The Mad Bull’s Blog, Version 3

Ok, ok, ok… Its now 8:21 and the Internet Cafe closes in 39 minutes and anything that I’d type now would take kind of long, so I man a go follow the Doctor’s example…. tonight is joke night, Iyah! Dem probably a bit salt so you going to get two of dem, seen? Here we go.

The Jamaican Fisherman

A poor Jamaican fisherman was shipwrecked on a desert island. He had lost his boat, his livelihood and possessions. He was trudging round the island in a dejected mood when he came across an old brass lamp washed up on the beach. Remembering the tale of Aladdin (and the role of magic lamps in jokes) he rubbed it.

POOF!

A Genie appeared. A Jewish Genie. “Vey!” he said. “Am I glad to be outta there. Three hundred years I bin in that thing, my life and soul! What can I do for you my boy?”

The Jamaican asked if the Genie granted wishes. “Wishes, Schmishes! Course I do. I’ll grant you two wishes, used to be three but I gotta think about my margins”.

“Well,” said the Jamaican after some consideration “I’d like to be white and surrounded by women.”

“No problem” said the Genie.

POOF! - the Jamaican was transformed into a tampon.

Moral: Never do business with a Jewish Genie - there’s always a string attached.

Ok, so how did you like the first one? Not so good huh? Ok, like Jesus, I saved the best one for last!

Jamaican Shoes

A married couple was on holiday in Jamaica. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed this small sandal shop. From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, “You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop.”

So the married couple walked in.

The Jamaican said to them, “I ave some special sandals I tink you would be interested in. Dey make you wild at sex.”

Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn’t need them, being the sex god he was.

The husband asked the man, “How could sandals make you into a sex freak?”. The Jamaican replied, “Just try dem on, Man.”

Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in, and tried them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn’t seen in many years!! In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him violently over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican’s thighs.

The Jamaican then began screaming: “YOU GOT DEM ON DE WRONG FEET!!!

Ok, you liked that one a whole lot better, didn’t you? Who da man?

Huh? You didn’t like them?

Gweh! You too fool fool! More Fyah!

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