How past experiences affect your life

Feb 22 2015

learing concept

According to the theory known as social behaviorism, by the sociologist Herbert Mead, the past social experiences help to form the personality of people. He believed that the personality is developed on terms of social experiences and not biologically, developing self when they interact with each other. He says that without one another and interactions between them, one cannot mature. It is as same as a child being isolated for some time from the rest of the world and he/she doesn’t mature mentally as well as physically.

The next phase is the social experience, which includes the exchange of symbols and only people can give meaning to words and symbols. When you ask a trained dog to sit it sits and then you offer them a snack. But the dog has no meaning why it sat, but it does so to get the snack. You can ask the dog to sit for many reasons but for the dog, he isn’t aware of any. Also Mead noted that it’s equally important to understand the individual intentions. It gives us the power to analyze the behaviors of individuals even before they act.

What Mead refers to as taking another individual’s role is that we assume certain behaviors of people when we are in a satiation like seeing a speeding car behind us. We assume that they are in a rush or thinking of switching lanes.

Looking-glass self is another important theory in the concept of social behaviorism. This is like mirroring what others may think of us. For example, if we think that others see us as good looking, we see us being good looking or if you think others see you as fat, you see yourself as fat.

Many people take the other persons role when they are growing. Look at children, they know very little so they mimic others, mostly people like their parents who have significance to their social development. During initial stages when they are playing playhouse they take the roles of their parents but eventually, they are replaced by other roles of their surroundings. Likewise as we grow old we see such changes in our social lives. But Mead’s theory has a lot of critics and some tend to think that Mead is focusing too much on the society in developing an individual’s personality.

Another sociologist Erik H. Erikson stated in his findings that in contrast to what Freud believes which says that an individual’s personality depends on the very first stages of life, personality changes occur all the way up to the death at different stages of life. The theory is not well accurate because people experiences changes in different orders of time. Despite all the disagreements, the general idea many sociologists agree that the greatest impact on an individual’s socialization abilities come from the parents.

During the infant stages, people cannot reply on anything or anyone other than the parents who helps them to mature. Through family they learn communication, trust, culture and beliefs. Not all development comes from the family; they can mature through experiences they gain from the environments and cultures too. The saying “village to raise a child” seems true enough since different social classes of people raise their children in different ways. The better the environment is, better the child growth is. A survey which took place in USA has compared what families of upper and lower classes want in their children.

The findings say that a lower class family expects obedience and conformity while the upper class favors creativity and better judgment (NORS, 2003). If you wonder why, the lower class jobs are highly supervised and seek for obedience among the workers and they expect the same from their children. And the upper classes jobs are mostly inspire the individuality and creativity and apparently that’s what they expect from their children to see. Apart from the family, school also has a major impact on one’s individuality. You spend the most time of your growing up life at schools and you can observe that children play with other children of the same age and boys seems more physically tuff and active while girls seems a bit behaved. Boys find abstract activates like video games interesting while girls tend to be more artistic.

The same choices happen when you go to college, while boys tend to major in physical sciences and computing while most girls major in arts or humanities. While schooling children discover peer groups, children with the same interests. They tend to mature more with them instead with the families thereafter, they can share their opinions and interests about music, fashion etc. Peer groups make children more outspoken and behave without adult supervision. The individuals get to know who they are and what their likes and dislikes are about and this is the stage where parents try to involve on their lives since the environment the children are effects their growth and behavior deeply. Mass media and television affects the personal behavior as well. It effects the creativity by lessening it and makes people more passive while in America they have the most TV sets per household and most time spent watching TV.

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The Powers of a Positive Attitude

Jan 19 2015

Thinking Positive

Listen to your head for a while and your thoughts. If I ask what type of thoughts they are, can you tell me whether they are positive or negative?

And when you are walking down the street with such thoughts in your head, do you think the passersby can think what is in your mind?

While the answer to the first question is in your hands, the second one is pretty generic. Even though they cannot say exactly what your thoughts are, they can get the feeling of it.

