Anthony between prison and the outside world like say dem cyah decide what to do wid her!

Actually, now that I think about it, what they should do is keep Nancy Grace asking her questions over and over again on her show, but take it off public TV! Then they should lock Casey in a 8 foot by 8 foot cell with no windows, and with flashing strobe lights. Have her tied up in a straight jacket and seated on a hardback wooden chair against one wall. On the opposite wall, have 50 inch flat screen TV, upon which they play all of Nancy Grace’s shows, looping over and over on repeat, until Casey cracks and practically begs to tell us the answer to the question: WHERE IS CAYLEE???!!!!

Tags: General // 2 Comments »

An Interview with a Gay Jamaican Cop
 
What do you all think of this? I expect the worst!
Ok, I’m going out on a limb again… who cares whether this breddah likes men or women? Is he a good police officer? Is he running down little boys? If he is a good officer, and if he leaves men under eighteen alone, why do we care?

Tags: General // 4 Comments »

It has been a long time since I have written a post which has the sole purpose of linking to another blogger’s post, simply because I thought it was hot!

Well, okay, I am not too sure how long ago it has been, I have not paid close attention to stuff like that (more like anything blogging related… I’m in a slump, what can I tell you?) for awhile, but let us just say that I can’t remember when last I did this.

Anyway, in this case, I am not just linking to a single post, I am linking to the entire blog, because I read the five latest posts or so and they were all good and I am assuming that it is a trend and that the whole thing is pretty good. People! Go read Ruthibelle! I have just done a bit of reading on her site and I am impressed. I think you might be too.

Hell, she even came up with a meme that has me at a (temporary, I hope!) loss for words! I guess it requires me to give it some thought. I will have to come back to it.

Go check her site out. That is all.

Tags: General // 2 Comments »

Natty’s second cousin is visiting the island from New York. We just took him to Canton Restaurant for lunch (Orange Beef (spicy), Honey Garlic chicken, Moo Goo Gai Pan, and Pork with Black Beans… mmmmmmm… sweet! ) and then we took him for a drive around the island.

You know what was sweet? Well, yeah, the food was sweet, but thats not what I am talking about now. Since I had just eaten, by the time we were approaching Moon Bay (between Bodden Town and Breakers on the linked map, my peeps), a piece of niggeritis took hold of me, you see!

Usually when I feel like I want to fall asleep while driving, I am alone in the car and so I have to struggle with it all by myself! Since that usually occurs in the wee hours on the way home from George Town, I just have to bear it and make my way home, praying I will stay awake. Torture, I tell you…

Anyway, seeing as Shawna was in the car with me this time, I just told her about it, she took the wheel and I was able to get into the back and hold 40 winks until we got to Rum Point (and she drove through East End, not the shorter route through Frank Sound). It was only for twenty or twenty five minutes, I guess, but I woke up feeling great. It was most irie!

Here are a couple of interesting things that happened to me recently:

I was chatting with an intelligent black woman in the supermarket today and she told me that she had stopped her daughter from playing soccer. She said that she was really good at it and she loved it, but she was dark enough already. She said that she hardly recognised her after she had finished playing in the hot sun because she became so dark. I don’t know about you, but I found that interesting.

You know, I’ma have to tell her she can still let her play indoor soccer… it would be continuing the mental slavery, but at least her daughter could still play and have fun. Hmmm…

Also interesting, but less so… a bredrin sent me a Hi5 friend request! Yup! Hi5! In this time of the ascendancy of Facebook, can you believe it? Wow!

Me bredrin, in case you read this, check out Facebook nuh? And if you’re on it, as I suspect you might be, add me there too nuh?

Tags: General // 8 Comments »

Di damn dog have me ah fret, you know. Him naw eat nutt’n of late, Rasta. Granted, one bitch from dung de road look like say she ’bout fi go inna heat or sup’m and it look like the pum pum frighten him! Is like him in love to rahtid. Anyway, me finally get him fi eat a half plate ah him food late lass nite, so me nuh feelso worried as me did ah feel earlier.

Me go gym lass nite too. Is de second time me go fi de week… pon Thursday, you believe it? Chupse… me a go from bad to wuss, to rahtid! Ah Yamfoot urge me fi mek sure and gwaan too, yu know, so give tanks, yah, Yammie!

So, wah oonoo tink bout the Vice Presidential debate inna de US? Me nuh tink say Palin did do so bad. Me haffi go online and go check out the Katie Couric interview, because me tink say me did hear say she did do bad pon dat one.

So today ah Friday and we haffi give tanks fi dat. Me suppose fi call Revolution Island today fi see if we can go lick di bars aftah work too, you know… Ah long time me nuh link di man so dat shuddah irie still.

