The Mad Bull’s Blog, Version 3

Cho. Its been raining on and off today, it seems that it might be a result of Tropical Storm Beta, which is right up against the South American mainland, but due south of us! Apparently that storm now has winds of 60 mph and it is drifting northwards at 2 mph! I am getting really bummed out with all this rain still, and I am wishing that I could go to sleep tonight and wake up tomorrow to hear that its now December and that the hurricane season is over!

Of course, with my luck, another tropical storm would form after that and then we would hear that they now have to extend the hurricane season past November from now on!

Can you tell that I am a bit fed up with all this storm crap?

Anyway, I am sure that most of you who read here are pretty fed up as well, since most of you live in the same general area or you all have family who do. We all could use a little laugh right now, so I am going to post two jokes. Trouble, I know you detest posting other people’s jokes, but if you bear with me and read these two, you might just find that they are irie.

Poor Doctor D, he is always criticising my jokes and when I finally get two half decent jokes to post, his computer chooses to be on the blink. Oh well, the rest of us will just have to enjoy the jokes for them, won’t we?

((((RING)))) phone rings…

((((**Pick Up**))))

“Hello?”
“Hi honey, this is Daddy, Is Mommy near the phone?”.
“No Daddy, She’s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank”.
After a brief pause, Daddy says, “But honey, you haven’t got an Uncle Frank”.
“Oh yes I do, and he’s upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now”.

Heh… I continued the joke below, if you wah fi read it, click pon that link right dung dehso…

Okay, Here we go again:

((((Brief Pause))))

“Uh, okay then, .this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door, and shout to Mommy that Daddy’s car just pulled into the driveway”.
“Okay Daddy, just a minute”.

((((pause))))

“I did it Daddy”.
“And what happened honey?”
“Well, Mommy got all scared, and she jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn’t moving at all!”
“Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Frank?”
“He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool, but I guess he didn’t know that you took out the water last week to clean it, and he hit the bottom of the pool and I think he’s dead”.

((((Long Pause))))

((((Longer Pause))))

Then Daddy says . . .. “Swimming pool?? Is this 555-7039??????”.
“No.”.
((((Click))))

HA HA HA HA!!! HA HA HA HA HAHHHH!!!

Woiiieee! No sah, suppose that one was a true story? Bwoy, the Hand of God would definitely have to be in that one! Okay, oonoo ready for the next one? I have removed some of the Yardie dialect in hope that more people will understand it. Here goes!

A young Jamaican father-to-be awakened the village doctor in the middle of the night, saying “Docta! Docta! Come fas’! Its mi wife, sah! Her water broke an shes about fi have di pickney!”

The doctor came over and quickly prepared himself. He then called the father over and gave him a lamp so that he could see what he was doing. “Hold the lamp high. Hold di lamp higher, nuh man!”, the doctor urged the father.

The father obliged, and behold, a baby’s cry was soon heard. The father cried out: “Praise the Lord! Its a bwoy! Me a de proud father of one baby boy!”.

The doctor again told the father, “Hold up the lamp higher. Hold the lamp higher, nuh man!”.
The father again complied, and to be sure, another cry was heard shortly.,br>The father excitedly proclaimed: “Its twins!! Mi get twin baby! Me doubly blessed! Glory to God!”

The doctor instructed the man once more, “Hold up the lamp higher. Hold the lamp higher, nuh!”.
Sure enough, a THIRD cry was heard! The father,somewhat subdued, in a nervous tone muttered, “Oh, thank Jesus.”

The doctor repeated, “Hold up the lamp higher. Hold the lamp higher, nuh man!”,and a short while later, yet a FOURTH cry was heard!
The fathersaid nothing, being lost in deep thought.

The doctor for a fifth time commanded, “Hold up the lamp higher, man. Hold the lamp higher, nuh!”
The father then asked; “Doc, yuh think maybe its the light thats attracting dem?”

HA HA HA HA!!! HA HA HA HA HAHHHH!!!

So what oonoo think? The joke dem wikid or wha’?

Hey, Pirates Week kicks off tomorrow, you know! You want to know more about what this involves? If so, click here. Maybe I will tell you more about it tomorrow. If you drop everything now, you can prolly still catch a flight and come chill down here with me for some liquor and to enjoy the festivities….

UPDATE: Just got a call from Seven. She and her family are alright, no real damage to their home… its all good!

Tags: Entertaining Stuff //