And when you enter a party, do your friends go all silent as if something bad happened or do they just perk up as if something great happened?

The answers to all these questions are on your frame of mind.

The thoughts you have in your head affects you, your attitudes, looks and also the people around you. And the attitudes you carry out with you depends on you, can be either positive or negative. Positive thoughts are filling and invigorating. The people around a positive thoughts person seems energized by his/her attitude while the negative thoughts have a sapping effect, makes you all gloomy and sad and turns the surroundings moody as well.

Attitude can also be defined by the way you look at the world. If you always look at the negative things of the world, your head can be filled with negative thoughts and vice versa.

There is so much you can gain from positive attitudes. Studies say that you can gain better health, friends, handle stress and problems much better etc.

The positive attitude first starts with you and your healthy image. If you are confident, satisfied and self-assured about yourself, you can make the others around you feel the same way. The negative attitudes about yourself make you feel bad thus making the ones around you feel the same way.

When you want to have a positive attitude you have to feed your head with healthy thoughts. Due to media and its constant dose of bad news this is difficult and also studies show that out of every 14 things parents say to their children, only one is positive, which is sad.

For starters, to hear and gather happy thoughts, you can spend time with children or with friends, go watch a funny movie etc which will fill you with positive stimuli thus promoting a positive attitude.

Although negative thoughts never leave us, we can always face the world with a positive attitude and appreciate the positive things about our lives. This can help you as well as those who are around. Sometimes when people face difficulties, they seek advice, but most of the times what they really need is some positive company to be with them and listen and a positive attitude and a smiling person can cheer them up without even saying a word.

Positive thoughts and attitude seems interesting and good but we often find many people caught in negative thoughts as well. It’s not wrong to be sad and gloomy, we all have a time to mourn but dwelling on negative thoughts for far too long is not healthy either. The best thing to do at your darkest hours is to just focus on the good things in your life, only the positive things and light up. When you do that, all your problems become things you can overcome.

There’s nothing to lose by being positive, all you have is to gain. Positive attitudes retards aging, makes you healthier, helps you manage stress and keeps all around you happy as well. So why not be positive about it and adopt a positive attitude today?

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Avoiding Negative People

Sep 13 2014

negative people

One of the perks of living in Florida is the excellent year-round weather there is to enjoy. Yes, it can get quite hot in the summer. And during the “winter” months (if you can call them that), you might get a day or two in the 40s.

But for the most part, it’s all poolside weather to be had.

Even so, you have the people factor. Negative people can rain on your parade and make a beautiful day the worst – if you let them.

That’s why I try to make it a point to avoid negative people. Because when you let people dump their bad attitude and their shit on you, it will definitely make you stink.

But how do you avoid this people? they are all over the place. No matter where you, including Florida.

In order to avoid negative people, you must first associate yourself with positive people. When you have positive people around you, by default you will generally always be around positivity.

However, we do interact with people outside of our circles every day, right? So you will inevitable come across the occasional asshole every now and then. You could be riding in a train, plane, limo or boat. They will find you.

They want to tell you about the latest murder that took place in town. Or, how much the economy is in shambles. Or, how their spouse is driving them nuts. They are just full of negativity.

If you sit there and listen to all this stuff, it will definitely contaminate your mind. So, you have to cut them off.

You simply have to learn how to cut negative people off quickly but politely so that it doesnt ruin your sunshine. All you have to do is say, “hey, I’m really sorry but I gotto run”. Get in your vehicle and get out of dodge.

If it’s a close friend you’re having a conversation with, just tell them you have to go or change the subject to something more positive.

Negative people can suck the energy out of your world, if you let them. If I find myself around a negative person and can’t immediately get away, I find that I have to go read a piece of positive material or listen to some positive audio to flush the bullshit that was just dumped on me.

So make it a point to avoid negative people. It will only help keep your days positive and sunny – no matter the weather.

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Sep 13 2014

100 sunsets and 100 sunrises. That is a goal I plan to attain before 2015 is over.

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