Me did link up wid Trouble earlier inna de week too, we go shoot some pool and ting. I man was ah shoot sortah decent dah nite deh still! Me did deh pon fyah, Rasta! At least, dat was until one likkle rastaman who wicked pon de pool ting ketch me. Him beat me two times, but den we nevah meet up again aftah dat and me return to me winnin’ ways. Me did have a good time still. Hopefully latah today will be irie like de day when me link Trouble.

Hey, me hope say all ah oonoo have one wicked weekend, seen! Walk good.

Tags: General // 2 Comments »

You know, I just recently watched the Lara Croft: Tomb Raider series of movies. Yeah, I know, I am really late. I know that these movies were around from about 1901, but at the time they came out, I was like, “Cho, this is just going to be some foolishness, like ‘Charlie’s Angels‘ or ‘Wonder Woman‘ and at the time, I was not impressed!

Anyway, I watched both movies last weekend and was pleasantly surprised. They were pretty good shows! I did have to say to myself that there were some really far fetched bits in each of the movies!

As an example, there was this part in the second movie where Lara was trapped in an underground city which was being flooded and when the bad guys were making their exit, they destroyed Lara’s vehicle which she would use to take her to the top.

At the same time, her scuba gear was out of air and so one would think that there was no way she could make it to the surface without air, seeing as she was pretty far beneath the surface.

So what did Lara do? Well, on the way down, she had seen a shark in the water and she guessed it was still in the vicinity, so she cut her arm with a knife and dove into the water and dived. Sure enough, in charged the shark! Lara pivoted her body to the left at the last instant, also delivering a straight jab to the shark’s nose. The shark, disconcerted by the punch, swerved to it’s left and Lara used this opportunity to grab on to the shark’s dorsal fin and hitch a quick ride to the surface.

Well, of course, you know that I shouted out with laughter, “Bumbo claat! Dem lie, eeeh?!”. Since then, I have had occasion to question just how unrealistic that bit was though!

Check this out: A man from the Florida Keys saw a shark grab his dog. The shark had three quarters of the dog in its mouth! What did the man do? Break down and cry, saying, “Goodbye, Spot! You will be missed!”. I know thats what I’d do, but some are made of sterner stuff. No sir, this man bawled out, “Noooooooooo!”, and then chucked off into the water and punched the shark! Disconcerted or whatever, the shark released the dog and swam away! Wow! Who da thunk it?!

Of course, they still haven’t answered how come Lara didn’t suffer the bends, or how come the shark didn’t return, given that she was only holding on to a piece of driftwood at the surface and she was still bleeding, and that she was in the water for three days like that, but hey… at least as it concerns the initial encounter with the shark, maybe something like that IS possible…

People, I received what I think is probably a pretty accurate Powerpoint presentation which speaks to how the current economic meltdown in the U.S. occurred. It is very interesting to watch and I urge you all to do so. The Powerpoint Presentation passed muster going through my company’s virus scanners and so I believe its clean and perfectly safe for you to download and watch.

Go ahead and do so. Its hilarious, and like I said, its got that ring of truth, baby!

Tags: General // 6 Comments »

Wow! I thought I had a reasonable vocabulary, but I played this game on Facebook called “Word Challenge” where they give you six letters and ask you to get as many words as you can out of those letters in a certain time limit. I couldn’t get a very high score at all. The highest score I got was in the 4000+ region, which they said meant that I had the vocabulary of a drill sargeant. Trust me, I am not amused!
Actually, Natty just beat me at it, she got a 7000+ score. She is said to have the vocabulary of a rock star.
I think it is pretty hard still, though I must admit that I am not a person who used to play Scrabble, which the game sort of reminds me of. I shall have to keep trying! Never give up, I say! Not even when the person who invited me got a 12,000+ score. I am not giving in, man, after all, she was probably playing the game for a month before she invited me!
Y’all should give it a whirl. Just log in to Facebook and search for “word challenge”. Let me know how you did…

Tags: General // 15 Comments »

Ok, people, heads up! Its Friday! Right now, its 5:15 pm in Tehran… and they can’t drink! We have to help those people out, man! We have to drink for them! Go out to your liquor stores now, stock up on the Appleton, the Hennessey, the Grey Goose, whatever your poison is and help these people out!

Oh and remember, its 4:51 in Kuwait City, and they can’t drink there either, so bottoms up! We have to drink a round for the Kuwaitis as well, yu zimi!

What else is there to do right now but sit and wait for the sky to fall on our heads? BTW, what do you think of the US$700 billion bailout? Are you for it or against? We can discuss it while we put down the third round, cool?

Happy Friday, peeps. Maybe I will write y’all a drunken soliloquy later… but given my record of late, maybe not.

Tags: General // 7 Comments »