The Mad Bull’s Blog, Version 3

Yes, I know, boys and girls, I have been a bad boy, not posting for a couple of days and all… Sometimes I kind of run out of steam, but this time, thats not exactly what caused it. Heres the deal: I started reading “Digital Fortress“, by Dan Brown and I rented two movies, “Sahara” and “Crash“.

I got home late from work Tuesday and so after watching Sahara, there wasn’t time to blog, you done know. So, what can I tell you about the movie? How did I rate it? Hmmm… well, it was a decent watch, but it didn’t fire me up fully, if you know what I mean. There was a pretty rass boat on the movie, though, if any of you who read my blog win the lotto and you decide you want to reward me for all the great blog entries I have provided for you to read here, you can’t go wrong if you decide to buy me that boat. Rent the movie and check the boat out, after all, if you’ve won the Lotto, the cost of the DVD will be absolutely negligible, and you might enjoy the show too, to boot.

Last night, I got home a bit late too, and I was planning to watch “Crash”, but I started reading the “Digital Fortress” novel with dinner and that was it… no “Crash”. There I went again, racking up the late charges! Hey, any of you know how I can get in touch with Dan Brown? Maybe I should send him my late charges bill, to rass…

You know what I find interesting? How come I had never heard of Dan Brown before “Da Vinci Code”? The man is a wicked writer, star! There is more, seen?

Its been awhile since I have come across an author who makes it hard for me to put a book down, but I have devoured three of his novels over a fairly short timeframe recently and trust me, he keeps me up at night! I need to look for more books from him, rasta… Hey, if you haven’t read any of his books, give them a try… he is pretty good!

So, tonight I will watch “Crash”, and if you’re good kiddies, maybe I’ll tell you all about it… or not! Maybe I’ll come up with something WAY more interesting! What? How you mean, you not holding your breath? Fiesty and rude!

I got some amusing little jokes via email today. They seem to be jokes in the vein of the famous “Little Johnny” jokes, but this little kid is called “Little Tony”, go figure. Since I didn’t give y’all enough nourishment over the last couple of days, here, knock yourselves out…

Little Tony on Maths, Pt. I
Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
“Why?” asks the father?
“The teacher asked ‘How much is 2×3,’ I said “6″, replies TONY. “But that’s right!” says his dad.

“Yeah, but then she asked me “How much is 3×2?”
“What’s the fucking difference?” asks the father.
“That’s what I said!”, said Little Tony.

Little Tony on Grammar, Pt. I
He yelled out, “Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!”
The teacher replied, ‘Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is ‘urinate.’ Please use the word ‘ur-i-nate’ in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go.”
Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, “You’re an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you’d be a TEN!

Little Tony on Grammar, Pt. II
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word “beautiful” in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, “My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.”
“Very good, Suzie,” replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. “My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully.” She said, “Excellent, Michael!”

Then the teacher reluctantly called on little TONY. “Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, ‘Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!’”.

Little Tony on Grammar, Pt. III
Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, “Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?”
TONY says “Mas-tur-bate.”
Miss Rogers smiles and says, “Wow, little TONY, that’s a mouthful.”.
Little TONY says, “No, Miss Rogers, you’re thinking of a blowjob.”

Little Tony on Growing Old
Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, “Son, you know eating all that candy isn’t good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.”

Little TONY replied, “My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.” The man asked, “Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?”

Little TONY answered, “No, he minded his own fucking business.

I hope you all enjoyed that. Since I didn’t write any posts yesterday or the day before, I decided that I would do up something a little different for you… its the previous post, click here to go give it a check nuh?

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