The Mad Bull’s Blog, Version 3

Ok, I have a little joke for you, courtesy of Revolution Island. RI, you can post the jokes on your own site too, you know! At least it would let us hear something from you more often…

Doubya is Questioned.

George Bush goes to an elementary school to talk to the kids to get a little PR. After his talk he offers question time.. One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him his name.

” Stanley ,” responds the little boy.

“And what is your question, Stanley?”

“I have 3 questions: First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? And third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?”

Just then, the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies they will continue after recess.
When they resume George says, “OK, where were we? Oh, that’s right: question time. Does anyone have a question?

A boy puts up his hand and George asks him his name.

“Jimmie,” responds the little boy.

“And what is your question, Jimmie?”

“I have 5 questions: First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden? Fourth, why did the recess bell ring 20 minutes early? And Fifth, what the hell happened to Stanley?”

Here are a couple more from different sources for good measure… click the link below.

Rich Man, Poor Man

A rich man and a poor man were discussing what they gave their wives for their anniversary. The rich man says, “I bought my wife a diamond necklace and a Mercedes Benz.” Poor man asks, “Why did you buy her two gifts?”

The rich man replies, “Well, in case she doesn’t like the diamond Necklace, she can drive her Mercedes Benz to take it back.”

The poor man acknowledges the rich man’s answer then proceeds to tell him what he got his wife. “I got my wife a pair of flip flops and a dildo. With a confused and intrigued look, the rich man asks, “Why did you buy her those gifts?!” The poor man replies, “Well, in case she doesn’t like the flip flops, she can go f**k herself.

A Horse, A Chicken & A Harley

On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together. One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help! Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor.

Running around, the chicken spied the farmer’s new Harley. Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend’s life. Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer’s bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse!

Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned. The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best Buddies, Best Pals.

A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life! The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle. Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down thing and he would then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.

The moral of the story? (yep, you betcha, there IS a moral!)

“When You’re Hung Like A Horse, You Don’t Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks!

I was over by Waiter Rant yesterday… The man had up two excellent posts on the front page and one that spoke to his server dying from traffic after he was linked by Fark.com. That one would mainly be of interest to techies. The posts are good, so I link them below, but check out the amount of comments he gets nuh!

Ball of Fire - 92 comments!

Due To Technical Difficulties…… - 75 comments!

Missing Each Other - 199 COMMENTS!!!

How the phuck does he do it?! I’m seriously jealous!

Still, I am glad for Waiter Rant… the man is at the top of his game. I think you should go and read some of his posts… now! Put your comments here though, cuz he plainly doesn’t need them!

You all know by now that I-man love to watch American Idol (though I went to Corner Pocket last night instead of watching it). Anyway, Amarican Idol is great, and anything related to it is postworthy, IMHO. Check this out. Apparently Ryan Seacrest (host of American Idol) and Paula Abdul (judge on Idol) are at loggerheads… Seacrest spoke about his awkward relationship with Paula, but Paula disagrees… “Reports of a feud are ridiculous,” the 43-year-old former pop star said. “We are one funny dysfunctional family. There’s nothing but love.”, she said.

That didn’t stop the two from insulting each other though. Read this article for more info, but I think Paula won the insultfest when she shot down rumours that Ryan was going out with Teri Hatcher (an actress in ABC’s hit TV series, “Desperate Housewives“). “He only kisses the mirror,” Abdul said. “And honestly, do you think Teri Hatcher is that desperate of a housewife?”. Mmmm mmmmm!!! Di woman tongue SHARP nuh ra$$, star! Still, my major problem with Paula is her hairstyle! That bang covering half her face… whats up with that? I mean… thats obsolete now, isn’t it? I think she needs to hop on a plane and come to Cayman and let Natty give her a hairdo. Dah wah I think!

Tags: Funny Stuff, General //