Why They Ban Gays
Emmie from Girls in the Bag wrote a nice little piece on hotels in the Caribbean that don’t accept bookings from gay couples. She was pretty shocked that they would take this approach. It is probably a good idea to read her post before continuing here, I think… run along and do that, then come back, ok? The post is very interesting, as it makes you think about what you really believe is right. Here is my point of view on the matter.
I have a few friends who are gay. They are all male. I don’t know any lesbians personally, or if I do, I don’t know that they are lesbians. As I said, these men are gay, and I know it, and they know I know it, and I don’t really have a problem with it… that is, as long as they don’t start to ‘get jiggy wid it’ right in front of me! 
Don’t stop reading here, there is more…
I have been around these men at times when they start to exhibit their gayness in an overt fashion, shall I say, and to be truthful, I find that it makes me rather uncomfortable.
Now, I am human, and so I am inconsistent. I would love to watch lesbians make out, but I don’t want to see gay men getting too intimate with each other at all! Of course, when they start to carry on, I simply avert my eyes and pretend that what I saw didn’t happen. Still, it makes me uncomfortable.
The fact that I get uncomfortable when things like that occur make me sympathetic to other people who feel the same way. I can understand that there are others around who would be so uncomfortable seeing things of that nature going on around them that they would prefer to go to a resort which banned gay couples from attending.
At the same time, I realise that it is wrong to ban people simply because of their sexual orientation. After all, it is just a slight step from there to the situation of white people objecting when black people attend the same resort that they do, or vice versa! They could claim that it makes them uncomfortable to have people of other races around! While they can make that claim, I don’t think there is anything right about it, especially as I not of the “white” persuasion myself!
Yeah, I’d have a bit of a problem with that, and I can see the similarity between discriminating because of color and discriminating based on sexual preference.
In the comments to Emmie’s post, someone drew attention to the similarities between the hotel’s stance on gay couples and their stance on banning children. I knew about this ban, and never thought about it before, but it is also inherently wrong! It is against the rights of these children for them to be banned from these hotels too! Why then do we accept this treatment of children and yet raise our eyebrows at the treatment being meted out to gays? That too is an inconsistency!
Now I have been thinking about it for awhile. This is what I’ve come up with. We understand when they ignore the rights of children, because we know how children are. They are noisy, they play rowdy games, they throw things, yadda, yadda, yadda. When they are around, they tend to disturb the people around them. If you were going on vacation to soothe jangled nerves, the last thing you want around you is a bunch of noisy children, know what I mean?
The hotels discriminate against children because of the behaviour we expect from them, therefore.
I suggest that the hotels discriminate against the gays for similar reasons. Think about it. They discriminate against homosexual couples, but they don’t mind renting a room to two people of the same sex! If the gay couple really wants to holiday at these hotels, all they have to do is book the room for two men or two women and make no mention of being a couple!
I guess that no one cares much what these two men or women do in the privacy of their room, and no one is going to check. Outside their room is another matter. People might become uncomfortable by overt displays of gay love, and so the hotel gives these gay people the message that they must moderate their behaviour in public by the action of banning gay couples.
So am I saying its right that they ban gays? No. Are they right to ban children too? No. But I think I understand why they ban children, and if we approve of that, then maybe we should be able to see the logic behind banning gays too. What do you think?
Its a gray area, I know, and and opinions will vary as to what exactly is the proper approach to dealing with this issue. I guess thats why its so interesting…
Loading ...
The first time I saw a gay male couple ‘gettin jiggy wid it’ in broad daylight was in London. I was walking through the park on my way home one afternoon and there were these two men sitting on a park bench beneath a tree embracing, sucking face and one had the zipper of the other open, his hand groping to find the stuff.
I can’t say I found the sight pleasant, but I just passed and went on my merry way as all else who were passing did.
I’ve encountered a number of gay males in my work…one in particular got a ‘riser’ while I was examining him. Well, I basically left him to chill out and told him that if he didn’t then I was going to ask someone else to see him. He was fine after that.
I think the views that you expressed here are similar to mine, so I don’t have much to add.
I think that couples only hotels exclude children not only for their presumed behavior but also in an effort to not expose them to the going ons that usually ensue in these hotels. Lets face facts, who of you out there would like to expose you 6 or 7 year olds or younger even - (Not even my 17 year old!!!!She’ll have to take that holiday without Mama!!)to the very explicit sexuality of these hotels?
I am not a prude…but all I can think of when I think of these hotels is all the germs that are floating around!!!I only went once to Hedonism II in Negril and I refused to put my lips on those glasses. I made sure to inspect my forks and spoons and to be quite honest, I did not enjoy the experience of seeing strangers making out with other stranges…I knew they were strangers because the plane came in that day as well as I watched a number of people introduce themselves to each other and were kissing and hands up or down articles of clothing within 1/2 hour.
That is not for me. But I certainly would not be stopping anyone else from ‘enjoying’ these treats.
Ciya….generally speaking I don’t go into any body of freshwater (AKA swimming pool….they have one at Hedo dubbed the ‘cum tub’) in those resorts. Strictly sea water, dem coulda put chlorine in it ’till dem tun eediat!
Ciya, that may well be for Hedonism II and Hedo III, but the Sandals chain and the rest of the Superclubs chain are far tamer, based on the ones I’ve visited… Maybe you might still not want the kiddies to go there though…
I don’t think Gays should be banned, and agree that to get by that they should book only as 2 people, not a couple.
Now, children (I have some) and have come across hotels that do not accept them, and same with pets. I guess that it is really up to the hotel on that, and in the case of some hotels I think it far better they do not allow children - so that adults can actually find places to go and be just with adults and escape them if that is their wish.
