Cool Runnings
And just like that, another vacation is at an end. (* sigh *)
The picture above is of Carib Ocho Rios as viewed from the “Our Lady of Fatima” Catholic Church in Ocho Rios. That church is where my brother’s ashes were scattered so many years ago, and where only recently my brother-in-law’s son was christened. I wish I was back there now contemplating going to Skotches Jerk Centre in Drax Hall for Jerk Pork chased with a whites and coconut water instead of here now, contemplating work tomorrow. Alas, thats how life is.
Why don’t we contemplate a joke, like this one about the evils of that demon, liquor? After all, I need to cheer myself up.
The Value of a Drink
“Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame
Then I look into the glass and think
About the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams.
If I didn’t drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered.
Then I say to myself, “It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.”
~ Jack Handy
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
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“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day. ”
~Frank Sinatra
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
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“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.”
~ Henny Youngman
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
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“24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.”
~ Stephen Wright
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
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“When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let’s all
get drunk and go to heaven!”
~ Brian O’Rourke
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
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“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”
~ Benjamin Franklin
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a nerd
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“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.”
~ Dave Barry
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
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To some it’s a six-pack, to me it’s a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
~ Dave Howell
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
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And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here’s how it went:
“Well ya see, Norm, it’s like this… A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back, that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not
Take it easy, y’all. 
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Oh the joys of the demon drink. i like the dancing and singing perception when drunk i do dislike drunk dialing though.
At least you got to go on vacation! Think of the many of us who still have to wait for what seems like an eternity for our vacation time to roll around! Or even worse! Think of those of us who took their vacation time early in teh year and who now have not one jot of hope for a vacation at all this year!
I don’t drink alcohol at all. I’ve had far too many bad experiences with drunk people to last me a lifetime.
Interesting thoughts on drinking. Thanks for sharing. Sorry about your brother.
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