Pets… they too deserve to be disallowed from hotels at the hotel-owners discrimination as they have potential problems… chewing, soiling the place in disgusting ways… and noise.
ok, while you may not know me ‘in person’ you do know at least one lesbian
for obvious reasons I don’t agree with their policy…but it’s not my buisness they’re trying to get apparently, and my money is accepted elsewhere…I would not try to book as just ‘2 women’, since I have no need or desire to hide what/who I am
no, no, no, mb. you got it all wrong.
1. the resorts state, and i quote: “mixed couples (male/female) only”. this means that i could not even go there with my best (female) friend for a vacation. as i said in my post:
this means i cannot attend with my lesbian lover, my best friend, my sister, or my mother. i actually have to be fucking a man, or pretending to, in order to gain admission.
*which*is*stupid*.
2. i am also not talking about an “overtly” sexual place like hedonism; i was looking at sandals, which advertises itself to be a relaxing, romantic place for couples.
3. children have basic human rights, which include food, water, a nourishing environment, and lots and lots of love; trips to caribbean islands do not, in my book, qualify as a “right” until you are a grownup with your own money and can do what you please. i know one “grownup” who tried to borrow money from me to go on vacation, and i gave him the finger. because if he wants a vacation, let him fucking pay for it. children, i am sorry, do not have a god-given right to meet mickey mouse. the “no-children” rule exists solely for the benefit of people who want to go there and be relaxed and romantic, and other resorts are offered in similar locations by the same company which allow and even encourage children to attend. there is no other resort that i could find which dictates all guests must be same-sex couples (whether romantically involved or just friends or mother and daughter).
4. you also do not know me in person, but i will be your token bisexual woman.
5. i am not offended by homosexuality or bisexuality or heterosexuality (maybe by bestiality…). however, unless i am at hedonism where it is expected that everyone walks around naked and makes out all the time, i do not want to see, on my vacation, *any* couple grossly making out in public. and if i had children, i would hate to have them see it either, because even if the couple is straight, you still have to then have the talk “mommy, why is he sticking his tongue down her throat?” which is i’m sure difficult regardless of sexual orientation of the couple in question…
just some thoughts. and i am still pissed off and think that the resorts are stupid for ignoring not only gay couples but anyone who wants to travel with a platonic relation/friend.
love,
emmie
I feel i must comment here. Hedonism III is absolutely my all-time favorite place to go!!! I know everybody has different tastes, but I must tell you that you really do not see couples making out in a gross way all over the place. It is a fun, wild place - but not gross! At night, in the nightclubs, the freaks come out for sure, and the nudism is contained in the nude area! So, whatever your taste, you only have to participate in what you want to and are not confronted by things that are objectionable unless you choose to be. (As I said, the nightclub is where the freaks come out at night, but if you are offended, try the romantic piano bar instead.) There’s something for everybody! I have to admit I prefer Hedonism III to II, because its new and has extra amenities like jazuzzi tubs in every guestroom, etc. Its clean - I’m one of the most scornful people I know - the hotel maids keep it clean!!! I HATE Sandals hotels, because they’re boring anyway! I’ve been married for 11 years and dated my hubby for 7 before that - if I want to go to bed at 10pm, I can stay home - Sandals - the nightclub is open only as a token gesture - everybody goes to bed by 10pm! I like to go somewhere fun, where I have a variety of things to do and can just relax and enjoy myself. I stay away from the nude beach, because its not my style, and I enjoy the great variety of restaurants, drinks, people and entertainment. So, if I sound like I’m advertising Hedo III - I am! As to the gay couple issue - it is an infringement of human rights - but since when has our little island home been a great defender of that??? And as to the adult only policy - both the als Sandals and Superclubs chains have family resorts - with great events targeted at entertaining children and adults - and adult-only hotels!!! I think that’s very appropriate - grownups need a place to let their hair down! Anyway, nuff said!
Let me clarify - when I said how long we’ve been married - both Midas and I like to have fun and to us, Hedo II offers a fun, romantic vacation!
make that hedo III - sorry!
Hi All! Thanks for commenting… Firstly, Emmie, let me say that I seem to have made a mistake! Apparently two women cannot book a room double occupancy at Sandals at all! How bizarre!
I just called Sandals Reservations and they confirmed what you said. They are some silly mofos, IMHO! That said, I suggest that you all turn your heads to SuperClubs. I also called their reservations and they do allow two women or men to share a room! To Sandals, I say “MORE FIRE!!!” Re the rights of kids, I did not mean that kids have a right to a Caribbean vacation, but that if I as a parent wanted to take my kids with me on a Caribbean vacation, they ought to be able to go to any hotel, after all, they are humans. Of course, I understand that there are many things one wouldn’t want their kids to see and thus one wouldn’t want to take their kids there, but by expressly forbidding children, it seems to me that the hotels have transgressed against the children’s rights in much the same way that they have against gays.
when I say I don’t know any lesbians, T is right. I don’t know them in person. When I said that, what Imeant was I don’t know them as people I currently go out and have a drink with or play cards with, or as people who drop by the house now and then, and so on.
Finally, Seven, whappen to you? You been drinking?
Hail all,
Spoke with a friend from the hotel industry and she advised that because of our laws, the hotels (smaller ones especially)usually “have to” take the stance in theory. She confirmed that there are similar laws in most other Caribbean islands as well. So I guess this has something to do with the problem not to mention that we are still very homophobic here. Change the laws (if you dare to spend time talent and treasure trying) and you should have less hinderance. The bigger properties usually turn blind eyes and when the question is asked they plead total ignorance but bearing in mind they can also afford a lengthy legal wrangling if the babylon don’t believe them.